Justin Bieber

The Month in Press Release Idiocy

You can keep your fancy-pants Pitchfork criticism. For my money -- and believe me, I have none of it -- the finest music prose isn't some college boy's flower-power review of the new long player by England's hottest beat group. It's not some hepcat rap blogger carving up Weezy's toots with a silver ... More >>

The Very Intentional Self-Destruction of Justin Bieber

Unlike many a male performer before him who created an epic legacy through their unique musical talents and tragic deaths (SHOUT OUT to Jimi Hendrix, John Lennon, Bob Marley, Freddie Mercury, Kurt Cobain, Tupac Shakur, and Hugo Chavez!), Justin Bieber has chosen a different path towards earning res ... More >>

Selena Gomez And Demi Lovato Are The Same Person

I'm not even sure why I know this, but let's face it: Both were born in 1992. Both are slightly exotic, yet in a cutesy homespun way.

SNL Sound-Off: Justin Bieber

As expected, the Bieber/Bieber Saturday Night Live episode doled out plenty of lesbian haircut jabs and opportunities for the Canadian teen idol to bust out with the giggles in the middle of each skit. With a hilarious opening monologue that had Bieber handing out roses and misguided Black History M ... More >>

No One Trusts the Tastes of Teenage Girls, But Should: Why Justin Bieber Is the Next Beatles

At what point did teen girls suddenly just become wrong? "Serious" music fans seem to have universally accepted a critique of quality that befalls any artist who willingly sells to the rabid teen girl market and stigmatized the fans who dare to sometimes be male or at least above the age of 18. It's ... More >>

These Artists Should Sell Coffins As Merch

Sorry to throw salt in your New Year's revelry, but as something begins, so too something ends. And that makes us think about death. Because we're sick. And practical. Sickly practical. Practically sick. ANYWAY, the imminence of death begs an essential question: how will you be buried? It's never ... More >>

'Z100 Jingle Ball'

Beliebers on One Direction: "They're Nothing"

This morning on Today music's biggest deal One Direction played for its diehard fans, many of whom had camped out since Friday of last week to insure they'd get a spot in the crowd. Across the river last night, music's other biggest deal Justin Bieber played Barclays. Reporter Brett Koshkin lives ac ... More >>

TEEN CHOICE

Justin Bieber makes the Barclays Center go pop

What I Learned At the CMJ Panels: Not Much

Last week, as a self-assigned endurance test (and out of an occasional true interest in the subject matter), I attended as many CMJ panels as I possibly could -- the good, the bad, the sparsely attended, and the boring -- with a tape recorder, a cup of iced coffee (not quite willing to submit to the ... More >>

Justin Bieber's Believe: A Friendly Chat About Its Merits, Its Hooks, And Its Foray Into "Arena Moombahton"

This week, teen-idol-of-the-moment Justin Bieber released his second proper full-length, Believe, a record studded with cameos by the likes of Drake and Nicki Minaj and stuffed with different styles of music—from R&B to simply sung acoustic-guitar balladry to something that's either arena rock ... More >>

Hey, Justin Bieber! Hey, Girlfriend!

I know calling the new Justin Bieber fragrance Girlfriend is supposed to be the most hetero thing going, but first of all, the ads have him wearing a sparkly top right out of Loehmann's, while very attractively sporting his usual lipstick-lesbian glow.

Justin Bieber Becomes Robot Spokesman

This item almost makes you wish for the good ol' days -- when pop stars would make headlines for booze-fueled buffoonery rather than just shamelessly shilling random shit. Alas, Justin Bieber has signed on to endorse a robot at the 2012 International Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas this week ... More >>

Celebrities' New Year Resolutions For 2012!

I've exclusively gotten these resolutions from famous people who are hoping to stay famous in the new year. *Justin Bieber "I'll smile for the first time! Even when people say I impregnated them!"

I Got Two Amazing Christmas Gifts!

I got dozens of them, actually, but two stand above the pack for their unique mixture of kitschy appeal and downright usefulness. First of all, I can now brush my teeth to the sound of Justin Bieber singing "U Smile!"

Avoiding the Holiday's Most Cloying Carol

Hold the drumming, boy

Justin Bieber Will Not Be in NYC at the Same Time as Barack Obama This Week

Last week, many New Yorkers were under the impression that Justin Bieber was scheduled to be here for the Rockefeller Christmas tree lighting at the same time that President Obama planned to come to NYC for fundraisers. This would be spell doom for everyone's commute, which is already hard. Good n ... More >>

Live: Taylor Swift Brings Selena Gomez And James Taylor To Madison Square Garden

Taylor Swift w/ NeedToBreathe, Danny Gokey Madison Square Garden Tuesday, November 22 Better than: Singing along alone in the office. Taylor Swift closed her Fearless tour before a sold-out football stadium in Foxboro, Massachusetts, where she performed her encore under artificial rain and gave Ju ... More >>

Justin Bieber and Barack Obama Coming to the City Next Week to Ruin Your Commute

For the second time in six months, Justin Bieber and President Obama are coming to New York simultaneously. Next Wednesday, the pair -- who are buddies, kind of -- will cause traffic to be horrible all over the city. They're not coming here to hang out together, although maybe they can squeeze in so ... More >>

Live-Blogging The 2011 American Music Awards: We Could Have Had It All (But Then Adele Had To Go Have A Vocal Cord Hemorrhage)

Welcome to Sound of the City's liveblog of the 2011 American Music Awards, the annual salute to the most popular popular music that exists in the American wild this year. While Lady Gaga and Adele and Beyoncé are absent, this year's show apparently has one performance that will cost $500,000 to pul ... More >>

If Adele Found A Solid Relationship...

​Her career would be over! WTF would she have to sing about? "I met the man of my dreams and he loves me right back"? Blech. Boring. That would go down the charts with a bullet. And here are some other potential career killers for top music stars:

Busta Rhymes Drags "The Little Drummer Boy" Into The Twitter Age

​"Drummer Boy," another song from the forthcoming Justin Bieber Yuletide album Under The Mistletoe, has made its way online; a rework of the classic hymn "The Little Drummer Boy," it's been retrofitted with sharper drums and rap verses to make it sound like it could be dropped into top-40 stat ... More >>

The Top 5 Moments From Taylor Swift's New Journey To Fearless DVD

​Early this year, Never Say Never took us backstage as teenpop heartthrob Justin Bieber worked his way to a sold-out Madison Square Garden tour finale, juxtaposing current success with clips of baby Bieber playing drums, doing cute things, and wowing crowds at Ontario open mics. Journey to Fea ... More >>

Radio Hits One: Raising The Bar For "YouTube Platinum"

Justin Bieber and Ludacris: Congratulations. A lot of people watched your video.​On August 28, MTV will throw the 2011 installment of its Video Music Awards, honoring achievements in the art form that used to make up the majority of its programming. While it's all too tempting to note the iron ... More >>

Justin Bieber Proves that 'Coneing' Really Is the New Planking, Terrorizes Fast-Food Workers

Justin Bieber: cone artist.​According to Perez Hilton, "coneing" is a real thing. In fact, it's the latest YouTube craze; think of it as the new "planking." For those of you who are not with it, it's when you order an ice cream cone at a drive-thru and take it by the ice cream end. Hilarious! ... More >>

Help! Blandness Has Taken Over Our Culture!

​Click here for my new column, which is incredibly spicy and cutting edge as it dissects the blandness that's overtaken our culture like margarine on a ciabatta sandwich. Chow down as I brilliantly dissect the dispiriting developments in TV, music, movies, and media which have taken the oomph ... More >>

Barack Obama and Justin Bieber Both in Town to Make Your Commute Miserable

​Today in your why is it taking me so freaking long to get where I want to go news: Two extremely famous world powers are in New York City today, on the very same day. This is unprecedented! They are: President Obama and Justin Bieber. Obama, of course, is in town for fundraisers in Midtown an ... More >>

Justin Bieber Attack at NYC Macy's Caught on Video

At his New York City appearance today, Justin Bieber "decided to go outside of the store to acknowledge the fans that could not come inside to the event," ABC News reports, only to be attacked by "an unidentified man." Some lucky videographers (with NSFW mouths!) were taking in the scene from a high ... More >>

Will An Army Of Beyoncés Save "Run The World (Girls)" From Chart Oblivion?

​Last night's Billboard Music Awards handed out popularity-contest trophies to the likes of Eminem, Justin Bieber, and Katy Perry, all of whom were rewarded for the copious amounts of radio play and sales they racked up in recent months. But the evening's real winner was probably Beyoncé, who ... More >>

President Donald Trump In 2012

​Don't laugh. It could happen. After all California raisin, I mean California Reagan made it to the White House once, as I recall. And Trump tied for second place in a recent Wall Street Journal poll of Republican potentials, as Ms. Palin's jaw dropped to the lower tundra. That alone is pret ... More >>

Justin Bieber Dies On TV, Millions Of Girls' Hearts Break

​ Oh dear. Here we have Justin Bieber, shot and killed in a police face-off, ending his multi-episode CSI run as Jason McCann and sending waves of fear and anger through his devoted fandom. During last night's episode, Justin's troubled character was caught setting a bomb by Detective Stokes a ... More >>

Panda Bear's Tomboy Listening Party: Like Watching Never Say Never 3D All Over Again, Sort Of

​ Panda Bear Listening Party for Tomboy Le Poisson Rouge Wednesday, Feb 16 Better than: Billy Ray Cyrus discovering that Hannah Montana was just a figment of his imagination. Panda Bear fans are the Justin Bieber fans of the indie universe. While "Beliebers" attended the star's movie Never ... More >>

Justin Bieber Update: A Report From Never Say Never's Opening Night

​I should start by stating by own critical bias. When last week I told my younger, Bieber-loving sister that I'd be seeing Justin Bieber's 3D movie on Friday night at Union Square, she told me straight up that if I were to write a negative review she would kick me out of the family. Still, nei ... More >>

Justin Bieber and Usher: What's With That?

Is anyone else getting a little embarrassed by all the mutual loving displayed by Justin Bieber and his mentor Usher, as seen on tonight's Grammy awards? We were gushily told it's a "beautiful relationship," then watched the two eye each other as Usher remembered, "I saw you in the parking lot..." ... More >>

Super Bowl Aftermath: What Was The Best Commercial?

​There were so many celebs filling up the valued time between touchdowns at last night's Super Bowl that it almost made the long, laborious evening worthwhile for me. (I said almost.) Jazzing up all the high-powered commercials were starry names like Joan Rivers, Eminem, Adrien Brody, Timothy ... More >>

Justin Bieber Likes Michael Jackson

​And I bet Jackson would have loved him right back! Bieber is on the cover of the new Vanity Fair, and though I usually enjoy making wicked fun of the kid, I'm going to sit this one out because he says some interesting things in the interview.

Read My Year-End Essay Again!

​Come on, kids. Do it for mama, just one more time. CLICK HERE and savor the wit and wisdom of my year-end wrapup, which is as full of insight and innuendo as a gay fortune cookie, devoured on lots of Percoset. Read both pages, if you don't mind.

Child Runs Into Other Child During Laser Tag

via​Because it's Sunday and the miners are out and no matter what you're going to be hearing about this for the next week at least, we might as well get it out of the way: Justin Bieber hit a 12-year-old during a game of laser tag. It's less ridiculous than it sounds because it sounds totally ... More >>

Adieu, Fair Pop-Tarts World; Justin Bieber Has a Thing for Sap

As always, we appreciate you spending the week with us here at Fork in the Road. But, in case you missed it, here's what the other food blogs have been up to... Eater bemoaned the fact that Pop-Tarts World will close this fall to make room for a new public plaza. Grub Street wondered whether Steph ... More >>

When Foods Attack...Celebrities! Paula Deen Hit by Ham and More

​The strange case of Home Shopping Network Host Claire Champlin being attacked by a watermelon reminds us that foods are not just for nourishment -- they can also serve as dangerous weapons. Recently, heartthrob Justin Bieber was hit by a water bottle as he performed onstage, which seemingly c ... More >>

Celebs Who've Never Gotten Into Trouble

​Are there any big names who've never made a huge, public mess of themselves? Who've never been caught doing drugs, engaging in a DUI, philandering on a spouse, pushing a parent down the stairs, cutting a lover in the eyeball, or stealing Sephora products?

A Nation of Justin Bieber Fans Threaten to Kill Miley Cyrus on Twitter

Last night, the Canadian industry savior and haircut titan Justin Bieber overcame a cold and a guest appearance from Sean Kingston to sell out Madison Square Garden. The performance was being taped for an upcoming 3D biopic, and thus Bieber brought out the big guns: Boyz II Men. (Usher, Jaden Smit ... More >>

Special Things for People Without Summer Fridays: The Anti-High-Five Dog and Bieber-Hating Cat

​Once upon a time, we hated high-fives with a passion. Then Foster made us start doing them regularly as a "morale-booster" around Runnin' Scared HQ, and, hey, now we even practice them on ourselves in the mirror to rev up for a morning of hardcore blogging. But this video of a dog with a fier ... More >>

Justin Bieber Cracks Up

His prepubescent falsetto can't last forever

Behold, the Mesmerizing Sight of Justin Bieber's Revenge: A Phone That Never, Ever Stops Ringing

Screenshot of the since deleted Tweet via Gawker​This weekend, a Detroit teen named Kevin Kristopik made the dubious decision to hack to Twitter account of Justin Bieber's best friend, Ryan Butler, thus obtaining Bieber's phone number. What Kristopik did next was not smart: he texted Bieber. ... More >>

Justin Bieber Contributes to Kiddie-Celeb Autobiography Genre

​Justin Bieber, tween pop heartbreaker extraordinaire, is writing a memoir entitled Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever: My Story. Whether or not the "writing" will be done by the 16-year-old Bieb himself, this represents an important new addition to a time-honored genre -- autobiographies "wr ... More >>

The Ultimate Justin Bieber Photo for Lesbians

​The New York Post brings word of "Biebians," the ex post facto lesbian subculture devoted to celebrating women who like other women who look like Justin Bieber. This is old news--lesbians looked like Justin Bieber long before Justin Bieber even existed, and there have been many to point out t ... More >>

Justin Bieber Played a Secret Show in Queens

​Seriously. While the softer section of the hipster demographic is waiting around for the Schumer-approved Williamsburg Pool Parties, Justin Bieber is holding it down all the way out in Queens. Like LCD Soundsystem before him, pocket-sized pop star Justin Bieber is doing it for the fans. So wh ... More >>

Because it's Memorial Weekend: Muppet Sam the Eagle Sings American Woman

Because sometimes we get a little patriotic, but mostly because we know you're either already peaced out of work for this glorious American weekend (Freedom Weekend?), or still at the office re-watching that Justin Bieber/glass partition video, again. May you spend a productive afternoon contemplat ... More >>

OK, Someone Really Needs to Teach Justin Bieber How To Open Doors

We already knew he had revolving door issues, but apparently you just need to keep any and all see-through partitions away from Justin Bieber, lest he violently collide with them. God forbid anyone ever put him inside one of those glass elevators. [Vulture]