FEMA

FEMA's Revamped Flood Maps Add Thousands Of NYC Homes To Danger Zone

Looks like this is the first step of the post-Sandy future preparations. Yesterday, FEMA released an updated version of flood maps for New York City; most notably, in the boroughs of Staten Island, Queens and Brooklyn. The gesture is a sign that the City needs to start thinking about what it can do ... More >>

Senate Finally Approves $50.5 Billion in Sandy Relief

The Senate has approved a $50.5 billion measure to benefit Superstorm Sandy victims. Even though the storm hit three months ago, relief funding has been delayed by conservative senators' concerns about raising the already-scary national debt. As we told you earlier this month, some residents in ar ... More >>

$9.7 Billion Down, $51 Billion To Go: Obama Signs Off On Sandy Relief

"We'll take what we can get" seems to be the mantra of Washington lately. But Sandy relief shouldn't be held prison to that.Yesterday, President Obama put his pen to the paper on a bill that would hand a nearly-broke FEMA the ability to borrow $9.7 billion in funds to handle thousands of Sandy insur ... More >>

Even the Banks are Paying a Penalty for Sandy

Winter is coming

Hurricane Sandy Is New York's Katrina

Floods, fear, and FEMA failures

Where to Eat, Donate, and Volunteer for Sandy Relief This Week [Updated]

Originally published 11/04/12 Your city needs you, reader! The simplest thing you can do to be helpful now, and in the weeks ahead, is to head to places hit by Sandy and eat (and drink!) at the small, independently owned restaurants and bars that have opened again. Your business will help them boun ... More >>

Sandy, Occupy, and the City's Failures

A Storm of Controversy

The NYC Restaurant Industry Gets to Work, No Matter What

Here's what's going on right now: Cooks are wearing construction helmets fitted with lights to work in the dark, or cooking by flashlight to serve free food. Restaurants without power are using barbecues to shift service to the streets, while mobile vendors park in the darkest shadows they can find, ... More >>

Near Riot Tonight in Hurricane-Devastated Broad Channel Over Slow Response From Relief Agencies

Two days after Hurricane Sandy, the situation in the storm-stricken Rockaways and other southern Queens neighborhoods is getting worse in terms of the need for basic supplies and aid. Anger is growing that the government relief agencies have been slow to deal with the problems. Tonight, in Broad Ch ... More >>

No Matter What We Do, the Election Has to Leak Into Hurricane Sandy

Serious conviction: Most of New York's media folk are stuck indoors, looking for something to write about to fill blogs with content. Guilty as charged myself. However, while social media collapses with updates of Sandy's destruction, there have been flares of America's severe electoral illness ... More >>

Relax, That Terrifying 'Extreme Alert' Message on Your Cell Phone Is Only a Test

Alert: You need a new phone.​Today between 10 a.m. and 3 p.m., the Office of Emergency Management will be sending out texts that say "Severe Alert" or "Extreme Alert." This would be frightening, perhaps even terrifying, but, not to worry, this is only a test! In partnership with the Department ... More >>

Emergency Alert System Test to Ruin TV for 30 Whole Seconds Today

​Don't forget, as Nick explained this weekend, that today brings something unprecedented and horrifying in the wake of yesterday's asteroid, which didn't hit us, whew, though we were forced to hide out in a dark, underground bar all night just in case. Today at 2 p.m., the first-ever nationwid ... More >>

Emergency Alert System to Interrupt All Television on Wednesday, Cause Mass Hysteria

Will Skynet become self-aware as well?​This Wednesday, a day after we narrowly avoiding being hit by an asteroid, America will be faced with another threat: television interruption. On November 9th, the FCC, FEMA, Homeland Security, and the National Weather Service will conduct a nationwide te ... More >>

Emergency Alert System to Interrupt All Television Wednesday, Cause Mass Hysteria

Will Skynet become self-aware as well?​This Wednesday, a day after we narrowly avoid being hit by an asteroid, America will face yet another threat: television interruption. On November 9th, the FCC, FEMA, Homeland Security, and the National Weather Service will conduct a nationwide test of th ... More >>

How to Behave Upon the News that a Satellite Might, Possibly, Hit the Earth Friday

If the font scares you, the satellite has won.​Have you heard!? A satellite that's been alternately described as "massive," "bus-sized," and "six-ton" is "barreling" -- or possibly traipsing, stumbling, or lackadaisically meandering in its fancy shoes toward Earth. It's going to take until Fr ... More >>

Dear Rest-of-America: New York City Now Officially a "Disaster Area" to the Tune of $20M!

​Hey, Flyover Country! Do you think us Godless New York Liberals want too much of your guns taken off of the street, your unborn babies to become science experiments, and worst of all, your money for our grubby little (often Jewish) hands? Well, guess what! We just score the motherfucking Powe ... More >>

Obama To Help Clean Up NY Tornado Damage

​The federal government has approved New York State's request for aid in cleaning up the wreckage from last month's severe storm and tornadoes. According to a press release issued by Governor Paterson's office this morning, President Barack Obama has declared Queens, Brooklyn and Staten Island "fe ... More >>

Let's Try This Again: Download The "Finished," "Improved" Version Of The Jay-Z /Dr. Dre Track "No Pressure"

​So this long-rumored clash of the titans initially leaked last week, to widespread indifference and Dre's own protest that it was incomplete. And now, here we go again. Spot the differences, if you can. The Kraftwerk nod is still great, the FEMA line still terrible, the Gilbert Arenas line si ... More >>

Great Falsies!: Vote for Your Favorite Fake News of 2007

Desert Bayou

Building Blocks

Neighbor by neighbor, house by house, New Orleans struggles on

Water, Logged

Document by document, inquiry skewers Bush's Katrina cover-up

Kicked Out of the Heartbreak Hotel

FEMA can stop footing bill for hurricane evacuees

Heartbreak Hotels

For Katrina evacuees in New York, it's no jobs, no phones, no closets, missing meals, and a government that wants you outta there

Trailer Clash

'Not in my backyard' say New Orleans residents, as local parks fill with temporary housing

Life Lesson

He took a gig with Teach for America in New Orleans and ended up working for FEMA

Rotting Meat Still Litters Gulf Coast

Mississippi governor says federal Katrina response stinks

Morning Report 9/28/05
Barney Fife on Capitol Hill

Some Blues

The scene at the San Gabriel morgue, stopover for Katrina's dead

Abandonment Issues

Bush gives hurricane victims that familiar sinking feeling

Morning Report 9/14/05
Picking Up Pieces in Baghdad, New Orleans

Morning Report 9/13/05
Lifeless Body Removed from FEMA HQ

After Katrina: Aliens, Scientologists Land in Baton Rouge

You can tell who’s running from New Orleans by the tattoos

Aussies Arrest American for Being Anti-Halliburton

Bush Regime Remains in Persistent Vegetative State

Morning Report 9/6/05
Bush Team Starts Image Cleanup

Unnatural Disaster

Unwagging the Dog

Katrina knocks power out of Bush spin machine

Crude Manipulation

In Katrina's wake, the supposed oil shortage and suspicious gas price hikes

Dome City Radio Goes Live in Houston

Activists sidestep FEMA bureaucracy to broadcast relief info to Katrina survivors

FEMA Nixes Grassroots Radio Station for Hurricane Evacuees

Bureaucracy KO's info source at the Astrodome

Hillary Says FEMA Should Be Set Free

After Katrina: Senator Clinton Calls for Moving Disaster Agency Out of Homeland Security

If Congress Goes, the Junta's Next

Amendment Would Preserve U.S. Democracy

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Nation

The Next Battle in Washington

Social Security Mobilizes Troops

Safety Dance

Senseless shootings usher in new security measures for schools