Bristol Palin

Bring It On: The Musical! My Review

Four Tony winners have collaborated on a show that's so light it's almost as if Picasso got to work on an Etch-A-Sketch. It's a loose adaptation of the 2000 film Bring It On, the white school/black school cheerleading comedy, though the plot has been dramatically changed and the whole thing has bee ... More >>

Leave It to Palin to Brighten Up Your Saturday with Dogs and Cocaine

It's been almost four years since Sarah Palin made her way onto the national stage at the Republican National Convention. But, since the defeat of her and McCain in the election, we have been gifted with the constant recurrences of the Alaskan personality. Yes, we DVR'ed Game Change, too.At fir ... More >>

Meryl Won't Win, and Other Surefire Oscar Predictions

This is the only ballot you'll need at your viewing party

Levi Johnston Got A Lucrative Masturbation Offer

​In his new book, Levi Johnston reveals that on the heels of his Playgirl spread--which was shocking, mainly because he didn't go full frontal--his people got a letter from the Corbin Fisher porn studio offering $100,000 if he'd shoot three masturbation scenes. "I was trying to understand how ... More >>

Levi Johnston and I Spent Quality Time In Times Square Last Night

​Last night's Times Square Social--a cash-bar networking event for LGBTs, held at Dave & Buster's--was extra surreal considering that two tables down from my book signing perch was none other than Levi Johnston. You know, Bristol Palin's former dancing partner, the guy who's currently competi ... More >>

Fuck You, Dancing With The Stars!

​The show is including Chaz Bono, which is a welcome addition of a transgender person to the ballroom. But will they ever incorporate a same-sex couple already? The show came closest to actualizing a gay duo just moments ago, when they considered putting Carson Kressley with a man. But they ... More >>

Bristol Palin Goes Scorched Earth On Levi Johnston in New Memoir

​Bristol Palin's memoir, Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far, will hit stores next week. On the evidence so far, the thing seems to consist mainly of balls-out venom directed at baby daddy Levi Johnston. Johnston is "the gnat named Levi Johnston constantly spreading false accusations against our ... More >>

Freddy Caldwell Threatens to Blow Up TV Network Over Two and a Half Men Reruns

​There's reasonable, and there's justifiable, and there's stuff you shouldn't do at all except you might understand why a person would, you know, just a little bit. Such is the situation of the man who just couldn't take watching Bristol Palin dancing around on the TV one more minute and, so, ... More >>

Trig Palin Is Sarah Palin's Son: Birther Conspiracy Is Bullshit

​We'd rather just not write about Sarah Palin. Occasionally, though, the media angle on the frustratingly evil ex-politician is too good to ignore, like yesterday when her rabid supporters joined forces with reasonable people to condemn and ultimately cream the political blog Wonkette for thei ... More >>

Bristol Palin's Book Is Happening

​A while back we mentioned that Bristol Palin might be writing a book. We got really excited -- 20-year-olds totally write the best memoirs -- until Amazon abruptly pulled the book listing. Now William Morrow, Palin's publisher, has announced that Bristol's book Not Afraid of Life, double ente ... More >>

Bristol Palin Memoir Is Allegedly Happening; Derrick Oaks Is Your New Subway Hero; 40 States Are Freezing

​• Bristol Palin, 20-year-old daughter of Sarah Palin and no longer teen mom (or Dancing With the Stars contender), has a memoir in the works. Of course she does! It's apparently 304 pages and currently titled "Untitled Bristol Palin Memoir," according to Amazon, where forums are busy discus ... More >>

Q&A: Phil and the Osophers' Drummer Kevin Estrada on His Wheel of Fortune Appearance

"Vanna White came into the green room in sweats, without any make-up, eating a piece of cake, and asked if anyone thought it was fair Brandy was eliminated from Dancing with the Stars while Bristol Palin remained." Phil and the Osophers' Kevin Estrada on Wheel! Of! Fortoooouuuune! Around these par ... More >>

Bristol Palin Did Not Call Sarah Palin "Lame" on Twitter, Unfortunately

​A mysteriously inflammatory tweet appeared yesterday by @Bristol_Palin criticizing Sarah Palin's Twitter use. Unfortunately the real Bristol Palin does not use Twitter, as evidenced by the fact that if Bristol Palin really wrote that, it would already be deleted and she would be on Fox News d ... More >>

Michael Musto's Year in Review

Social and economic turmoil? Don't ask. At least we had Lady Gaga to tell us what to do.

Lady Gaga Is Our Real Leader

​CLICK HERE for my hilarious and insightful essay summing up the wacky year of 2010, which proved that Barack Obama isn't our country's real leader after all, it's actually a zingy little lady known as Lady Gaga. She's just done so much--and worn so much--that her tweets seem to carry more we ... More >>

I'm "Pithy, Scintillating, and Fearless"

​That's according to Jesse Archer's rollicking interview with me on 60 by 80. Check it out and you'll learn even more about my esteemed self than I know. Things like:

Bristol Palin Semi-Apologizes for Willow's Homophobic and Illiterate Slurs

​In a new twist on a fiery Facebook drama, abstinence-loving Bristol Palin has stepped in to apologize for her sister Willow Palin having called a guy who'd derided mama's Alaska show an f-word. But her apology is even more half-hearted than her sexual politics. First off, she doesn't apolog ... More >>

Bristol Palin's "Forbidden Dance" Incites Man to Pump TV Full of Lead

​We were just talking about how God-awful bad Bristol Palin's dancing skills are! (The only thing debatably worse might be her PSA-making skills.) A Wisconsin man, apparently, agrees. Via TMZ, 67-year-old Steven Cowan was "so enraged with Bristol Palin's performance on Dancing with the Stars" ... More >>

Bristol Palin and the Situation Star in Most Cringeworthy PSA in Human History

There are many, many problems with this pro-abstinence and, yet, also pro-condom public service announcement, for which we can thank the Situation, Bristol Palin, the Americans who watch Dancing With the Stars, the Candie's Foundation, and the devil. This is precisely the sort of televised experienc ... More >>

Bristol Palin Didn't Vote, But Totally Supports the Democratic Process and Stuff

​Oooh, busted. Bristol Palin, she of the beyoootiful dresses and fancy dance moves with which to amuse the pallid people of America via primetime television on the extravaganza of schlock that is Dancing With the Stars, has admitted to Inside Edition that she didn't even find the time to send ... More >>

ELECTION FEVER

The elephant in the theater

FUNNY OR CRY

Is it possible to get a laughing hernia?

Morning Links: Stabbed Muslim Cabbie Glad to Be New Yorker; Levi Johnston Says He's Actually Not Sorry to Sarah Palin

​• The Muslim cabbie stabbed by a passenger says he's still glad to be a New Yorker: "I feel like I belong here," he said. "This is the city actually [for] all colors, races, religion, everyone. We live here side by side peacefully." Meanwhile, friends of accused stabber Michael Enright say ... More >>

Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston as Over as That Mangled Old Copy of Us Weekly

​Alas! Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston have called things off "for good," begging such questions as, what do you do with the Us Weekly cover in which you announced your engagement to the world when everything goes south again with your Baby Daddy (who isn't just your Baby Daddy but also the al ... More >>

The Sick Saga of Levi and Bristol

​As you know, Alaska's sweethearts Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin have reunited and were sensible enough to tell Us Weekly about it before informing ma, Sarah Palin. If you're in need of a capsule summary of their wretched affair so far: Levi knocked Bristol up and Sarah had to spray air fr ... More >>

Will Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston Make It? We Calculate the Odds

​Since, as Us Weekly informed us all (including, apparently, Sarah Palin) yesterday, Levi Johnson has finally offered to make an honest woman of Bristol Palin -- and Bristol has accepted! -- we're been wondering: How does Levi's proposal fare in light of all of the impressive proposal efforts ... More >>

The Sarah Palin Family Memorial Day Movie Marathon, Courtesy of Joe McGinniss

​When writing a book on something, or more importantly someone, an intimate knowledge of the subject matter is a basic necessity. For Joe McGinniss, who's working on his Sarah Palin's Year of Living Dangerously due in the fall of 2011, proximity seemed key, too, so he moved in next door the fo ... More >>

Sarah Palin's Expected Facebook Response to Family Guy Guest-Stars Bristol Palin

Keeping to her program, Fix commentator Sarah Palin used Facebook again today to complain of a joke on the Fox cartoon Family Guy, in which son Chris dates a well-spoken but fussy young woman with Down Syndrome who reveals her mother to be "the former governor of Alaska." For variety, Palin enli ... More >>

Bristol Palin: Quote of the Day

"I'm not going to have sex until I'm married. I can guarantee it." -- Candie's Foundation Teen Abstinence Ambassador Bristol Palin, to InTouch magazine. Palin, unwed mother of Tripp Palin, works at a doctor's office while attending college. She is 19.

Levi Bares All in My Exclusive Interview!

PlayGirl.com​Kindly CLICK HERE and read the new column, in which scandal star Levi Johnston sits down with me in his perfectly nice hotel lobby and talks about all kinds of genital-related things Sarah Palin can only dream about.

Levi Johnston Bares All in Exclusive Interview!

Palin the 'big backstabber,' he says. Plus: Don't ask, do tell.

EXCLUSIVE: 6 Hot Excerpts from Sarah Palin's Going Rogue!

​It's the hottest of hot news -- Sarah Palin's book Going Rogue: An American Life and the accompanying tour. There've been some teasers, but our contacts in the publishing industry have leaked us six choice excerpts, which we reproduce for you here: 1. On accepting the Vice-Presidential nomin ... More >>

Joan Rivers Loved Being Roasted

​I went to a party last night at Joan Rivers's three-floor East Side palace (Melissa has the lower floor), which is elegant and gorgeous and currently for sale. The bash was for Joan's TV Land show, How'd You Get So Rich?, but I also wanted to know about her already legendary Comedy Central r ... More >>

Why Sarah Palin Stepped Down

Our favorite punching bag--four-eyed, two-chromosomed Sarah Palin--weirdly resigned as Governor of Alaska the other day, and her reasons seemed so sketchy that left-wingers started immediately wondering just what hideous scandal is about to hit the freezing fan. Did she club a baby seal? Is she fi ... More >>

Letterman, Palin, and How the Right Went PC

The phrase "politically correct" has been knocking around for decades. Its wikipedia entry shows the continuing argument over its origins. But the term is best known to normal people by its opposite: politically incorrect. This is generally applied to something that you might want to say -- usual ... More >>

More Palin Extended Family Values Hypocrisy

Last week, TV starlet Hayden Panettiere showed up with poor, downtrodden single mother Bristol Palin to help promote the illogical premise that teens shouldn't have sex and everything will be fine. This campaign is not only hypocritical ("Do as I say, not as I do"), but it's downright useless and it ... More >>

Cheek, In Review: 7 Days of Runnin' Scared

Yeah, we finally made it to Citi Field Wednesday. What do we think? We think Johan Santana is awesome. Swine Flu fucked up Cinco de Mayo, continued to be funny until we got it. Wait, actually it's still pretty funny, especially since we really didn't get swine flu. But even if! Anyway Raccoon ... More >>

The Week in Twisted Family Values

Miss California, Carrie Prejean, was revealed to have done semi-nude photos, which added to the bizarreness of her rabid anti-gay-marriage stance. Here's a fake-titted ex-stripping "model" who gets on a high horse and preaches "opposite" marriage. I still feel Prejean shouldn't be dethroned, though. ... More >>

Bristol Palin Becomes Abstinence Spokesperson

Bristol Palin has reemerged as a spokesperson for abstinence. The famously knocked-up daughter of GOP Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin said on today's Good Morning America that "regardless of what I did personally, I just think that abstinence is the only way that you can effectively, 100 pe ... More >>

Sarah Palin's Latest Fiery Showdown

On the April 6 Tyra, the guest is Levi Johnston, the hapless guy who impregnated Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol, but who at least got lucky enough to not go through with the whole thing. Well, Palin is spitting mad that Levi has gone public with his views, and her official response, through a fam ... More >>

Meet the Littlest City Council Candidate

Meet Dodge Landesman, who at eighteen is challenging Rosie Mendez for the city council seat in District 2. "I may be the youngest city council candidate in New York City history," he says, "but I want to transform our political system so it can involve New Yorkers of every generation." (Don't they t ... More >>

Quick Hits

Our favorite New York paper has made a haunting short film from surveillance camera footage of a kid casing, then tagging up a Staten Island deli. The perp is thought to have hit a local tire shop as well. Frank Miller's Peanuts. GOP Fight Club: Top Republicans are beating up new RNC chairman ... More >>

Bristol Palin Has Her Baby; Wedding Suggested

Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol had a 7 lb., 7 oz., baby boy on Sunday, whom she and her boyfriend have named Tripp. To celebrate, some rightbloggers are pushing the happy couple to get married pronto. "What's up with this 'baby first, marriage later' thing?" asks Robert Stacy McCain. "What's wrong w ... More >>

Bristol Palin's Future Mom-In-Law Busted for Drugs

What We Learned about the Election in This Summer's Movies

From the multiplex to the stump: It's caped crusader versus community organizer, and the end is nigh

Flipping The Ticket: Palin Becomes Rightbloggers' Hero/Victim

Daily Flog: Alaska or bust; GOP fights off depression; shrinking lobsters

Rudy Wasn't Always This Nice to Families in Trouble

Daily Flog: Birth of a notion opens in St. Paul; oil price plummets, along with GOP veep's rep; everybody's Google-eyed