And the Emmy for the gayest upcoming awards show goes to . . . not the Tonys this time, but the Oscars, which will finally have the theater queens out-bitched and out-swished! Yes, this year's Academy Awards—just like the Globes—will be a lavender-tinted celebration of homo love, even if the cowpokes are gloomy, Capote barely touches his boyfriend, and the transsexual doesn't get too sexual. (She's a straight woman anyway.) It was a gay-for-pay year peopled with actors who are on the road to golden glory, especially since in actuality they're totally, certifiably—we're told for sure—straighter than the line to the Kodak Theatre. That makes their performances oh so brave and committed, don't you know, while the gays who play straight all the time (like certain movie stars in their everyday lives) don't ever get recognized for all the... More >>>