Here's the worst-case scenario: Your father is Michael Lohan. Your mother is Joan Crawford. Your brother is Jermaine Jackson.
And it was all uttered last night, at the weekly "On Top!" bash at the Standard, where people often say memorable things to match their outfits. *"Hello, Mr. Musto. Everyone says I'm the most Aryan looking thing here."
The fun pixie with the pipes has joined the twitterati, at OfficialPiaZ. So far, she's tweeted upbeat things like, "Another beautiful day. Big weekend ahead in Las Vegas...What are your plans?"
How did I miss Voyage of the Rock Aliens when it came out in 1984? In one of her last films, Ruth Gordon plays the sheriff of a town called Speelburgh, seeking out the alien invaders who've wreaked havoc at Heidi High in their quest for the roots of rock and roll.
Please welcome the next Ernie and/or Swizz Beatz. Photo by Frank Micelotta/ FOXHoly shit, only one hour this week! Do you guys know what this means? It means we don't have to sit through endless inane video packages about every contestant's favorite fruit or whatever the fuck! It means the ne ... More >>
I've been on a plane that got hit by lightning and in a car that almost toppled over while jumping lanes, not to mention so many other near-death experiences that I should have expired more times than Jermaine Jackson's career. But I'm here, I'm still here.
On September 26, Vienna will be home not to just mountains of high-caloric wiener schnitzel, but to scads of bad-for-you stars singing their love for Michael Jackson so they can gain a mass televised audience and revive their careers. It's basically the memorial all over again, but without al ... More >>
A few moments after Michael Jackson died, brother Jermaine Jackson started turning up on the air to do a whitewash, as it were, and talk about Michael's unimpeachable wonderfulness and the incredible tightness of their bond. To remind myself of his one-time truer feelings, I picked up a 2003 ... More >>