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For that girl-on-the-go who likes to be prepared, get the Just in Case Compact (justincaseinc.com, $30) in ruby red. This handy gadget opens to a mirror, with a hidden compartment for condoms. For the guy who's less than coordinated in the heat of the moment, give Hot Rod Condoms (hotrodcondoms.com, box of 12 for $4.99), the only rubbers with the trademarked Speedstrip Applicator that makes putting them on fast and easy. And what friend doesn't want a T-shirt that reads "I (Heart) Vagina" (ilovevagina.com, $15-21)?

Treat that well-groomed person in your life to the Philips Norelco Men's Bodygroom (amazon.com, $34.99), a wet-dry shaver that "safely trims and shaves all body zones." While this product is marketed specifically to men right now, it will probably come out in pink for women next year. At the very least, watch the totally spoofable video sales pitch at shaveeverywhere.com.

Different Uses For The Cone Illustration courtesy of Liberator.com

For some awesome dyke-made dyke porn, check out director Dana Dane's Eroktavision: Girls Night In (eroktavision.com, $29.95) and Shine Louise Houston's Superfreak (pinkwhite.biz, $35.95). For the straight girls and gay guys on your list, pick up Tina Tyler's Handyman (fivestardvd.com, $19.95), a DVD featuring some of the hottest male porn stars jerking off and talkin' dirty for your pleasure. Pick up the king of alt-porn Eon McKai's newest, Girls Lie (adultdvdempire.com, $24.95), for that friend who's into sex, girls, and rock 'n' roll on the punk side. For those who like hip retro fashion and have a fetish for '50s and '60s pinups and exploitation flicks, Rebelle Rousers (adultdvdempire.com, $21.95) is a kitschy, stylized porno from the mind of photographer-turned-director Octavio Winkytiki.

If your gift recipient's taste runs more toward the future than the past, invest in something space-aged: the Cone (liberator.com, $129). It may look like a pink plastic pyramid, but it's actually a unique vibrating toy that can be used in a dozen different ways (lucky for you, there are some examples online). Or wrap up some equally cutting-edge: surgical-grade stainless-steel toys from Njoy. Try the g-spot/p-spot whiz, the Jupiter Wand (babeland.com, $92), or, for anal fans, the Mars Plugs (babeland.com, $58-78). Your gift recipient will not be disappointed.

If sex and politics are your giftee's thing, do not miss the much-buzzed-about movie Corruption (tlavideo.com, $34.99), involving a corrupt senator, his scheming wife, his slave girl, and the other horny, morally challenged folks who populate their lives. The acting, production value, and sex are all top-notch, one of the only kinds of threesome that's difficult to achieve in porno.

Speaking of threesomes, finally there's a product to help fulfill the fantasy of double penetration without having to involve a neighbor. The Sportsheets Ménage à Trois Fantasy Kit (babeland.com, $60) comes complete with a silicone dildo and a unique harness that makes sporting two dicks at once as easy as pie. Women can strap it on with two dildos of their choice, or men can wear it, sliding the dick they were born with through one hole and the one they've picked out through the other. On the topic of cocks and holes, you must know someone who'd love Penis Pokey (quirkbooks.com,, $9.95) by Christopher Behrens, a kind of interactive book. Each page features a cool drawing with one thing missing, like a banana or a fire hose. There's a die-cut hole through the entire book, so you can stick your dick through the hole to complete the picture. This gift could be tons of fun at parties, but probably only if there's drinking involved.

If you know a fan of girls giving it to the guys, then run out and buy them Devinn Lane's Guide to Strap-On Sex from Shane's World (shanesworld.com, $24.71). Couple it with the Bend Over Beginner Kit, which comes with a harness and two dildos (babeland.com, $98), and you're all set. Strap-on fans might also enjoy the sexy brown leather Cowboi Harness (blowfish.com, $94.95). Complete with lace-up back and sheriff's star, it also has two holes, for double the pleasure—pair it with two of your favorite dildos, or with a double dildo like the Nexus (blowfish.com, $74.95-79.95) or the Feeldoe (blowfish.com, $83.95). For the kinksters on your shopping list, go for O: The Power of Submission (adultdvdempire.com, $29.95), Ernest Greene's hardcore feature based on an s/m classic; My Girlfriend Comes to the City and Beats Me Up ($13.95) by Stephen Elliot, an entertaining memoir-ish story collection; or Philosophy in the Dungeon: The Magic of Sex and Spirit ($17.95), by well-known author and leatherman Jack Rinella.

Has anyone else noticed that silicone is everywhere these days? Not only has it been unbanned for breast implants by the FDA, but it's the "It" material for sex toys and lubricants like Eros (blowfish.com, $9.95-16.95), oven mitts and cupcake-baking cups (crateandbarrel.com, $9.95 and $8.95), and now . . . s/m implements! That's right, Arizona-based Black Sun Products has jumped on the bandwagon and crafted riding crops with silicone pads and balls on the ends ($40-100). They may be non-stick for baking, but they're gonna hurt when they smack you.

Lucky for all the discriminating perverts out there, sex toys have gotten more sophisticated in the past few years than the guy who invented anal beads could ever have imagined. If you've got a few discerning loved ones on your shopping list, your first stop should be LELO, a Swedish company that has taken vibrator design to the next level, creating stunningly luxurious, conveniently rechargeable, unbelievably quiet yet powerful "pleasure objects" (their fancy term for vibrator). They're all amazing, but my favorite is the Lily (southcoastpleasure.com, $98)—and not just because it comes in purple, er, sweet plum

Blowfish carries the most intriguing toy that could double as sculpture: The glass Strawberry Plug (blowfish.com, $99.95-136.95), available in three sizes, is truly a work of art that you can stick in your ass. Plus, its unique shape means you can also put the other end in your pussy. Mi-Su toys are handcrafted with top-of-the-line materials like Swarovski crystal, obsidian, and 24-karat gold; but in case you're not ready to splurge on the diamond-encrusted titanium dildo (mi-su.com, 3300 pounds, or approximately $6400), you can give that special someone the solid-silver hammered cock ring (80 pounds, or about $157) or the Oyster Pearl Twister vibrator (59.99 pounds, or roughly $118). Engraving on the cock ring is extra.

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