The sheriff department's officer was standing on my doorstep, still trembling with excitement. The red and blue lights from the patrol car flashed over his face, which was incredulous at the site of the person who opened the door at three in the morning - me, a middle-aged, gray-haired man in Nick & ... More >>
In her NON-coming out/coming out speech the other night, Jodie Foster moaned that she's not Honey Boo Boo and therefore didn't need to reveal everything to the world her whole life. But I felt (A) That diminished all the dignified stars who've felt it important to come out and are hardly reality sh ... More >>
TLC, the network that introduced America to Honey Boo Boo, has a new special on the air that some might consider DOA. Best Funeral Ever features, uh, highlights from the final good-byes to deceased individuals. Recently, TLC ran an episode of Willie McCoy's tribute at the Golden Gate Funeral Home ... More >>
New Year's Eve brought the start of the glorious Twilight Zone marathon on Syfy channel, and I was glued, even though I realized I'd seen every single one of these Rod Serling-created twisty dramas before. Several times. And I have to say I have a new number one. I don't want to go with the same o ... More >>
As you may know by now, today is the last day of the year. Take advantage of these few hours before midnight to review every 'Best Of 2012' list out there because their timeliness will soon be quelled by the imminent switch in our non-Mayan calendar. Once that clock strikes 12, mankind will turn the ... More >>
You thrilled to me as Angelina Jolie, you blanched when you saw me as Tan Mom. Well, now I'm Honey Boo Boo Child--fixing up one helluva deadly punch--thanks to this enchanting illustration by Julia Minamata.
1. Make a tortilla hat with an indentation on top for salsa, then wear it to a New Years Party. Encourage your best friends to double dip! Really, standing and shivering in Times Square for eight hours without peeing or drinking any alcohol (!) is about the worst way to spend New Years that FiTR c ... More >>
Everything was a meme this year. Olympic gold winners were not impressed. Capitol Hill got some very mean girls. There was a ridiculously photogenic man and a ridiculously photogenic corgi. Let's not even discuss election season. But food memes had some gems this year too. Check out the six that got ... More >>
From a deranged Dirty Harry to the rise of Honey Boo Boo, it was a long, strange, sad, and silly trip
UCB mocks the year’s worst
The big day is a-coming next Wednesday, so it's time to start trotting out ideas that will be topical, scary, and wildly amusing. Here are my best suggestions:
Remember when Kathy Griffin's reality show My Life on the D-List started seeming extra weird because Kathy had clearly arrived at the A-list? To pretend the funny lady was getting shafted everywhere she turned was almost as comically abusrdist as her take on other reality stars. Fortunately, she m ... More >>
Honey Boo Boo--the endearingly rambunctious small-town Georgia kid whose hapless hijinx beat the debates' cable ratings--has been such a hit on TLC that they're unsurprisingly planning a spinoff. According to the Enquirer's Mike Walker, Alana's 18-year-old sister Anna--the one who gave birth to the ... More >>
It's the most rollicking 27 seconds of the season, and the message is pretty swell. It has pint-sized wannabe beauty contestant Honey Boo Boo (aka Alana Thompson) declaring "Ain't nothin' wrong with bein' a little gay. Everybody's a little gay." And her pithy little colloquialism been autotuned, p ... More >>
Tonight is an important, landmark event in American culture. It's a night that will sway minds and change history. It's a crucial evening of essential viewing which no serious American can afford to miss.