Hallmark Cards Inc.

For the Love of Art: A Valentine’s Day Networking Event

Seth Rogen Takes His Centrum Silver in The Guilt Trip

Modern prematurity

Pretty Songs That I Hate Myself For Loving

Normally, I don't appreciate anything too musically pretty. Even if it's a formula love ballad, I like a little bittersweet quality sprinkled in there--or preferably something just plain bitter. But there are some lovely standards that I can't help adoring because it's just so much easier to surre ... More >>

24 Hours A Day Watching Old TV Shows!

That's what you can do thanks to Me TV (channel 144 on my dial), Antenna TV (166), TV Land (Channel 85), Aspire (171), and Hallmark (84). With this plethora of musty treasures on eternal repeat, you need never deal with the present again--except to maybe order food or go to the bathroom. Here's a ... More >>

"Reserved for Mothers Today" Stickers Invade the M Line

It's that special time of the year again, when everyone steps back for a second and sends shout-outs to our most maternal partners in crime. Here at Runnin' Scared, we feel obligated (out of love, of course) to make sure the mothers who give birth to us bloggers are treated with the utmost respect. ... More >>

Were Your Parents Proud Of You?

Are they still? I'm sure the answer is yes, unless you're Christina Crawford. But we often convince ourselves that our parents weren't really supportive of us because it's easier to fall into a self-victimizing frame of mind that plays into our I-wasn't-loved-enough-as-a-child shtick. We lose sig ... More >>

Sachal Vasandani

Boom, Bubble, Bust: Matthew Barney + Jenny Saville + Mickalene Thomas

New York goes retread. But maybe there's a little hope

Hallmark Is Making 'Sorry You Got Fired' Cards Now

Making lemonade of the world's lemons, Hallmark, card purveyor, bringer of joy to the people who are having birthdays, graduating, getting married, having anniversaries, or thanking each other, now makes unemployment cards, apparently. Said one Hallmark store owner, "The cards are flying off the she ... More >>

The Comedy of Manhattan Parenting, Wasted, in The Best and the Brightest

Mother's Day 2011 at Hill Country Barbecue

​What's Mom want? Meat, meat, and more meat, and a respite from cooking Sunday dinner. Hill Country Barbecue was filled with moms this afternoon. It's one of the few places big enough that you could walk right in and eat on Mother's Day -- one of the great "greeting-card holidays" invented ... More >>

It's Monday, And Already Many Record Store Day Items Have Been Resold On eBay

Money, honey. ​The "Hallmark holiday for music nerds" festivities of Record Store Day are a little less than 36 hours past, and as predicted, the speculators and collectors were out in full force on Saturday. And some of them are already seeing returns on their waiting-in-line investments! eBa ... More >>

Martha Stewart Will Get Her Bake On

Martha Stewart is pissed that people don't consider her a TV chef. As she tells New York Daily News, "They exclude me when they talk about TV chefs...I have more credentials as a TV chef than anybody out there. I actually know how to bake and cook and create and edit recipes."

Hallmark's old-school list of what girls can be: model, actress, mom

​Each Thursday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from basements, thrift stores, estate sales and flea markets. I do this for one reason: Knowledge is power. What Girls Can Be Author: Dean Walley, words; Maria Hughes, art Date: None given; pr ... More >>

Terroir Pledges Allegiance to Chris Cannon

Terroir​ In the wake of the Chris Cannon/Michael White divorce, the merry pranksters at Terroir have made their allegiances very clear with a tribute to "our hero" Chris Cannon so hilariously unsparing it makes Ricky Gervais's Golden Globes commentary look like a Hallmark card. Cannon's year ... More >>

City Plans to Save $1M By Slashing Spending on...Paper

​In case you were wondering what, exactly, City Hall hemorrhages its money on, the Daily News reports today on an internal memo sent to city workers, announcing that the Bloomberg administration plans to save $1 million by printing double-sided copies and not sending out holiday greeting cards ... More >>

Annoying Homophobic Movies

​In the new movie The Extra Man--SPOILER ALERT!--Paul Dano plays a guy who likes to try on women's clothes. At the climax, he dons full drag for sex with a woman, at which point he realizes that this is awful and "I just want to be a man!"

When Tourist Attractions Disappoint

via Wikipedia​Ever make a special visit to a world-famous tourist site--a wonder of the world, renowned for its majesty and historical importance--and just go "Eh"? That happened when I recently caught up with the Liberty Bell for the first time since elementary school.

A Hamster Eating Popcorn Upside Down on a Piano

​I usually detest cute animal stunts--as well as Hallmark cards, Precious Moments figurines, and Wizard air freshener--but I can't resist this darling little rodent who so dexterously nibbles on a popcorn kernel upside down with her legs up in the air, only mildly disrupted when a piano key i ... More >>

The Weekend In Clubbing: Ed Banger, "One Night Stand," Rain Machine, Fertile Ground, And More

​It's Valentine's Day weekend. I'm not one to buy into Hallmark holidays (publicly, at least), so we'll treat this weekend like any other. Excuse the cleverly named soirees and sexual innuendo. On Friday, lonely singles and teenagers unite at the One Night Stand warehouse party in Brooklyn. E ... More >>

GOOD TRADITIONS NEVER DIE

Come on, you have to watch it at least once this year

The 50 Worst Songs of the '00s, F2K No. 4: Blue October, "Jump Rope"

F2K is a countdown of the 50 worst songs of the decade. Track our progress here. As in "Blue October, I want to fucking strangle you with this jump rope right now."

Adorable Halloween Costumes For Pets!

​>Just for one madcap moment, let me step away from my usual reports of nocturnal debauchery and diva bitchery and show you some shots of cute dogs in costumes, send to me by the Florida Department of Agriculture & Consumer Services for some reason. Yes, let me turn into a one-man Hallmark st ... More >>

What's Your Favorite Old "Story Song"?

​I used to love those kitschy story songs that filled my youthful eardrums. You know, the elaborate ditties with cheesy, involved narratives--basically shlock short stories set to irresistibly catchy pop music. Among the classics of the genre are: "The Night The Lights Went Out in Georgia" s ... More >>

Free Burgers for Cabbies at Ben & Jack's Today

We didn't know Taxi Appreciation Day was a Thing -- we never see cards for it at the Hallmark store -- but it apparently is celebrated yearly on various days in various jurisdictions. For example, the Mayor of Toronto declared one on June 9, 2003; Syracuse had one by mayoral proclamation last June 1 ... More >>

Golden Girls Moving To One More Lanai

In the future, there will be Cher, cockroaches, and The Golden Girls. The beloved '80s sitcom about four cantankerous and slutty but lovable old broads has played so long on Lifetime that I've gotten my AARP card along with the characters. And now I've been informed that they're moving to the Hall ... More >>

Catholics Are Easily Aroused

It seems a surefire way to get publicity: do something even mildly sexy with the Virgin Mary, then wait for the Catholic Church to denounce you. We saw it last month with the Virgin Mary's Mexican Playboy cover. Now we're seeing it with designer Ricardo Oyarzun's recent fashion show, in which mode ... More >>

The Rudest, Most Patronizing Moment in Last Night's Debate

Lee Ann Womack's Country-Siren Schizophrenia

Bad Taste Alert: What Sarah Palin Probably Likes

Fireproof Appeals to the Indoctrinated

Weekend Peek-In: Pre-Labor Day Summary

MILFs Gone Wild

Jenny McCarthy and others on quickies, pregnancy and "the sexy-mom mystique"

NY Mirror

Books

Dallas Cowboy Gets Big and Rich; Nashville Teddy Bear Trash-Picks

Where Is the Love

V-Day options from wine to Red Stripe

Battle of the Bad

Rhyming shit with itself vs. whining about your ex-girlfriend

Yo Mama: Radical Moms Rise Up and Reclaim Mother's Day

Mothers I'd Like To . . . !

NY Mirror

Horoscope

Seasons on the Brink

Dread Poets Society

Circle Jerk

Must Be Some Way Out of Here

Eternity and a Day

Mommie Dearest

The Hidden History of Mother's Day

Message in a Bottle

Wishing You a Happy Heritage