Santa Claus has five years clean and sober. He's also got an apartment, a new girlfriend, a VCR, and a job. He's most psyched about the VCR at the moment because it lets him catch up on all the Hollywood product he missed during the 10 years he was homeless and living on the street. It's not that Santa never went to the movies during the bad times. It's just that his viewing choices were limited by such factors as where to stash a shopping cart safely while the movie was playing and how to find theaters that admitted people wearing eight layers of clothes. Santa watched a lot of cheesy porn in the early '90s and a lot of Hong Kong action flicks. You could probably infer that he beat even the NYU film school types to the oeuvre... More >>>