Beauty Pageants

  • Blogs

    September 15, 2014

    Miss America Was in an Abusive Relationship, and She Wants to Talk About It

    Most years, the Miss America pageant is good for just three things: ridicule, outrage, and jingoistic state pride. It was all true again this year (and speaking of the latter, BOW DOWN, OTHER STATES, BECAUSE IT'S MISS NEW YORK FOR THE THREEPEAT!!!) But this year, it might also be good for somethin ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 16, 2013

    Fox Host Todd Starnes Outraged That Indian-American Nina Davuluri Won Miss America

    The Miss America pageant is not known for being especially thoughtful (the first question asked in the interview segment this year was about twerking, the second question about sexting, the third about Syria). The judges seem unusually prescient this year though, with their decision to award the ti ... More >>

  • Voice Choices

    August 14, 2013


    Find out who's the 
fairest Miss Lez in NYC

  • Film

    October 31, 2012
  • Blogs

    March 27, 2012

    Miss Universe Boots Transsexual! They Need To Change Their Rules!

    Beauty pageants condone all sorts of surgeries. In fact, sometimes they'll even pay for them. Remember when Miss USA footed the bill for Miss California's breast implants? But the Miss Universe pageant is strict about their contestants not having had sexual reassignment surgery, like Miss Univers ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 23, 2012

    And The New Miss'd America Is...

    Sabel Scities, the Portland-born dazzler who regularly plays at Stonewall and other NYC clubs! Miss'd America is the annual Atlantic City beauty pageant that has become way more enjoyable than tired, old Miss America. (The latter has gals dressed weirdly like hos as they perform classical music an ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 7, 2011

    Miss USA 2010 Rima Fakih Said to Like Champagne...While Driving

    Celebration?​ Rima Fakih, winner of the 2010 Miss USA beauty pageant, has been arrested on charges of doing something rather ugly -- drunk driving.

  • Voice Choices

    November 9, 2011
  • Blogs

    June 19, 2011

    Amber Marie Collins, a.k.a. Miss New York USA: Is She For Real?

    via​ Meet Amber Marie Collins. The 26-year-old is a graduate of NYU, she's a pre-school teacher, and she is New York's representative in the Miss USA pageant, which concludes tonight. She is also working it.

  • Blogs

    April 20, 2011

    Carrie Prejean Update! Another Lawsuit!

    ​Remember the Miss USA runner-up Carrie Prejean, who bible thumped her way to an anti-gay marriage stance, which seemed strange considering she had gotten biblical with herself for various photos and videos that seemed extremely unholy when they surfaced for the frothing masses? Carrie was pr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 31, 2011

    Today in El Diario: Miss DR Calls Miss Universe Pageant Corrupt

    ​Former beauty queen speaks out A finalist of the Miss Dominican Republic beauty pageant is demanding an investigation of the contest, after rumors began circulating that the winner paid $100,000 for the crown, the Spanish-language daily reports.  "I want to know the truth. I want justice," ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 25, 2010

    "Freedom of Speech" Doesn't Factor Into The Juan Williams Firing

    ​As you know, Juan Williams was recently fired by NPR for saying (among other things) on Fox TV that he gets scared when he sees Muslims on a flight he's on. "But what about freedom of speech?" shout the right-wing naysayers--the type that usally don't believe in freedom of speech at all. Bu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 17, 2010

    Liberal Beauty Contestant Wins Miss USA

    ​Last night's Miss USA pageant obviously picked up some pointers from last year's contest, when they wisely only made Carrie Prejean a runner-up. Had the moralizing strumpet won the top prize, she would have disgraced the entire organization with the nudie photos surfacing by the Scores--I me ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 11, 2010

    Tiger Woods May Get Back in the Game in Two Weeks: Post

    ​It took years -- including 18 months in prison -- before disgraced Olympic runner Marion Jones returned to sports as a member of the WNBA's Tulsa Shock. But Tiger Woods may be on a faster track: He's hired former Bush press secretary Ari Fleischer -- who also worked with semi-disgraced ballpl ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 13, 2009

    Olbermann and I Discuss Prejean's Latest Hijinx

    In an already legendary fit, Carrie Prejean took her mic off and waltzed off the set on Larry King Live the other night, upset about Larry's questioning and the fact that he was allowing call-ins whereas she'd supposedly made a deal forbidding that to happen.

  • Blogs

    November 12, 2009

    Bad News For Carrie Prejean

    ​The new I'm-a-victim book by dethroned beauty queen Carrie Prejean might play well in the hinterlands (though it was ranked #595 on Amazon last time I looked), but In New York it's not exactly getting a royal treatment. In fact, I dropped by the Lincoln Center area Barnes & Noble yesterday t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 11, 2009

    A Sale of Four Titties

    ​It was a big week for sex tapes, Carrie Prejean coming clean about her solo video done when she was a mere teen, for a boyfriend's delectation, and Jennifer Lopez managing to nab a temporary restraining order against her first husband's pesky attempts to market their honeymoon fooling-around ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 21, 2009

    Olbermann and I Discuss Balloon Boy...

    ...and balloon girl Carrie Prejean, ba dum pum! Yes, in a riveting, panoramic segment on MSNBC's Countdown With Keith Olbermann last night, we talked about that zany little balloon boy and why his dad once commissioned TV theme songs that sound like the Beverly Hillbillies tune on extra mooonshin ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 20, 2009

    Carrie Prejean is Countersued

    ​Remember when dethroned Miss California Carrie Prejean sued the pageant organization for all kinds of not-very-pretty slander and discrimination issues? Well, nyah, nyah, nyah, they're suing her back! They say the tiara-challenged beauty's suit was merely a cheesy attempt to "extend her noto ... More >>

  • Film

    September 29, 2009

    Do Knot Disturb: A Histrionic, Sexless Bedroom Farce

    (If you don't know what an item number is, then trust me, this one's probably not for you.)

  • Blogs

    September 18, 2009

    Carrie Prejean at Values Voters: God Has "Bigger Crown for Me in Heaven" Than Trump Does

    ​The Values Voters Summit -- held in liberal D.C. rather than in Branson, Missouri, for some reason -- kicked off this morning, and has already heard from former Miss California Carrie Prejean, whose remarks are characterized by a sympathetic Dakota Voice: "She said she was raised by parents w ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 17, 2009

    I Dished Sarah Palin With Olbermann

    It's lovely to go on TV and rag on someone besides Carrie Prejean for a change. So last night, I appeared on Countdown With Keith Olbermann to discuss the wacky hype behind Sarah Palin's lucrative public appearances--the ones she stepped down from her silly little gubernatorial post to cash in on ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 15, 2009

    Big Conservative Event to Take Place on Rosh Hashanah

    ​Last week venerable conservative Norman Podhoretz wondered why Jews in America were "misguidedly loyal" to liberalism, when conservatism was so welcoming to the Chosen People. This led to endless debates and a pleasing irony: the arch-conservative Family Research Council, which also likes to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 2, 2009

    Voice's Michael Musto, Dan Savage on Keith Olbermann

    Anti-gay-marriage Miss California Carrie Prejean is suing her former pageant employers for discrimination and other high crimes and misdemeanors. Among the parties named in her filing are Keith Olbermann and Michael Musto, because they were mean to her on TV, so naturally Olbermann had Musto on th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 17, 2009

    I End an Old Feud and Start a New One

    A young gentleman approached me at Pieces bar the other night and we had a nice chat. It turned out he was Drago, the doorman at the bar XES, who famously denied me admission because I didn't have ID. Crazy or just doing his job with an exacting attention to detail? The latter, I'm so sure, and he w ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 29, 2009

    What's Your Favorite Perez Hilton Scandal?

    All in just the last few months, my spiritual godchild Perez Hilton landed in three massive controversies that have made him way more interesting a gossip subject than the people he blogs about. So what's your fave Perez scandal: *His asking Miss USA contestant Carrie Prejean about gay marriage, t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 25, 2009

    Marilyn Monroe and Studies in Crap Unite to Contemplate Cleavage and Toast Miss America, 1953

    Each Thursday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from basements, thrift stores, estate sales and flea markets. I do this for one reason: Knowledge is power. Miss America Pageant Official Year Book Date: 1952 Discovered at: Antique mall The C ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 12, 2009

    Did Carrie Prejean's Firing Get Me Fired Up On Olbermann?

    Last night, I went on Countdown With Keith Olbermann to discuss Carrie Prejean's dethroning, but don't believe the headline someone put on YouTube ("Musto Lament's Carrie Prejean's Firing.."). The truth is, while I DID point out Donald Trump's hypocrisies in suddenly turning against Carrie, I said ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 10, 2009

    Trump to Carrie Prejean: You're Fired! Gay Marriage Opponent Out as Miss California

    Last month Donald Trump refused to fire Miss California USA Carrie Prejean when her old topless shots were revealed. The Miss USA contestant had rocketed to fame when she revealed herself to be against gay marriage under pageant questioning by Perez Hilton and was subsequently not elected to Miss US ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 10, 2009

    Carrie Prejean Finally Dethroned!

    Donald Trump had backed up dim-witted Carrie Prejean's right to retain her Miss California crown, but he just backtracked and said, "Off with it now!" And why? Because she's anti gay? Because she broke her contract and made appearances outside the pageant's approval? Because the wind blew open her b ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 3, 2009

    Joan Rivers Lets It Rip

    Veteran funny lady Joan Rivers gave me an earful the other day, and I've carefully transcribed it all for you in this week's riotous column. (CLICK HERE). Here's what Joan had to say about Miss California, the bible-toting Carrie Prejean: "Just shut up. You got your new breasts--smile and shut the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 22, 2009

    Prejean's Mom Had Same-Sex Relationship?

    Miss California, Carrie Prejean, is exclusively in favor of "opposite" marriage, but her mother apparently has nothing against same-sex liaisons. A woman has told that she had a lesbo affair with the beauty queen's mom! And now, poor Carrie will have to call up her mama and say, "Um, I ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 14, 2009

    Why Carrie Prejean's Bible Thumping Won't Wash

    Miss California Carrie Prejean has referenced the bible in dispensing her anti-gay sentiments, as if she has a direct pipeline to a greater deity and knows for a fact that he/she wants gays to be deprived of equal rights. This approach is always a sanctimonious way to spray air freshener on a pile ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 12, 2009

    Breaking! Carrie Prejean Keeps Crown, Says Trump

    Praise Jesus! Donald Trump will let Miss California Carrie Prejean keep her crown. He says the topless shots of her are "fine," reports the Tucson Citizen; we maintain that they don't show enough of her breasts, and that she should arch her back more. Trump, who runs the Miss USA franchise, also was ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 12, 2009

    Is Obama Any Better Than Carrie Prejean?

    Luke VargasMy frequent skewering of Miss California, Carrie Prejean, for her inarticulate narrow mindedness has garned lots of debate, but one argument rises from the muck and rings kind of true: "Obama's against gay marriage too, dumbass!" Yes, I happen to know that, and in one of my recent TV app ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 6, 2009

    I Defended Carrie Prejean On TV Last Night!

    I said she shouldn't be dethroned as Miss California. First of all, the pageant paid for her implants. Would it not be the height of weirdness to penalize her for having taken a semi-nude shot? Also, Vanessa Williams's Miss America tiara was famously ripped off, and she showed them all by becoming a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 29, 2009

    Beauty Pageant Winner Out for Nude "Shots"

    More beauty pageant controversy: Ryan Oliver (pictured), the newly-elected Mr. Panama (one of the more coveted men's beauty pageants titles in this our gay world), has been stripped of his crown. The Sword reports that Oliver was dethroned for posing for porno stills -- and we don't mean Abercrombie ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 27, 2009

    Rightbloggers Protest the Incivility of Their Gay Treasonous Douchebag Opposition

    Last week Michelle Malkin wrote a column, which she also published at her site, called "$%^&*!!: Civility and tolerance in the Age of Obama." Her theme was that liberals were uncivil and intolerant; also, mean and profane. Her primary example was the comments of gossip blogger Perez Hilton, not ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 22, 2009

    Broadway Beauties Battle For Cutie Crown

    Unlike Miss USA, the Broadway Beauty Pageant--a benefit for the Ali Forney Center, hosted by Tovah Feldshuh--didn't attract anyone who felt gay marriage was a bad idea. Even the token straight contestant--a hottie from Billy Elliot--said he's always supported the gays and added that the longest gay ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 20, 2009

    Anti-Gay-Marriage Girl Loses Pageant; Rightbloggers Cry Fix!

    Get ready for the new rightwing meme: that Miss North Carolina won the Miss USA pageant because of the velvet mafia. Miss California, Carrie Prejean, was asked by judge Perez Hilton (!) what she thought of gay marriage, and Prejean responded, "I think that I believe that a marriage should be between ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 23, 2009

    Gersh Kuntzman Pumps for Miss NY, Calls Miss NJ "Not Attactive"

    Gersh Kuntzman -- actually one of our favorite newsmen, and the SNA's 2008 Editor of the Year -- has taken a strong stand in his Brooklyn Paper for our state's representative to the 2009 Miss America pageant, Leigh-Taylor Smith. That's understandable -- Smith's a former Miss Brooklyn. But Kuntzman's ... More >>

  • Theater

    July 2, 2008
  • Voice Choices

    April 22, 2008


    Beauty is the beast

  • Blogs

    May 11, 2007
  • Columns

    March 20, 2007

    Network Encore? I'm Glad as Hell.

    We interrupt regular programming to take you back to 1976's darkly comic masterpiece.

  • Film

    July 18, 2006

    Ain't No Sunshine

    A "What's Wrong With America" indie comedy reveals what's wrong with indie comedies

  • NYC Life

    April 5, 2005
  • NYC Life

    February 22, 2005
  • News

    August 28, 2001

    Survival of the Fiercest

    Five New York Girls Strive for Drag Divinity at the Miss Continental Pageant

  • Film

    September 28, 1999

    They Have Many Straight Friends

    Putting on gay drag for fun and profit

  • More >>