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Blogs
May 11, 2012
Dark Shadows Has Problems
Naturally, Tim Burton has brought an extremely vivid look to his adaptation of Dark Shadows, based on the '70s soap opera about a vampire who's only marginally weirder than the people around him. The film also has a terrific soundtrack featuring period pieces by T. Rex, the Carpenters, and other od ... More >>
Film
May 9, 2012
Vampires, All of Them: On Dark Shadows and God Bless America
Naturally, Tim Burton has brought an extremely vivid look to his adaptation of Dark Shadows, based on the '70s soap opera about a vampire who's only marginally weirder than the people around him. The film also has a terrific soundtrack featuring period pieces by T. Rex, the Carpenters, and other od ... More >>
Columns
March 14, 2012
Why I Hate Movies And Will Never See One Again!
38 cinematic reasons why I dread the lights going down
Blogs
March 14, 2012
I Hate Movies And Will Never See Another One! Here's Why!
Check out my hot new column, which is the latest addition to my "Why I Hate..." series that's sweeping the nation. This one deals with: *The horror of 3-D used for films that don't really warrant it (or don't even take advantage of it)! *The sequels to films you didn't want in the first place! ... More >>
Blogs
January 30, 2012
Johnny Depp In Dark Shadows: Looking Good?
Johnny Depp still hasn't seen The Tourist and neither has anyone else, but that's long been demoted to a footnote in his otherwise jazzy career. The chameleon-like voice of Rango has just applied his scissorhands to the part of Barnabas Collins in Dark Shadows, the Tim Burton-directed re-creation o ... More >>
Blogs
January 24, 2012
Johnny And Vanessa! Heidi And Seal! What Next?
When Katy Perry and Russell Brand announced their split not long ago, no one batted a fake lash. It was a matter of "How did it even manage to last that long?" But when relationship champs like Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis, and Heidi Klum and Seal, are reportedly splitsville, who's left that we ... More >>
Blogs
December 2, 2011
Make Saul Bolton's Nitehawk Cinema Beef Jerky
Kyle Dean ReinfordWhere gourmand meets cineaste. One of the best parts of going to Williamsburg's Nitehawk Cinema (136 Metropolitan Avenue) is noshing on Saul Bolton's food while watching your movie. Whether you're downing meatloaf during Martha, Marcy, May, Marlene, or sipping rum cocktails ... More >>
Film
October 26, 2011
The Ghost of Hunter Thompson, A Tame Rum Diary
Kyle Dean ReinfordWhere gourmand meets cineaste. One of the best parts of going to Williamsburg's Nitehawk Cinema (136 Metropolitan Avenue) is noshing on Saul Bolton's food while watching your movie. Whether you're downing meatloaf during Martha, Marcy, May, Marlene, or sipping rum cocktails ... More >>
Blogs
October 5, 2011
Johnny Depp and Vanity Fair: Confused About Scientology, Or Just Trolling?
Vanity Fair magazine is teasing its November issue with an excerpt from its interview with Johnny Depp, timed to promote his new movie, Rum Diary. One utterance from the Pirates of the Caribbean star has been picked up and flung around the Internets with requisite chuckling -- Depp appears t ... More >>
Blogs
June 16, 2011
Who's The Best Male Movie Star In Drag?
Whether they were playing drag queens or women, a lot of name actors have been willing to step into the heels and do it up. Who's your favorite? Liev Schreiber in 'Taking Woodstock'
Film
May 18, 2011
Searching for Eternal Life in the Interminable Pirates of the Caribbean
Whether they were playing drag queens or women, a lot of name actors have been willing to step into the heels and do it up. Who's your favorite? Liev Schreiber in 'Taking Woodstock'
Voice Choices
April 6, 2011
JOHNNY THE GREAT
Depp, before all that pirate nonsense
Music
March 9, 2011
SXSW Cheat Sheet 2011
An assortment of local bands heading to Texas for beer, BBQ, and maximum blogability
Blogs
March 3, 2011
Johnny Depp's Six Best Performances
A chameleon with a closetful of hairdos and accents, Johnny Depp has played everything but a household pet that goes on an adventure to discover its true self. But wait, now he's played just that in the animated Rango! In fact, that's the official plot description! The chameleon is playing ... More >>
Blogs
February 17, 2011
Live: Vanessa Paradis Charms Tourists And Fashion Week Lifers Alike At Town Hall
You don't have to understand her to get her. Pic by Stacey.Vanessa Paradis Town Hall Wednesday, Feb 16 Better than: Passing out in a nightclub with Kate Moss. So, it's Fashion Week again, as you may have observed from your safer vantage point of flat shoes and carbohydrates. Every season, t ... More >>
Blogs
February 3, 2011
Year of the Rabbit Begins Today; Zac Efron to Profit
jimwIf you're like us, you started the Year of the Rabbit by waking up with a hangover in the butt-end of a discarded parade dragon in Flushing. After brushing the taste of Tsingtao out of your mouth, you probably wondered, "What's this all about?"
Film
February 2, 2011
Waiting for Forever: Miscalculated Amalgams of Quirky Innocence
jimwIf you're like us, you started the Year of the Rabbit by waking up with a hangover in the butt-end of a discarded parade dragon in Flushing. After brushing the taste of Tsingtao out of your mouth, you probably wondered, "What's this all about?"
Voice Choices
February 2, 2011
Gay for Johnny Depp
jimwIf you're like us, you started the Year of the Rabbit by waking up with a hangover in the butt-end of a discarded parade dragon in Flushing. After brushing the taste of Tsingtao out of your mouth, you probably wondered, "What's this all about?"
News
December 29, 2010
Michael Musto's Year in Review
Social and economic turmoil? Don't ask. At least we had Lady Gaga to tell us what to do.
Film
December 8, 2010
The Tourist: The Lives of Angie and Johnny
Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck's film gawks at its stars, visits Venice, has twist
Blogs
November 9, 2010
Who Will Be People's "Sexiest Man Alive"?
The annual, much ballyhooed issue is slated for November 17th, and tongues are wagging. (All of them publicists', of course.) I suspect it'll be someone like James Franco, Matthew Morrison, Johnny Depp, or Jon Hamm, which is absolutely fine with me. But is there someone else who deserves th ... More >>
Blogs
October 20, 2010
On Its 50 Birthday, Scientists Would Like You to Know that the Pill May Make You Crazy
In honor of this year's 50th anniversary of the birth control pill being "alive," scientists would like to inform you that it may make you a psychotic nutbag unable to control your emotions.
Blogs
October 8, 2010
Week in Review: Report Gang Activity
Have seen you seen this man?In the week we wondered if it was still possible to sell out in 2010 (short answer: no), we also found ourselves introduced to the horrific new term "rape gaze," about which the less that's now said, the better. Cleanse your palate with the six best things you can ... More >>
Blogs
October 5, 2010
Premiere: Download Gay For Johnny Depp's "You Have A Theory, I Have A Gun"
Yes In My Backyard is a semiweekly column showcasing MP3s from new and emerging local talent. Equal parts political and pornographic, New York spazzcore eye-gougers Gay for Johnny Depp have been slogging it out for the better part of a decade. While an underground cult sensation in their home ... More >>
Voice Choices
August 11, 2010
Juliette Lewis
Yes In My Backyard is a semiweekly column showcasing MP3s from new and emerging local talent. Equal parts political and pornographic, New York spazzcore eye-gougers Gay for Johnny Depp have been slogging it out for the better part of a decade. While an underground cult sensation in their home ... More >>
Columns
April 20, 2010
Free Will Astrology: Wednesday, April 21 through 27
Yes In My Backyard is a semiweekly column showcasing MP3s from new and emerging local talent. Equal parts political and pornographic, New York spazzcore eye-gougers Gay for Johnny Depp have been slogging it out for the better part of a decade. While an underground cult sensation in their home ... More >>
Voice Choices
March 9, 2010
The Brain from Planet Arous
Yes In My Backyard is a semiweekly column showcasing MP3s from new and emerging local talent. Equal parts political and pornographic, New York spazzcore eye-gougers Gay for Johnny Depp have been slogging it out for the better part of a decade. While an underground cult sensation in their home ... More >>
Blogs
February 23, 2010
Who's The Best Male Movie Actor of the Sound Era?
My choices in ranked order: (1) James Stewart (2) Robert DeNiro (3) Spencer Tracy (4) Jack Nicholson (5) Jack Lemmon
Blogs
December 16, 2009
Is Nine a 10?
Ladyfag: The future is now, apparently. Photo by Randy BurkeCLICK HERE for my new column which tells you all about the splashy new movie musical with Daniel Day-Lewis trying to "Be Italian." I also delve into:
Columns
December 15, 2009
Johnny Depp Remembers Heath--And Other Oscar Treats
Showstoppers and rip-offs in the blowsy movie musical. Plus: Paper's Nightlife Awards
Voice Choices
March 18, 2008
ROCKERS AND SQUARES DO BATTLE—AGAIN
John Waters’s cult classic Cry-Baby arrives on Broadway
Columns
March 11, 2008
Christian From Project Runway Has a Boyfriend!
Siddown and shuddup! It's da Kollege of Musical Knowledge.
Film
May 15, 2007
Pirates of the Caribbean: At Wit's End
It's time to throw Jack Sparrow overboard
Screens
August 22, 2006
A Hyper-Real Football Experience
It's time to throw Jack Sparrow overboard
Screens
August 8, 2006
The Mother of All Zombie Adventures
It's time to throw Jack Sparrow overboard
Screens
August 1, 2006
Not Your Ordinary Button Masher's Delight
It's time to throw Jack Sparrow overboard
Screens
July 25, 2006
When Lamps and Chairs Attack
It's time to throw Jack Sparrow overboard
Screens
July 18, 2006
A Game Trippy Enough for Timothy Leary
It's time to throw Jack Sparrow overboard
Screens
July 11, 2006
An Above and Beyond Shooter Game
It's time to throw Jack Sparrow overboard
Screens
July 4, 2006
Act Like a Drunk Johnny Depp
It's time to throw Jack Sparrow overboard
Film
November 15, 2005
Drunk and Disorderly: A First-Time Director's Bawdy Goblet of Dire
It's time to throw Jack Sparrow overboard
Film
July 5, 2005
Stranger With Candy
A decent Factory: Tim Burton's enjoyable Roald Dahl redux delves into Wonka weirdness
Screens
July 5, 2005
Rack Focus
A decent Factory: Tim Burton's enjoyable Roald Dahl redux delves into Wonka weirdness
Columns
November 9, 2004
Closet Case
Searching for queer clues and a tv producer who can pick them up
Film
November 2, 2004
Final Fantasy
Magic and loss: Bereaved wonder boys help J.M. Barrie pen his immortal masterpiece
Film
March 9, 2004
Despite Star's Best Efforts, Corny Thriller Goes off the Depp End
Magic and loss: Bereaved wonder boys help J.M. Barrie pen his immortal masterpiece
Film
April 3, 2001
Social Aspirations
Magic and loss: Bereaved wonder boys help J.M. Barrie pen his immortal masterpiece
NYC Life
February 27, 2001
Crouching Pussycats, Hidden Gems
Moviegoers Avoid Big-Budget Pitfalls
Film
December 12, 2000
That Old Slack Magic
Moviegoers Avoid Big-Budget Pitfalls
Film
March 14, 2000
Missions Impossible
Moviegoers Avoid Big-Budget Pitfalls
More >>

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