Jonah Goldberg

Benghazi, Immigration, Syria: Rightbloggers Smear NSA (and Obama) on Everything

The NSA controversy, which continues to develop, has been useful in a lot of ways. It's gotten people talking after a long period of quiet about the surveillance powers of the state -- and whereas the national security state had legions of defenders back in post-9/11 days, in these post-post-9/11 da ... More >>

Rightbloggers Find NSA Spying on Americans--And This Time They're Against It!

Last week many Americans discovered that their government is spying on them. We are not sure how many of them had a hunch such a thing was happening, though since 9/11, the signing of the Patriot Act, and various government snooping stories, we would guess the number to be very high. Many rightblog ... More >>

Rightbloggers Take Cover as Gay Marriage Reigns Supreme

Last week the Supreme Court heard a couple of gay marriage cases and, with so many politicians and even some conservatives running to grab the rainbow flag, it seemed as if a corner on the contentious issue had been turned. How went the rightbloggers? Most continued to -- paraphrasing Buckley -- s ... More >>

Obama's SOTU Riles Rightbloggers Less Than Jokes About Thirsty Marco Rubio

Last Tuesday was the State of the Union address, in which the President laid out a bunch of plans and Republicans denounced them. Rightbloggers got into this with the aplomb you'd expect. But when rising GOP star Marco Rubio had a comical moment in his official Republican response, and people had ... More >>

The 12 Months of Crazy: Rightbloggers' Greatest Hits of 2012

It's been a hell of a year for conservatives, so naturally it's been a flaming, bloody hell of a year for our subjects the rightbloggers. If this is the sort of thing that gladdens your heart, then sit by the fire and let us brighten your holiday season by reviewing, month by month, the rightblogg ... More >>

Rightbloggers' Solution to Obama's Reelection: Bring Back Culture War and White People!

It would be cruel to take too much pleasure in the rightblogger reactions to last Tuesday's events. Lest we forget, Democrats too have been known to lose faith in their fellow Americans when a big election doesn't go their way. So let us, after a brief review of their wrathful ejaculations, focus o ... More >>

Rightbloggers Anticipate Romney Landslide, Denounce Nate Silver, Katy Perry

The election's Tuesday, and the whole political blogosphere is one endless screaming rah-rah for one candidate or another. We advise against all direct contact with it from now till next weekend. The preemptive victory dances of the left blogosphere are, as we never tire of paraphrasing Jed Leland, ... More >>

Rightbloggers Declare Democratic Convention a Failure -- Which May Be Why It Succeeded

A week after the party of Kang had their national convention, the party of Kodoshad theirs in Charlotte, NC. It was a lively affair, with a floor fight strong-armed by party bosses, and big speeches by Bill Clinton, Michelle Obama, Sandra Fluke, and some guy running a crap economy who nonetheless no ... More >>

Sick, Sick, Sick: Rightbloggers Run a Fever after Obamacare Decision

Last week's Supreme Court decision on the Affordable Care Act (aka the ACA, aka Obamacare, aka TreasonHitlerStalin) caught nearly everyone by surprise. Among rightbloggers, most of whom had filled balloons and strung festive banners for a big post-overturn victory party, the scenes of shock and ho ... More >>

Rightbloggers: Obama Unfairly Uses Bin Laden, Jokes, and Slow Jam to Get Reelected

We're coming up to the first anniversary of Osama Bin Laden's demise. Some media outlets celebrated with cute headlines ("Osama Bin Laden Used Viagra And 'Just-For-Men' To Keep His Wives Interested In Him"). President Obama celebrated with an ad reminding everyone that he killed him. To rightblogge ... More >>

Dog Soldiers: Rightbloggers Meld with Mitt over Obama Mutt Meal Story

For months, the growing probability that Mitt Romney, least acceptably conservative of the Republican Presidential contenders, would face Obama in November made rightbloggers moody and irritable. They've been coming around, but slowly. When Newt Gingrich's supporters attacked Romney's years as a c ... More >>

As Rick Perry Stumbles, Rightbloggers Run To (Non-Candidate) Chris Christie

The economy sucks, and so do President Obama's poll numbers. Yet many smart people think Obama's got a chance at reelection next year. Why? Because he gets to run against the nominee of the Republican Party, which seems hellbent on throwing the election. In the GOP's latest slapstick routine, put ... More >>

Called Anti-Science, Rightbloggers Reply That Science is a Liberal Plot

With the ascension of Rick Perry, Michele Bachmann, Rick Santorum, and other GOP candidates who don't cotton to this evolution or climate change stuff, people have begun to ask if Republicans and conservatives are actually becoming hostile to science. It doesn't help that one of those people is Repu ... More >>

Rightbloggers Discover the Real Victims of Norway Mass Murderer Breivik: Themselves

As you probably heard, someone bombed downtown Oslo, Norway and shot up kids in nearby Utoya, killing 93 people. it turns out that the suspect is not a jihadist but an anti-jihadist -- Anders Behring Breivik, a real deport-them-all, Norway-for-the-Norwegians type who denounced "multiculturalism," "p ... More >>

Paul Ryan's Medicare Plan Scaring Voters? Rightblogger Solution: Paul Ryan for President!

Last Tuesday a Democrat came from behind to win a special election in New York's overwhelmingly Republican 26th Congressional District. Kathy Hochul's surge coincided with heavy, issue-specific campaign advertising, reminding NY-26 voters that Republicans in Congress supported a plan to turn Medicar ... More >>

Mitch Daniels Out of 2012 Race; Herman Cain is the Next President of the United States

Despite the speculation of Fox News ("he has a proven record of managing the kinds of fiscal problems that beset our nation"), the Washington Post ("a Daniels candidacy probably would be taken as a sign that the games are over for the Republican Party, that it is time to buckle down and organize to ... More >>

Rightbloggers Taste the Tiger Blood, Link Charlie Sheen to Unions, Obama, and Gay Marriage

Last week it seemed no one could get enough of Charlie Sheen. Though he'd previously made the papers with his drug problems, domestic violence incidents, and hit TV series, Sheen attained internet meme status when, after his ravings derailed his show, he responded with spectacularly outsized referen ... More >>

Rightbloggers on WikiLeaks: Kill Julian Assange, But Not Till We Use His Stuff Against Obama

This weekend we got another fat load of WikiLeaks, based on purloined diplomatic cables to and from the U.S. State Department. As happened when Julian Assange's muckraking endeavor leaked U.S. military data from Iraq earlier this year, conservatives are outraged, and some call, as before, for the ex ... More >>

After the Shellacking, the Return of the "Arrogant Obama" Meme

Hey sheeples: Barack Obama thinks he's better than you. Obama gets a lot of this from conservatives, and has since before he was elected. He's been called "arrogant" by thousands of them, including Karl Rove and Vegas entertainer Wayne Newton. But this week he got a heavier dose of it than usual, ... More >>

Rightbloggers Denounce Stewart - Colbert Rally to Restore Sanity Cat Stevens

On Saturday in Washington Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert held their Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Keep Fear Alive. The purpose of the event, which drew more than 200,000 people, was to help Cat Stevens win support for his fatwa against Salman Rushdie. What, you didn't know that? You must have mis ... More >>

Libertarian Fire Department Lets House Burn Because Owner Didn't Pay $75; Rightbloggers Applaud Free Market, Suffering

People often say that the Republican Party has become much more conservative than it used to be. But they don't talk much about how conservatism itself has become more... hmm, how to put this politely -- let's say, detached from traditional American beliefs and standards of behavior. We're not talk ... More >>

Rightbloggers Stick It To The Man With Groovy Rightwing Revolution

Psst, brother! Are you down with the revolution? No, we don't mean the revolution of the Sixties -- though some of the star players in this one do dress like Paul Revere and the Raiders (and most of them are old enough that -- who knows? -- they may have have gotten stoned and marched on the Penta ... More >>

Rightbloggers on Shirley Sherrod: "You Fucked up -- You Trusted Us!"

You may have heard something about former USDA employee Shirley Sherrod last week. She's the civil-rights veteran who got forced out of her job after rightwing provocateur Andrew Breitbart released a video of her remarks before the NAACP, edited to make her look anti-white. You may also have heard ... More >>

Rightbloggers Look Back in Anger at The Anti-American World Cup

"It's hard work, politicizing your whole life," read the subhed of Matt Labash's article in the rightwing Weekly Standard. At last, we thought when we saw this, they're going to own up to it! We can stop writing this accursed column -- and, freed of their delusions, conservatives can begin to live ... More >>

Nashville Flood Proves to Rightbloggers: Obama Hates America, White People

Even if you don't know much about rightbloggers, you probably know that since time immemorial conservatives have blamed the nation's problems and Democratic Administrations on something called the Liberal Media. This nefarious press syndicate (of which the Village Voice is considered a charter membe ... More >>

Rightbloggers On Healthy Conservative Debate: Shut Up! (Whoops, We Mean: Epistemic Closure!)

We're not accustomed to think of rightbloggers as intellectuals. For one thing -- as we have ample opportunity to observe here every week -- they sure don't act like intellectuals; in fact, they seem allergic to logical argument, and sometimes even committed to a backwards Bizarro World version of i ... More >>

Jonah Goldberg: Haiti Would Be Better Off If It Were Rich

​If you're wondering, especially since Scott Brown's victory turned America Republican again, what conservative thinkers have been up to lately, have a gander at National Review editor Jonah Goldberg's latest column, in which he explains that the earthquake would have been no big deal for Hait ... More >>

Rightbloggers Keep It Sweet on Haiti -- Unless You Attack Rush, Are Obama, Etc.

The disaster in Haiti has obsessed both mainstream media and bloggers, and for the most part rightbloggers have been exceptionally well-behaved about it. Even some normally obstreperous critics have praised Obama for his interventions, and if they piled on Danny Glover for attributing the quake t ... More >>

Harry Reid's "Negro" Remarks Spur Another Rightblogger Seminar on Who The Real Racists Are

Mark Halperin's and John Heilemann's new book Game Change about the 2008 Presidential campaign is full of hilarious revelations. Among these is the news that Democratic Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid listed among Barack Obama's electoral advantages that he was "light skinned" and had "no Neg ... More >>

Crotch-Bomber Fails to Blow Up Plane, in Yet Another Disaster for Obama

There are a few ways to look at the case of the thwarted holiday crotch-bomber. On the one hand, we have a deluded fellow who, allegedly assured of eternal glory by jihadists who bade him sew explosive chemicals into his underwear, set his lap on fire during a Delta flight and, instead of the coo ... More >>

GOP Purge Continues with Graham Censure, Conservative Challengers

​It looks like the call by Erick Erickson of RedState to "purge" the Republican Party in the wake of the NY-23 loss is getting some traction: the Charleston County, South Carolina GOP has actually censured Republican Senator Lindsey Graham for cooperating with the enemy, that is, the Democrat ... More >>

Rightbloggers Denounce Liberal Media's Defense of the Fort Hood Massacre

On Thursday Army Major Nidal Malik Hasan shot up Fort Hood, killing 12. Though a soldier for 12 years, Hasan apparently demonstrated, out loud, loyalty and affection for global jihad. It's appropriate to ask what such a person was doing in the U.S. Army.

Holder's CIA Investigation Unleashes Rightblogger Rage Over 9/11, Marc Rich

​Attorney General Eric Holder is going to do a "preliminary review" of the CIA to see if any of the techniques their operatives used on detainees -- which the Inspector General's report reveals included threats to rape the detainees' female relatives in front of them and kill their children, m ... More >>

Rightbloggers Observe Kennedy's Passing Pretty Much the Way You Would Expect

​Rightbloggers observed the death of Ted Kennedy with their customary grace. "By my reckoning, he left the country worse off than he found it, and to the moment of his death supported legislation that, if enacted, will make it a lot harder for the generation of my children to succeed, thrive ... More >>

NY Fed Names State AFL-CIO President as Chairman

​"The New York Fed just appointed Denis M. Hughes as its chair. Lee Bollinger has been named as vice-chair," grumbles National Review's Jonah Goldberg. "A union organizer and a very liberal lawyer, just the team we need." Hughes, president of the New York State AFL-CIO, has served on the New Y ... More >>

Rightbloggers Explain How Obama is Trying to Trick Veterans into Killing Themselves

A recent Washington Post-ABC News poll shows that President Obama, in the middle of a contentious health-care debate, has a 57 percent approval rating. This sounds pretty good till you get to the spin: it's 12 points lower than it was in April. Hence, "Polls Show It's Time for Democrats to Drop ... More >>

It's Silly Season -- Let's Relax With Rightbloggers on Dylan, Helen Gurley Brown, and the Jackson-Lee Cell-Phone Outrage

In the latest round of health care town hall protests, rightbloggers.... Hold on a second. Isn't this August? Though we are new to this journalism racket, it's our understanding that August is the height of the "silly season" -- that is, per Wikipedia, the time of year "typified by the emergence ... More >>

Rightbloggers Will Tell You Who The Real Racists Are in the Henry Louis Gates Case

One of the great themes of the current conservative movement is Liberal Fascism -- the idea, promoted by Jonah Goldberg's book of that name, that liberals are the true heirs of Hitler and Mussolini, and that they effect fascist outrages in the present day via their "speech police," "thought poli ... More >>

Amok Time: Star Trek Provokes Political Gibberish

Oh boy, the new Star Trek movie is here! Can we just go to the theater and forget about mundane crap like politics? Fat chance. This is 2009, baby -- everything is politics. Newsweek started the ball rolling by announcing, "Spock's cool, analytical nature feels more fascinating and topical than e ... More >>

How Rightbloggers Made "Fascist" the New "Socialist"

Rightbloggers talked a lot over the past eight years about Bush Derangement Syndrome, liberal sufferers of which thought Bush engaged in a totalitarian overthrow of our liberties. One of the symptoms was calling the President a fascist. "A strong word to fling about," warned The Anchoress, who not ... More >>

As Economy Tanks, Rightbloggers Say Obama is Just Trying to Scare Us

Job losses are accelerating. Big companies on both sides of the Atlantic -- including carmakers who are not part of the Big Three, and insurers -- are posting big losses. Banks are closing. Etc. All this you know. To stop the bleeding, President Obama last week pushed hard for a giant stimulus p ... More >>

Out There In The Dark: Rightbloggers Go Hollywood!

As we get closer to the actual transition, rightbloggers are shifting gears. They're losing interest in the remaining pre-inaugural Obama business. We probably won't see anything like the Hillary Clinton Constitutional crisis again. Leon Panetta's CIA appointment drew some criticism on the grounds ... More >>

The Top 10 Rightblogger Stories of 2008

Excited (not to say deranged) by the long Presidential campaign, conservative bloggers -- rightbloggers, in our affectionate parlance -- were in top form this year, and outstripped the sleepy Main Stream Media in every way. If mainstream Republicans were content to call Obama a socialist, rightblogg ... More >>

RightBloggers on the New Yorker's Obama Cartoon Cover

The Official Village Voice Election-Season Guide to the Right-Wing Blogosphere

A confederacy of dunces

Border War: Conservatives Not Buying Call for Troops

Flagging Bush seeks middle ground

Morning Report 5/10/05
Neocons Fight Back

The Numbers Beyond the Bling

In the streets of America, people are worse off, and more of them are in jail

Fun With China

In Media Merriment, Fine Line Between Humor and Hate