AARP

Moose Murders, Classic Broadway Bomb, Is Back

The gold standard in flops, Moose Murders was the 1983 Broadway bad-taste comedy set in a motor lodge, where a blind singer, burn victim, German nurse, twisted Shirley Temple type, incestuous mother, and other loonies converged for parlor games and foul play. AARP magazine ranked it as the fifth wo ... More >>

Billy Crystal: "I Turned Down Toy Story!"

Billy Crystal has a new movie called Parental Guidance, which I'm sure he's happy about, but because of bad management guidance, he's not part of one of the biggest franchises of all time. "I'm the dope who turned down Toy Story," Crystal reveals to AARP the Magazine. "Jeffrey Katzenberg brought m ... More >>

Holiday Guide: Neil Young, John Cale, Bob Dylan and Leonard Cohen Lead the Fogeycore Invasion

The lures and snare of following Rock Gods

I'm Calling Bingo Numbers Tonight!

And I'm not even in a rest home yet!

Diane Keaton: "I've Never Had Plastic Surgery"

So many stars say they haven't had surgery that I actually expect Barbara Walters to come out and say it too. It's the oldest cliche in the book. An older actor--looking remarkably line-free--says, "I haven't had surgery, but I wouldn't rule it out in the future." But I worship Diane Keaton and s ... More >>

Caffè Storico: The Museum of Fine Dining

Venice lends some savor to the New-York Historical Society

My Five Worst Flights Of All Time

I hate flying even when it's smooth -- the combination of terror and tedium really wears me down. But when it ain't smooth, my nerves jangle so loud they drown out Alec Baldwin playing games on his cell phone in the next row. While I inhale a whip-it to relax, let me tell you my five worst flights ... More >>

Places Where You Can Feel Younger

​My whole life, I was always the young one. I was the youngest (and in fact only) one in my family. The youngest one in school. The new kid at work.

Even Senior Citizens Aren't Safe From Food TV

​Once you've run out of shameless narcissists and psychologically unstable megalomaniacs to exploit for the purposes of televised entertainment, where do you turn? To the elderly, of course.

Guess What Stories I've Been Pitched This Week?

​Think the life of a columnist/blogger is nothing but glamour and gift bags? Well, it is--sort of--but it also involves sifting through the piles of angsty promotional emails begging for my attention. Here are the pitches that have passed by my technology in the last week alone. You decide ... More >>

Graydon Carter Is Maybe Sort of Sniffing Around Elaine's

Dan LaceyGraydon Carter, with pancake and fiddle.​Today in time-killing speculation: Graydon Carter is or was possibly, maybe interested in taking over Elaine's.

The 20 Worst Songs of 2010, #4: Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, "Don't Pull Me Over"

F2K10 is a countdown of the 20 worst songs of 2010. Track our progress here. ​Here is the moment where Jeff Lynne finally captures the hard-earned title of "second worst Wilbury."

THAT’S ENTERTAINMENT

Paul Weller plays the Apollo

Killer Instincts, Bad Knees

Helen Mirren will cut you, and other awesome old-people things, in Red

Scientist Attempts to Debunk Cougars; Cougars Fight Back Via Sex With Younger Men

​Back in June (God, weren't we young then?), we wrote of a study in Psychology Today that said, basically cougars -- i.e., "older" women, older being 27 through 45, broadly -- are totally about getting it on because of their "diminishing fertility." At the end of their ropes, so to speak, the ... More >>

In Praise of Andrew V. McLaglen and His Washed-Up A-List Casts

Free Tax Preparation and Online Filing

​If you make less than $58,000/yr, the city has set up a site where you can file online for free here. If you make under $42,000/yr, call the Volunteer Income Tax Assistance Program at 1 (800) 829-1040 to find an assistance site where they'll help you prepare your return. If you're over 60 ... More >>

Holiday Music Roundup '09

Weird Christmas records: They're not just for Dylan anymore

Your Mama's Locks

What's with the crazy colores?

Tea Partiers Invade Congress

​Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, who has famously called for "armed and dangerous" protests against the Democratic government (which she fears will create "re-education camps for young people"), is presently leading thousands of supporters to yell at Congress from its lawn. She refers to this ... More >>

"Musto's Door Dispute"

Geezers Jump from Commie AARP to Patriotic ASA -- Driven by Health Care, or Incoming Hippie Seniors?

​The American Association of Retired Persons finds itself in a bind. CBS News says thousands of angry geezers are quitting the AARP over the Obama healthcare plan -- even though the AARP has not officially endorsed the plan. "I feel they're supporting it through the backdoor," says one former ... More >>

When Parents Won't Let You Grow Up

​What do you do when I--I mean you--have a parent who stubbornly refuses to treat you like an adult, even though you're practically of AARP age? How do you react when--though you're so old you can remember the Dead Sea when it was just sick--my mama, I mean your mama, says stuff like "Did you ... More >>

Golden Girls Moving To One More Lanai

In the future, there will be Cher, cockroaches, and The Golden Girls. The beloved '80s sitcom about four cantankerous and slutty but lovable old broads has played so long on Lifetime that I've gotten my AARP card along with the characters. And now I've been informed that they're moving to the Hall ... More >>

Photos: Fiasco at the Old Stone House

Roger Kimball, Runnin' Scared Endorse Riots

Live: Tina Turner Celebrates Her 69th Birthday in Newark

Sorry, Pops: NY Firms Fail to Crack Older-Worker Top 25

On First Day of School, Mayor's Ed Policy Gets Spot Exam

YouTube Treasure: The Jacksons Got Nothin' On These Crackers

The NYC Chapter of the Complaints Choir is Here

The Beating Heart of Jazz

Art Blakey: 'You don't have to be a musician to understand jazz. Just be able to feel.'

The Daddy Diaries 2: More Whoring in Pampers!

A schlong day's journey into night

Ay Dios Mio! Golden Globe's Bad Karma

Pete Seeger: The Power of Song

Sign 'O' the Times

A respite from Times Square holiday madness resides at the Rum House piano bar

Pensions: Why All You Whipper-Snappers Are Walking to Work

The Battle of Brooklyn

Bombs Away

The truth about pilots, the pope, pot, and the Nazis' favorite dwarfs

From Security to Risk in One Easy Bush Plan

President trades American promise for a Wall Street gamble

Conversation Kills

Gray-haired pols keep yammering about Social Security, but it's young people who need to be heard

Petaphilia

The Great American Man-Dog Marriage Panic

The New Graduate

From a 'quarterlife crisis,' a movement is born

It's DéJà Vu All Over Again as Bush and Gore Rerun for Office

Katharine Hepburn, 1907-2003

Woman of Action

Dr. Pusherman

Sports

From the Subprime to the Ridiculous

Mayoral Candidates Huff and Puff on Predatory Lending

Scrap Metal

Masters in Hype

Liddy Dole To Speak at Nonexistent Graduation