You have to pay for it. Animals don't have to pay. Does a lion sit down and order a gazelle? It's just there. ... You can never fully fold burritos. They should come with a roll of Scotch tape, especially at Chipotle. ... Everything comes with fries nowadays. You can never lose weight because even if you go to the finest restaurant, they'll say, "Do you want waffle fries or home fries with that?" ... When you ask, "Can I substitute salad for the fries?" they say "Sure!" Then when you get your bill, you find they added a $2.50 substitution fee. ... Speaking of fries, every one of my favorite things to eat is a waistline-swelling carb like potatoes, bread, or pasta. Why does good-tasting always equal bad for you? ... If tilapia only tasted... More >>>