Alana Thompson

  • Art

    July 2, 2014

    Jeff Koons Clowns Around the Whitney

    Jeff Koons' monuments to vapidity are now on display at the Whitney.

  • Blogs

    May 15, 2013

    I Regularly Open My Home to Strange Touring Bands... Why?

    The sheriff department's officer was standing on my doorstep, still trembling with excitement. The red and blue lights from the patrol car flashed over his face, which was incredulous at the site of the person who opened the door at three in the morning - me, a middle-aged, gray-haired man in Nick & ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 15, 2013

    Uncle Poodle Is HIV Positive

    In her NON-coming out/coming out speech the other night, Jodie Foster moaned that she's not Honey Boo Boo and therefore didn't need to reveal everything to the world her whole life. But I felt (A) That diminished all the dignified stars who've felt it important to come out and are hardly reality sh ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 8, 2013

    Best Funeral Ever Features Barbecue-Themed Burial for Chili's 'Baby Back Ribs' Jingle Singer

    TLC, the network that introduced America to Honey Boo Boo, has a new special on the air that some might consider DOA. Best Funeral Ever features, uh, highlights from the final good-byes to deceased individuals. Recently, TLC ran an episode of Willie McCoy's tribute at the Golden Gate Funeral Home ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 3, 2013

    The Best Twilight Zone Episode Ever!

    New Year's Eve brought the start of the glorious Twilight Zone marathon on Syfy channel, and I was glued, even though I realized I'd seen every single one of these Rod Serling-created twisty dramas before. Several times. And I have to say I have a new number one. I don't want to go with the same o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 31, 2012

    Ten Things We Should Expect To See In 2013

    As you may know by now, today is the last day of the year. Take advantage of these few hours before midnight to review every 'Best Of 2012' list out there because their timeliness will soon be quelled by the imminent switch in our non-Mayan calendar. Once that clock strikes 12, mankind will turn the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 28, 2012

    Here I Am As Honey Boo Boo!

    You thrilled to me as Angelina Jolie, you blanched when you saw me as Tan Mom. Well, now I'm Honey Boo Boo Child--fixing up one helluva deadly punch--thanks to this enchanting illustration by Julia Minamata.

  • Blogs

    December 28, 2012

    Five Great Do-It-Yourself Things To Do for New Years, NYC

    1. Make a tortilla hat with an indentation on top for salsa, then wear it to a New Years Party. Encourage your best friends to double dip! Really, standing and shivering in Times Square for eight hours without peeing or drinking any alcohol (!) is about the worst way to spend New Years that FiTR c ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 27, 2012

    Top 6 Food Memes of 2012: #LiteraryRestaurants and Guys with Fries

    Everything was a meme this year. Olympic gold winners were not impressed. Capitol Hill got some very mean girls. There was a ridiculously photogenic man and a ridiculously photogenic corgi. Let's not even discuss election season. But food memes had some gems this year too. Check out the six that got ... More >>

  • Columns

    December 26, 2012

    2012: The Year in Review

    From a deranged Dirty Harry to the rise of Honey Boo Boo, it was a long, strange, sad, and silly trip

  • Voice Choices

    December 26, 2012

    F U 2012!

    UCB mocks the year’s worst

  • Blogs

    October 24, 2012

    Halloween Costume Ideas! These Are Good!

    The big day is a-coming next Wednesday, so it's time to start trotting out ideas that will be topical, scary, and wildly amusing. Here are my best suggestions:

  • Blogs

    October 23, 2012

    Major Crisis For Here Comes Honey Boo Boo

    Remember when Kathy Griffin's reality show My Life on the D-List started seeming extra weird because Kathy had clearly arrived at the A-list? To pretend the funny lady was getting shafted everywhere she turned was almost as comically abusrdist as her take on other reality stars. Fortunately, she m ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 22, 2012

    A "Honey Boo Boo" Spinoff For "Chickadee"!

    Honey Boo Boo--the endearingly rambunctious small-town Georgia kid whose hapless hijinx beat the debates' cable ratings--has been such a hit on TLC that they're unsurprisingly planning a spinoff. According to the Enquirer's Mike Walker, Alana's 18-year-old sister Anna--the one who gave birth to the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 30, 2012

    Honey Boo Boo's Pro-Gay Dance Song

    It's the most rollicking 27 seconds of the season, and the message is pretty swell. It has pint-sized wannabe beauty contestant Honey Boo Boo (aka Alana Thompson) declaring "Ain't nothin' wrong with bein' a little gay. Everybody's a little gay." And her pithy little colloquialism been autotuned, p ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 6, 2012

    The Ultimate TV Watching Dilemma

    Tonight is an important, landmark event in American culture. It's a night that will sway minds and change history. It's a crucial evening of essential viewing which no serious American can afford to miss.