If you're half-Mexican and. . .
Half-African: Afrijoles
Half-black: Black beans, Blaxican, Choco-Taco, Negrexican
Half-Arab: Garbanzo beaner, America's worst nightmare
Half-Canadian: Canexican
Half-Chinese: Chexican, Chinacan, Chinkano, combination plate, Mexinese, rice-n-beans
Half-Cornish: Cornish tortilla
HalfCosta Rican: Mextico (tico is a nickname for Costa Ricans)
Half-Croatian: Cro-Mex
Half-Czech: Czecano, Czex-Mex, Czexican, Mexislovakian
Half-Filipino: Chilipino, Mexipino
Half-Flemish: Fletino
Half-French: Frenchican
Half-gabacho: Amerilanga (combination of "American" and chilanga, the nickname for someone from Mexico City), Caucano, Gabaxicano, Güerexican, Mixican, Whispanic, white bean
Half-German: Beanerschnitzel, Germexican, wiener beaner
Half-Greek: Greexican, Mexi-eek (I never said all of the nicknames were clever)
Half-Guatemalan: Chapano (chapín is a nickname for Guatemalans)
Half-Hawaiian: Pineapple salsa
Half-honky: Chichonky
Half-Indian (the India kind): Curry tamale
Half-Indian (the Indian kind): Navajole
Half-Irish: Leprecano, green bean, McBeaner
Half-Italian: Mexican pizza, Spic-talian
Half-Japanese: Japanic, Mexanese
Half-Jewish: Jalapeño bagel, Jumex (also the name of a delicious Mexican fruit-nectar drink), Kahlua-jewa, kosher burrito, Mexi-Jew
Half-Korean: Korexican
Half-Pakistani: Mexistani
Half-Panamanian: Panamex
Half-Polish: Polexican, Polexiqui (this particular gal was Yaqui Indian on her Mexican side; she also called herself a Mexipolaqui)
Half-Portuguese: Pork-n-beans
Half-redneck: Rednexican, redback, wetneck
Half-Russian: Brown Russian
Half-Salvadoran: Salvexican
Half-Samoan: Samexican
Half-Scotch: McRiguez
Half-Turk: Turxican
Other Latinos also joined the game. A half-Spanish, half-American called himself "spam," a Cuban Jew goes by "Jewban," while a Peruvian from Minnesota describes herself as a "Minneruvian." Meanwhile, a Puerto Rican from New York insisted that Dominicanos were half-Dominican, half-anus (ano is "anus" in Spanish). And a half-Indian, half-Jew wrote in at the last moment with his moniker: Gandhistein. But the final, wisest word goes to a full-blooded gabacho:
"How about 'an American,' like all of us mutts?"
Don't see your nickname? E-mail me below, and I'll compile a full list for my as-yet-unfinished webpage!
Remedial material for new Mexican readers
But Miss España doesn't understand the hate
Children, and the art of making them
Lesbians, party favors, and more
The Mexican owns up
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