Chris Brown

Eterniday: Fantasy Island

Witness Relocation’s show looks at love in all the best places

Seth MacFarlane's Most Negative Review Yet

I thought Seth MacFarlane was pretty funny as the Oscar host--he made Tommy Lee Jones laugh, for God's sake--even if some of the jokes didn't land, or at least not safely. But a liberal thinkprogress.com review found him utterly childish and unredeembale.

In Defense of Seth MacFarlane -- He Was the Best Oscar Host

Writing a critique of Seth MacFarlane's duties as Oscar host on the website of The New Yorker this morning, Amy Davidson found herself defending Chris Brown. At least sort of. "Relationships are complicated," she wrote in the midst of a stern rebuke of MacFarlane's Chris Brown/Rhianna joke, "and it ... More >>

Julien Chabbott, Millionaire Asshole Who Ran Over Cop's Foot, Sued for $10 Million

We assume no one's forgotten about Julien Chabbott, the 28-year-old millionaire Internet entrepreneur who is (sadly) more famous for his relationship with The Hills reality 'star' Stephanie Pratt. He became a viral celebrity when, two weeks ago in SoHo, he rolled his $257,000 red Ferrari Spider over ... More >>

The Crackdown On Bottle Service Is Absurd

I deplore bottle service more than anyone on the planet. The sight of wealthy people with no taste commandeering banquettes to order overpriced bottles of vodka, thereby sucking all the creative life out of clubbing, always makes me sick to my stomach. But the new attempts to crack down on and/or ... More >>

Have You Called Moviefone Lately? Oy!

Calling 777-FILM used to be a relatively quick and effortless way to get movie listings info. But here's what you go through now: "Hello, and welcome to Moviefone! This call is sponsored by..." [Segues into some undecipherable ad for a "mobile club" that begins, "Yo, check this out." I'd rathe ... More >>

Help! Show Biz Careers Can't Be Killed Anymore!

Just when you think they're done, they're back!

Afrojack

The "Failing Upward" Syndrome Is Finally Failing Downward

​For years, pop tarts and other messy celebrities would get bigger every time they screwed up in public. Their travails with the law garnered them huge coverage and only seemed to increase their career visibility, a bizarre result of what we call "failing upward." But finally that trend has ... More >>

NO, JIMMY, THANK YOU!

Fallon loves being gracious

The World Is Really Ending This Time!

​I can't stand Chicken Little types who always think the planet is coming to an a tragic end. To me, their whining only adds to the general unpleasantness and their hot air can be detrimental to foliage. But after taking a look at today's headlines, I'm convinced not only that the sky is fa ... More >>

Chris Brown vs. Charlie Sheen: Who's Getting The Worse Rap?

​Among unsavory pop stars, both Chris Brown and Charlie Sheen have been known to be abusive to women. But on her Sirius radio show, Rosie O'Donnell said she feels Brown is getting a worse rap than most in a similar situation. Said Rosie, "I just don't know why this kid seems to be held to a ... More >>

Black Party Aftermath: Here's the Raunchy Stuff I Missed

​My last week's column about the annual gay debauch called the Black Party related how I hung out at Roseland till 2 a.m. looking for the raunchy stuff, then came back at 9:30 a.m. because I heard that's when Sodom really hooks up with Gomorrah. And all I could find was some oral action, a ha ... More >>

Joy Behar And I Discussed Chris Brown And Charlie Sheen On Her Show

​And it was a riot. I can't find a link, so I'll have to just relate the dizzying highlights to you. About Chris Brown's disastrous GMA interview, I said: "Well, I can understand getting mad when an interview doesn't go the way you expected. I mean, I thought we were going to talk about my ... More >>

But Really, Is It Okay for Men to Cry?: A Retrospective

​Following House Speaker-designate John Boehner's Sir-Weeps-a-Lot moment on 60 Minutes recently, along with the salty, flowing waves of 2010 man-tears (including Charlie Rangel's please don't censure me sobs and Chris Brown's spontaneous waterworks at a Michael Jackson tribute), the Today Show ... More >>

American Idol Season 9: "Chris Brown Touches Kids," Victoria Beckham Has No Spice at Boston Auditions

It's raining in Boston. I'm taking that as a metaphor. Everyone could just pack it in right now, go home, stay dry, and we'd be none the poorer. Instead, 9,000 American Idol hopefuls visually and aurally assault viewers for the next two hours, and subsequently five months, and most likely several mo ... More >>

Was Charlie Sheen Really Just Trying To Defend Himself?

​That's what the illustrious TV star reportedly told the authorities when they responded to the Christmas call from his wife, Brooke Mueller, saying he was being abusive. Brooke was the aggressor, swore Sheen, and apparently he was just doing the decent thing by swatting her off. Maybe Chris ... More >>

VIBE Magazine Will Be A Magazine Once More

​And Chris Brown and Drake will be its "first" cover subjects, reports Ad Age. We will now ceremoniously omit the joke about how certain creative entities went down in public flames and are now both on the comeback trail--we love VIBE and its dispossessed staff too dearly (plus very occasional ... More >>

Which Celebrities Had The Most Macabre Deaths?

​There's a new book that's to die for! It's Morbid Curiosity: The Disturbing Demises of The Famous and Infamous by Alan W. Petrucelli, and it's a Hollywood Babylon-style rundown of the best (as in worst) star deaths--how they croaked, what they last ate, what they last said, and who smoked the ... More >>

YouTube Wedding Dance Video Ends in Tragedy

​YouTube can be a path to celebrity, but also a path to bitterness and regret, as we are seeing in the case of Kevin Heinz and Jillian Peterson, whose bright idea to turn their wedding march into a dance routine to Chris Brown's "Forever" has made them internet celebrities. But these innocen ... More >>

Did The Chris Brown Apology Get To You?

Are you still choked up from Chris Brown's video mea culpa that emerged a couple of days ago? I hope that's why you're choked up and not because some thug is at your throat. I thought his performance was fine, and I even liked the Star Trek outfit and hoop earrings. But I thought Chris spoke way t ... More >>

Outrage Over a Chris Brown Plea Deal!

Joel TellingReports say that Rihanna beater Chris Brown may be close to a plea deal, and if that happens, Brown had better get out his umbrella-ella-ella to protect him from the hailstorm of appallment over it. Already I've heard from a law professor--Marisa Cianciarulo, who's the director of the F ... More >>

Behind the Scenes of that Hetero Sex Club!

Plus the Hookies, contrary Mary, and Jerry's real kids.

Week in Review: A Punishing Turkish Prison Sentence of the Peter Green-Era Blues Explosion "Oh Well"

David Atlas In the week all your friends went to South by Southwest, New York got a bit rowdy. The old scumbags of Mötley Crüe nearly burned down Madison Square Garden, while Fleetwood Mac brought both punishing Turkish prison sentences and "Silver Springs" to the same arena only a few days later ... More >>

Week in Review: You Can't Rush My Stimulus Baby!

In the week the word Ickitt became noun, verb, adjective, and baby, we dodged Watchmen hype, welcomed the Roots' newest member, Jimmy Fallon, and tried desperately to forget the details of the Rihanna/Chris Brown police report. Broadway Jimmy Jones got his animated gif. An ailing Michael Steele v ... More >>

Jeanine Pirro Gives Chris Brown a Whooping of His Own

Jeanine Pirro, the noted victims rights advocate and TV talking head, has a righteous tongue lashing for the alleged assaulter of my girl Rihanna, plus some cogent comments about the police reaction to the incident and about abuse in general--and everything she says is right on the money. Her kind ... More >>

Why England's Pop Divas The Sugababes Put Ours to Shame

Cheesy, shameless girls abroad

Morning Report 7/20/05
Supreme Insult