Bristol Palin

  • Blogs

    August 1, 2012

    Bring It On: The Musical! My Review

    Four Tony winners have collaborated on a show that's so light it's almost as if Picasso got to work on an Etch-A-Sketch. It's a loose adaptation of the 2000 film Bring It On, the white school/black school cheerleading comedy, though the plot has been dramatically changed and the whole thing has bee ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 16, 2012

    Leave It to Palin to Brighten Up Your Saturday with Dogs and Cocaine

    It's been almost four years since Sarah Palin made her way onto the national stage at the Republican National Convention. But, since the defeat of her and McCain in the election, we have been gifted with the constant recurrences of the Alaskan personality. Yes, we DVR'ed Game Change, too.At fir ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2011

    Levi Johnston Got A Lucrative Masturbation Offer

    ​In his new book, Levi Johnston reveals that on the heels of his Playgirl spread--which was shocking, mainly because he didn't go full frontal--his people got a letter from the Corbin Fisher porn studio offering $100,000 if he'd shoot three masturbation scenes. "I was trying to understand how ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 22, 2011

    Levi Johnston and I Spent Quality Time In Times Square Last Night

    ​Last night's Times Square Social--a cash-bar networking event for LGBTs, held at Dave & Buster's--was extra surreal considering that two tables down from my book signing perch was none other than Levi Johnston. You know, Bristol Palin's former dancing partner, the guy who's currently competi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 6, 2011

    Fuck You, Dancing With The Stars!

    ​The show is including Chaz Bono, which is a welcome addition of a transgender person to the ballroom. But will they ever incorporate a same-sex couple already? The show came closest to actualizing a gay duo just moments ago, when they considered putting Carson Kressley with a man. But they ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 18, 2011

    Bristol Palin Goes Scorched Earth On Levi Johnston in New Memoir

    ​Bristol Palin's memoir, Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far, will hit stores next week. On the evidence so far, the thing seems to consist mainly of balls-out venom directed at baby daddy Levi Johnston. Johnston is "the gnat named Levi Johnston constantly spreading false accusations against our ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 31, 2011

    Freddy Caldwell Threatens to Blow Up TV Network Over Two and a Half Men Reruns

    ​There's reasonable, and there's justifiable, and there's stuff you shouldn't do at all except you might understand why a person would, you know, just a little bit. Such is the situation of the man who just couldn't take watching Bristol Palin dancing around on the TV one more minute and, so, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 22, 2011

    Trig Palin Is Sarah Palin's Son: Birther Conspiracy Is Bullshit

    ​We'd rather just not write about Sarah Palin. Occasionally, though, the media angle on the frustratingly evil ex-politician is too good to ignore, like yesterday when her rabid supporters joined forces with reasonable people to condemn and ultimately cream the political blog Wonkette for thei ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 1, 2011

    Bristol Palin's Book Is Happening

    ​A while back we mentioned that Bristol Palin might be writing a book. We got really excited -- 20-year-olds totally write the best memoirs -- until Amazon abruptly pulled the book listing. Now William Morrow, Palin's publisher, has announced that Bristol's book Not Afraid of Life, double ente ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 8, 2011

    Bristol Palin Memoir Is Allegedly Happening; Derrick Oaks Is Your New Subway Hero; 40 States Are Freezing

    ​• Bristol Palin, 20-year-old daughter of Sarah Palin and no longer teen mom (or Dancing With the Stars contender), has a memoir in the works. Of course she does! It's apparently 304 pages and currently titled "Untitled Bristol Palin Memoir," according to Amazon, where forums are busy discus ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 19, 2011

    Q&A: Phil and the Osophers' Drummer Kevin Estrada on His Wheel of Fortune Appearance

    "Vanna White came into the green room in sweats, without any make-up, eating a piece of cake, and asked if anyone thought it was fair Brandy was eliminated from Dancing with the Stars while Bristol Palin remained." Phil and the Osophers' Kevin Estrada on Wheel! Of! Fortoooouuuune! Around these par ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 10, 2011

    Bristol Palin Did Not Call Sarah Palin "Lame" on Twitter, Unfortunately

    ​A mysteriously inflammatory tweet appeared yesterday by @Bristol_Palin criticizing Sarah Palin's Twitter use. Unfortunately the real Bristol Palin does not use Twitter, as evidenced by the fact that if Bristol Palin really wrote that, it would already be deleted and she would be on Fox News d ... More >>

  • News

    December 29, 2010

    Michael Musto's Year in Review

    Social and economic turmoil? Don't ask. At least we had Lady Gaga to tell us what to do.

  • Blogs

    December 29, 2010

    Lady Gaga Is Our Real Leader

    ​CLICK HERE for my hilarious and insightful essay summing up the wacky year of 2010, which proved that Barack Obama isn't our country's real leader after all, it's actually a zingy little lady known as Lady Gaga. She's just done so much--and worn so much--that her tweets seem to carry more we ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 19, 2010

    I'm "Pithy, Scintillating, and Fearless"

    ​That's according to Jesse Archer's rollicking interview with me on 60 by 80. Check it out and you'll learn even more about my esteemed self than I know. Things like:

  • Blogs

    November 18, 2010

    Bristol Palin Semi-Apologizes for Willow's Homophobic and Illiterate Slurs

    ​In a new twist on a fiery Facebook drama, abstinence-loving Bristol Palin has stepped in to apologize for her sister Willow Palin having called a guy who'd derided mama's Alaska show an f-word. But her apology is even more half-hearted than her sexual politics. First off, she doesn't apolog ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 17, 2010

    Bristol Palin's "Forbidden Dance" Incites Man to Pump TV Full of Lead

    ​We were just talking about how God-awful bad Bristol Palin's dancing skills are! (The only thing debatably worse might be her PSA-making skills.) A Wisconsin man, apparently, agrees. Via TMZ, 67-year-old Steven Cowan was "so enraged with Bristol Palin's performance on Dancing with the Stars" ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 16, 2010

    Bristol Palin and the Situation Star in Most Cringeworthy PSA in Human History

    There are many, many problems with this pro-abstinence and, yet, also pro-condom public service announcement, for which we can thank the Situation, Bristol Palin, the Americans who watch Dancing With the Stars, the Candie's Foundation, and the devil. This is precisely the sort of televised experienc ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 3, 2010

    Bristol Palin Didn't Vote, But Totally Supports the Democratic Process and Stuff

    ​Oooh, busted. Bristol Palin, she of the beyoootiful dresses and fancy dance moves with which to amuse the pallid people of America via primetime television on the extravaganza of schlock that is Dancing With the Stars, has admitted to Inside Edition that she didn't even find the time to send ... More >>

  • Voice Choices

    October 20, 2010


    The elephant in the theater

  • Voice Choices

    October 20, 2010


    Is it possible to get a laughing hernia?

  • Blogs

    August 27, 2010

    Morning Links: Stabbed Muslim Cabbie Glad to Be New Yorker; Levi Johnston Says He's Actually Not Sorry to Sarah Palin

    ​• The Muslim cabbie stabbed by a passenger says he's still glad to be a New Yorker: "I feel like I belong here," he said. "This is the city actually [for] all colors, races, religion, everyone. We live here side by side peacefully." Meanwhile, friends of accused stabber Michael Enright say ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 3, 2010

    Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston as Over as That Mangled Old Copy of Us Weekly

    ​Alas! Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston have called things off "for good," begging such questions as, what do you do with the Us Weekly cover in which you announced your engagement to the world when everything goes south again with your Baby Daddy (who isn't just your Baby Daddy but also the al ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 15, 2010

    The Sick Saga of Levi and Bristol

    ​As you know, Alaska's sweethearts Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin have reunited and were sensible enough to tell Us Weekly about it before informing ma, Sarah Palin. If you're in need of a capsule summary of their wretched affair so far: Levi knocked Bristol up and Sarah had to spray air fr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 15, 2010

    Will Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston Make It? We Calculate the Odds

    ​Since, as Us Weekly informed us all (including, apparently, Sarah Palin) yesterday, Levi Johnson has finally offered to make an honest woman of Bristol Palin -- and Bristol has accepted! -- we're been wondering: How does Levi's proposal fare in light of all of the impressive proposal efforts ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 30, 2010

    The Sarah Palin Family Memorial Day Movie Marathon, Courtesy of Joe McGinniss

    ​When writing a book on something, or more importantly someone, an intimate knowledge of the subject matter is a basic necessity. For Joe McGinniss, who's working on his Sarah Palin's Year of Living Dangerously due in the fall of 2011, proximity seemed key, too, so he moved in next door the fo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 16, 2010

    Sarah Palin's Expected Facebook Response to Family Guy Guest-Stars Bristol Palin

    Keeping to her program, Fix commentator Sarah Palin used Facebook again today to complain of a joke on the Fox cartoon Family Guy, in which son Chris dates a well-spoken but fussy young woman with Down Syndrome who reveals her mother to be "the former governor of Alaska." For variety, Palin enli ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 18, 2010

    Bristol Palin: Quote of the Day

    "I'm not going to have sex until I'm married. I can guarantee it." -- Candie's Foundation Teen Abstinence Ambassador Bristol Palin, to InTouch magazine. Palin, unwed mother of Tripp Palin, works at a doctor's office while attending college. She is 19.

  • Blogs

    November 18, 2009

    Levi Bares All in My Exclusive Interview!​Kindly CLICK HERE and read the new column, in which scandal star Levi Johnston sits down with me in his perfectly nice hotel lobby and talks about all kinds of genital-related things Sarah Palin can only dream about.

  • Columns

    November 17, 2009

    Levi Johnston Bares All in Exclusive Interview!

    Palin the 'big backstabber,' he says. Plus: Don't ask, do tell.

  • Blogs

    November 12, 2009

    EXCLUSIVE: 6 Hot Excerpts from Sarah Palin's Going Rogue!

    ​It's the hottest of hot news -- Sarah Palin's book Going Rogue: An American Life and the accompanying tour. There've been some teasers, but our contacts in the publishing industry have leaked us six choice excerpts, which we reproduce for you here: 1. On accepting the Vice-Presidential nomin ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 4, 2009

    Joan Rivers Loved Being Roasted

    ​I went to a party last night at Joan Rivers's three-floor East Side palace (Melissa has the lower floor), which is elegant and gorgeous and currently for sale. The bash was for Joan's TV Land show, How'd You Get So Rich?, but I also wanted to know about her already legendary Comedy Central r ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 6, 2009

    Why Sarah Palin Stepped Down

    Our favorite punching bag--four-eyed, two-chromosomed Sarah Palin--weirdly resigned as Governor of Alaska the other day, and her reasons seemed so sketchy that left-wingers started immediately wondering just what hideous scandal is about to hit the freezing fan. Did she club a baby seal? Is she fi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 15, 2009

    Letterman, Palin, and How the Right Went PC

    The phrase "politically correct" has been knocking around for decades. Its wikipedia entry shows the continuing argument over its origins. But the term is best known to normal people by its opposite: politically incorrect. This is generally applied to something that you might want to say -- usual ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 11, 2009

    More Palin Extended Family Values Hypocrisy

    Last week, TV starlet Hayden Panettiere showed up with poor, downtrodden single mother Bristol Palin to help promote the illogical premise that teens shouldn't have sex and everything will be fine. This campaign is not only hypocritical ("Do as I say, not as I do"), but it's downright useless and it ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 8, 2009

    Cheek, In Review: 7 Days of Runnin' Scared

    Yeah, we finally made it to Citi Field Wednesday. What do we think? We think Johan Santana is awesome. Swine Flu fucked up Cinco de Mayo, continued to be funny until we got it. Wait, actually it's still pretty funny, especially since we really didn't get swine flu. But even if! Anyway Raccoon ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 8, 2009

    The Week in Twisted Family Values

    Miss California, Carrie Prejean, was revealed to have done semi-nude photos, which added to the bizarreness of her rabid anti-gay-marriage stance. Here's a fake-titted ex-stripping "model" who gets on a high horse and preaches "opposite" marriage. I still feel Prejean shouldn't be dethroned, though. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 6, 2009

    Bristol Palin Becomes Abstinence Spokesperson

    Bristol Palin has reemerged as a spokesperson for abstinence. The famously knocked-up daughter of GOP Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin said on today's Good Morning America that "regardless of what I did personally, I just think that abstinence is the only way that you can effectively, 100 pe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 5, 2009

    Sarah Palin's Latest Fiery Showdown

    On the April 6 Tyra, the guest is Levi Johnston, the hapless guy who impregnated Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol, but who at least got lucky enough to not go through with the whole thing. Well, Palin is spitting mad that Levi has gone public with his views, and her official response, through a famil ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 24, 2009

    Meet the Littlest City Council Candidate

    Meet Dodge Landesman, who at eighteen is challenging Rosie Mendez for the city council seat in District 2. "I may be the youngest city council candidate in New York City history," he says, "but I want to transform our political system so it can involve New Yorkers of every generation." (Don't they t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 12, 2009

    Quick Hits

    Our favorite New York paper has made a haunting short film from surveillance camera footage of a kid casing, then tagging up a Staten Island deli. The perp is thought to have hit a local tire shop as well. Frank Miller's Peanuts. GOP Fight Club: Top Republicans are beating up new RNC chairman ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 30, 2008

    Bristol Palin Has Her Baby; Wedding Suggested

    Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol had a 7 lb., 7 oz., baby boy on Sunday, whom she and her boyfriend have named Tripp. To celebrate, some rightbloggers are pushing the happy couple to get married pronto. "What's up with this 'baby first, marriage later' thing?" asks Robert Stacy McCain. "What's wrong w ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 19, 2008

    Bristol Palin's Future Mom-In-Law Busted for Drugs

    It's only six weeks since the campaign ended, but we miss Sarah Palin already. So it's nice to see her future in-laws stepping up with some news. Sherry Johnston, mother of Bristol Palin's impregnator and groom-to-be Levi, has been arrested by the Alaska State Police and charged with "six felony cou ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 23, 2008

    Sarah Palin, Welcome to New York! -- Lynn Yaeger

    Good morning, Governor Palin, and welcome to New York! Extensive research reveals you've only visited our fair city a few times before, including one fun-filled 2007 trip with Bristol paid for by the Alaska taxpayers. We think we would have heard if one of the five colleges you attended in six year ... More >>

  • News

    September 17, 2008

    What We Learned about the Election in This Summer's Movies

    From the multiplex to the stump: It's caped crusader versus community organizer, and the end is nigh

  • Blogs

    September 8, 2008

    Flipping The Ticket: Palin Becomes Rightbloggers' Hero/Victim

    [Our weekly feature on conservative blogs' recent offenses to reason; archive here.] All outside activity ceased to matter when the Republican National Convention began, and after Sarah Palin's well-received speech on Wednesday, John McCain ceased to matter, too. Or so it seemed from rightblogger c ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 3, 2008
  • Blogs

    September 3, 2008

    Rudy Wasn't Always This Nice to Families in Trouble

    Daily News blogger Liz Benjamin wrote yesterday that "Vintage Rudy" had surfaced in Minnesota this week, lecturing a reporter "who dared asked him a question he found offensive." The question involved 17-year-old Bristol Palin's pregnancy, which Giuliani aggressively declared off-limits, calling it ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 2, 2008
  • More >>