We asked the major mayoral contenders to discuss their dancefloor positions (cabbage patch? funky chicken?). Almost all acknowledged the cultural and economic importance of clubs, but Democratic candidate Mark Green gets the disco-dancer award, continuing his campaign as the anti-Rudy. "Nightlife attracts more people than the Mets, Yankees, Broadway, and the Metropolitan Museum combined," said Green. Gadfly Democrat George Spitz wants to decriminalize all drugs, a move that makes him a would-be hero to clubbers but probably unelectable to the rest of the city. Not everyone was so forthcoming: After two weeks of ignoring daily phone calls, Republican-come-lately Michael Bloomberg, apparently too busy learning new languages for campaign commercials, responded with a hastily e-mailed paragraph of bureaucratese. (He wants to "strike a balance" between residents and clubs. "It can be done if the administration and the nightclub owners work together to find that balance." Thanks, Mike, for the soul-searching.) But Bloomers has unfortunately expressed support for Rudy Washington—Giuliani's right-hand man in club carnage—as Public Advocate. Republican candidate Henry Hewes probably should have been more evasive. "I don't think nightclubs without live performances and where there is generally a high degree of drug use make a substantial contribution to the culture in New York," said the frumpy grump. "There's an awful lot of people that buy pornography. That doesn't make it a large contributor to the culture either." A dis to nightclubs and porn? Don't count on... More >>>