Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris Hates Eggnog

Chuck Norris jokes may be a thing of the past, but the man, the myth, the legend himself spoke up against something so un-Chuck-worthy: holiday season weight gain. One of the main causes of caloric intake, according to Chuck? Eggnog.

Christ, It's Another Red Dawn

North Korea (and audiences) go home unhappy

Would You Trust A Man In A Wig This Bad?

I wouldn't even buy a used car from him, let alone political wisdom. But maybe it's not a toupee after all. It's possible a raccoon simply collapsed on his head and he's leaving it there till spring, just in case it's still alive and might bite.

Three Celebs Come Out Swinging Against Obama

A faded action star, a washed up country singer, and a rapper who whored out for Madonna are stepping up and denouncing Obama as the world goes "Zzzz." Hank Williams Jr. just told his concert audience, "We've got a Muslim for a president who hates cowboys, hates cowgirls, hates fishing, hates farmi ... More >>

The Expendables 2

Soldiers of Fortune

The 18 Most Preposterously Quotable Lines From Riff Raff's New Mixtape

The Houston-via-Hollywood rapper Riff Raff dropped a new mixtape over the weekend! Titled Summer of Surf, the album includes collaborations with Internet darlings Kitty Pryde, Chief Keef and Lil Debbie; Riff Raff himself contributes quite a few bizarre boasts, not to mention a song titled "Versace P ... More >>

Chuck Norris Wants Boy Scouts To Stay Anti-Gay! Lesbian Ex-Den Mother Fights Back!

A righteous vigilante onscreen and off, Chuck Norris is determined to keep openly gay people out of the Boy Scouts while propping up his imaginary gun and tracking down just who's trying to undo that bit of wacko wisdom. But a feisty lesbian is fighting back! This release says it all: "Chuck Nor ... More >>

Tea Party Princess

Victoria Jackson went from the big leagues of comedy to the rabid right of modern politics

Osama Bin Laden Was a Pisces: Excerpts From His Astrological Chart

​We confess an interest in astrology. Not that we believe it, per se, but you know, it's an interesting way to think about things. Right? Right! So, imagine our shock when we googled "Osama Bin Laden" and "astrological sign" and found Bin Laden's personal free astrology birth chart, from Astro ... More >>

Welcome to the Planet of the Aping in Paul

Port of Memory: An Oblique Demi-Documentary With Surprisingly Vivid Images

Justin Bieber, Twitter Casanova

The Most Popular Boy in the World rules the only voting bloc that matters: pre-teen girls

Child Soldiery Becomes Abrasive Spectacle in Johnny Mad Dog

For Cannon Films, Chuck Norris + Godard = Success

Yelle

Press Clips: Do Not Let Robert Thomson Behead Anyone This Week, Please

​VICTORY! for a New York City newspaper, while the rest are going down, down, in an earlier round. A new, familiar byline at New York's Vulture, and a new, familiar byline at AgencySpy. The iPad is still just The iPad, but Twitter is definitely still Twitter. Howard Kurtz at The Daily Beast is sti ... More >>

How a Right-Wing Warrior's Interview With Hamas Spins the Mosque Debate

​The Greater Murdoch Empire is in full-scale jihad mode right now on the subject of the downtown mosque, and the mullahs of Iran would do well to take a lesson on how such scorched-earth campaigns are really conducted. For starters, there's today's chief talking point which is offered on the P ... More >>

Breaking: Snoop Dogg, Humanitarian Environmentalist, Pimps Out a Sea Lion

Via Metro UK/Bob Couey.​When he's not besting Chuck Norris by smoking weed, rapper/actor/father/husband/philanthropist/botanist Snoop Dogg is now besting everyone by pimping out not a "ride," not a goblet, not even a small child, but a sea lion. Yes: A Sea Lion. While other rappers are busy doing ... More >>

Live: Conan O'Brien (And Stephen Colbert, Jon Stewart, John Krasinski, Paul Rudd, Bill Hader, And Vampire Weekend) Salutes Chuck Norris At Radio City Music Hall

​"I look like the Brawny Paper Towel Guy before his bone-marrow transplant." Pics by Santiago Felipe.​Conan O'Brien And Friends Radio City Music Hall Tuesday, June 1 "The Masturbating Bear was onstage!" marvels a satisfied customer, strolling down Sixth Avenue immediately after Conan O' ... More >>

Chuck Norris Has Gone M.I.A. in Brooklyn

Via Brooklyn Heights Blog.Kitty. Click to enlarge. The picture. Not the cat. The cat is not in your computer. But the picture of the cat will get larger.​No, really. Via Brooklyn Heights Blog, posters seeking out a black cat, with yellowish (almost "marigold") eyes have been posted, identifyin ... More >>

From the Annals of Obvious and Juvenile, Perhaps, But Still Pretty Awesome: MenWithMeatNames.com

menwithmeatnames.comShia "the beef" LaBoeuf​ Brighten up your gloomy, if pleasantly temperate, Friday with this collection of Men with Meat Names. It includes the obvious - Kevin Bacon, Paul Haggis, John Ham(m) - but also such abstract meaty monikers as Chuck Norris, Benicio del Toro, and rap ... More >>

Live: The Dirty Projectors Bring The Getty Address to Lincoln Center, Pay Homage to Don Henley

Twitpic via joe_saturday​The Dirty Projectors Allen Room, Lincoln Center Friday, February 19 The Allen Room's dazzling floor-to-ceiling glass vista is guaranteed to metaphorically enhance whatever you happen to hear there. Case in point: On Friday night those double layered panels refracted 5 ... More >>

The Best Fake Twitter Accounts: Fake Rahm Emanuel, Fake Christopher Walken, Fake AP Stylebook, and More

There are currently more than 120 Joe Jonases, at least 45 George Bushes, and exactly 13 Octomoms on Twitter. And while fake social networking profiles have been around since the dark ages of Friendster, the newest crop of Fakesters have embraced the most massive venue for Internet oversharers, th ... More >>

It's Black Thursday -- Get Shopping! The Brooklyn Flea's Gifted and the Bowery Bazaar

​If you're wondering about the reindeer and snowmen that went into the window this week at the old Tower Records (on the corner of East 4th and Lafayette), it's the Brooklyn Flea's pop-up holiday market, Gifted, or -- as we fondly call it -- "the place where we're totally doing all of our holi ... More >>

On Taylor Swift and T-Pain's "Thug Story"

The above video, which depicts T-Pain and Taylor Swift rapping together, frankly falls into We Probably Need to Mention This, But Damned If We Have the Slightest Idea What to Say About It category. As an experiment in whether Swift's critic-wooing adorability can survive something this atrocious, ... More >>

Scientology Protesters Gain Fans, Give Tours in Times Square

Nintendo’s Wii Fit Ignites Yet Another Fitness Fad

Helping the world forget we once loved ThighMasters too

Michael McDonald: Mystery White Boy

Live at the irony apocalypse

Why Do Mexicans Always Rent Blood In Blood Out?

Plus, Mexicans who hate illegals

Kill One for the Gipper

20 years later, our bandanna’d national treasure is still kicking ass and taking names

Live: Pylon at the Mercury Lounge

Course(s) for Adventure

You've got a thing or two to learn. . .

Arresting Development

Shaun of the Dead guys spoof your guilty pleasures. Yes, you, with the Bad Boys DVD.

VH-1's Rock Honors: A Running Diary

SNL Natalie Portman Rap Skit: Shittier Than Actual Rap?

Rio Men Have Curves

Brazil's Working-Class Heroes

Listings

A Guide to the Season's Competitors