Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

  • Voice Choices

    May 8, 2013


    Icona Pop move from MTV to Stage 48

  • Blogs

    September 15, 2012

    Mitt Romney is a Snooki Fan, Reaffirming That He's Out of Touch with America

    As reality television slowly drags itself into the oblivion, it is safe to say that we, as a country, are pretty much done with MTV's 'Jersey Shore.' The greased-up guido and obnoxious fist-pumping fad came and went but, nonetheless, it did happen: at one point, the show was the highest rated show e ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 27, 2012

    Introducing The Snooki Sandwich

    [See More Edible News: Aisle Of Man: Westside Market NYC's New Gendered Grocery Section | Lightsaber Chopsticks: May the Force Be with You and Your Lo Mein] What is in a Snooki sandwich? Apparently grilled chicken strips, mozzarella cheese, seasoned bread crumbs, Roma tomatoes, Italian dressing, an ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 12, 2012

    If You Google Searched "Snooki Nude" In The Last Four Days, You're Letting The Terrorists Win (We're Looking At You, Dallas)

    Much to your dismay, we're sure, nude photos of Jersey Shore star "Snooki" have surfaced and currently are making the rounds on the Internet. Snooki, as you know, is more of a punchline than an actual person -- often ridiculed for her "meatball"-esque appearance and Jersey-like demeanor. That said, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 7, 2012

    Snooki's Gorilla Beach Reportedly Hits Web; We Read The First Chapter (and Survive!)

    Is Snooki the Bret Easton Ellis of guidos? Her novel Gorilla Beach -- a Jersey Shore roman a clef, if you will -- will hit bookstore shelves May 15. claimed this afternoon to have gotten an exclusive copy of the first chapter, "Like a Slutty Virgin." Of course, we had guessed t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 10, 2012

    MTV Star Is Coming Out As Gay

    No, not Snooki. Paul Iacono was the young star of MTV's The Hard Times of RJ Berger, in which he was a sophomore with a large penis. He played young Patrick opposite Christine Ebersole in Mame and was in a version of Sail Away starring Elaine Stritch.

  • Blogs

    October 7, 2011

    Deadmau5, K-Holes, Screaming Females, And More: Your Guide To The Weekend's Biggest Shows

    The week brought us Jon Brion and Shellac and Sam Sparro (not to mention a handful of surprise Occupy Wall Street pop-ins), and that wide spectrum of genres is also represented in this weekend's concert listings. Tonight Deadmau5, who Maura has just informed me stands out as the only artist to be n ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2011

    Jersey Shoresical Is Not A Boresical

    ​The raucously low-class reality show Jersey Shore tends to spoof itself, so a musical mockery of it seemed to me like a bad idea. But the production I just saw at the Actors Playhouse--which was a hit at the Fringe Festival--was a winner, because it's fast-moving, with nonstop music and raun ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 9, 2011

    Malibu Beach, 1965. Identify The Stars

    I see at least three Oscar winners in these silent but riveting home movies taken by Roddy McDowall in Malibu in the kicky '60s. There's Jane Fonda, Ruth Gordon, and Julie Andrews, and of course, Tammy Grimes and...

  • Blogs

    July 28, 2011

    The Creature Behind Snooki's Success Is a Flatulent Horse

    I don't know why you would want to watch this either.As the fourth season of Jersey Shore creeps upon us like red tide, and we learn more about Bridge & Tunnel, a precursor MTV show that the Shore's guido-monsters ate, let us remember how hyperventilating poofball Snooki came to be.

  • News

    July 27, 2011

    Meet the Original JWoww and Snooki, Would-Be Stars of Bridge & Tunnel

    Brianna and Gabriella almost escaped from Staten Island. But MTV pulled the plug on the original Jersey Shore

  • Blogs

    July 18, 2011

    People Still Think New Jersey Is OK, Despite Jersey Shore

    ​A new poll has found that people either don't really care about the negative aspects of the Jersey Shore when evaluating the Garden State. Conducted by Fairleigh Dickinson University's PublicMind, the poll revealed that 43% of people who have seen the MTV show have a "favorable opinion" of Je ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 7, 2011

    Snooki Loves Bush: Jersey Shore Star Still Going Strong

    Just when you thought Snooki couldn't get any more crazy comes this video of the drunk Jersey Shore character dancing with a potted plant. What will she think of next? [via TMZ]

  • News

    June 22, 2011

    Reality-TV Porn

    When their reality-TV star fades, some male contestants turn to gay porn

  • Blogs

    June 15, 2011

    Tanning Ban for Minors Makes Headway in New York and New Jersey

    ​Insert Jersey Shore joke here. Soon, kids on the boardwalk may no longer be able to artificially bake in Jersey. The New Jersey Assembly Health Committee passed a proposal forbidding eager young "juiceheads" under the age of 18 from tanning via bed on Monday, and the full Jersey Assembly will ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 16, 2011

    First Gay Bar in an Atlantic City Casino: I Was There!

    ​It's on the 13th floor of Resorts' Ocean Tower, but here's hoping that won't be an unlucky roll of the dice. Resorts' LGBT marketing man Joel Ballesteros sent a bunch of us there this weekend for the gala opening, which started with a performance of the old-school drag revue "Believe--Divas ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 8, 2011

    New Jersey State Senator Mulling 'Snooki's Law'

    ​Okay, we're going to present a couple facts that will probably anger you, but they need to be introduced in order to report this story. 1) Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi was asked to speak at Rutgers University. 2) Over 2,000 students attended the lecture. 3) She was paid $32,000 by the state-funded ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 1, 2011

    Snooki Paid More Than Toni Morrison to Appear at Rutgers

    ​Not a joke: New York Times best-selling author Snooki will be paid $32,000 by the Rutgers University Programming Association for appearing at two "student-produced comedy Q&A sessions" yesterday. This has generated great controversy, as that's $2,000 more than the amount Toni Morrison, who, y ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 15, 2011

    Snooki Adds Wrestling to Her List of Many Talents

    Our tiny, tanned authoress really can do anything she sets her mind to, can't she? Here, Snooki has her own horribly overacted WWE moment, which, now that we think about it, is probably not all that different from being on the Jersey Shore. Snooki will wrestle Vickie Guerrero live at the Georgia Dom ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 23, 2011

    Jersey Shore Star Submits Semi Nude Photo!

    Playgirl​ Snooki's ex boyfriend, Jeff Miranda, is always semi-nude anyway as he prances down the boardwalk reeking of eau de Guido. But now he's more semi-nude. Jeff just submitted a shower photo to Playgirl--yes, them again--showing what he's sort of almost made of, and I guess it's his Mi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 11, 2011

    The Five Most Boring Types of Commenters on a Blog

    ​This isn't aimed at you folks, mind you. Just at people on other blogs who weigh in with unbearably cliched comments safe from the anonymity of their armchair.

  • Blogs

    February 11, 2011

    In Defense of My Beloved Snooki: The Best Valentine's Date Ever

    ​Jersey Shore star Snooki has been voted by Yahoo users as the worst Valentine's date. The New York Daily News News reports that she "got 41 percent of votes in a poll of omg! Yahoo readers on the woman with whom they would least like to spend Valentine's Day." This is so wrong: Snooki would b ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 9, 2011

    Guess Where Snooki's Novel Is Appearing on Bookshelves?

    ​This one will really make you spit out your gum. Since Snooki's real name is Nicole Polizzi, her amazing new novel A Shore Thing has been turning up on chain store bookshelves right next to the work of the alphabetically close Edgar Allen Poe!

  • Blogs

    February 9, 2011

    Snooki's Love Pendant Video Is Sort of Amazing

    In this video, which exists for the ostensible purpose of promoting Snooki's magical new love pendant, our tanned quintuple-plus threat and brand empress visits a psychiatrist, is hypnotized into love, and shares a pickle with a geek (played by Andy Milonakis). All this can be yours for $19, shippin ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 25, 2011

    Jersey Shore's Season 4 Italy Trip Is A Huge Mistake

    ​MTV has just announced that the cast of Jersey Shore will be heading to Italy for season four of their show. We're exporting our greatest national treasure to a country filled with a much more sex-fueled and corrupt government? This is a huge mistake. Here are five countries better suited for ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 20, 2011

    Snooki Beats Nicholas Sparks on the New York Times Best-Sellers List

    ​Yesterday she tweeted it. But when we didn't see Snooki's fiction debut A Shore Thing on the New York Times Best-Sellers list, (and when we heard, in fact, that sales of the book hadn't even been that great), we wondered...could our favorite teensy, tan empress of the beaches be confused? Cou ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 6, 2011

    Snooki to Own World, One Fuzzy Slipper at a Time

    ​Following in the plush footsteps of any double/triple/six-packed threat (what's with the Situation these days, anyway?), Snooki, who already, obviously, has a book out, not to mention her special limited edition New Year's Eve pendant, is set to unroll an unprecedented array of new "Snooki-br ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 4, 2011

    I Dished Bloomberg and Snooki on Lawrence O'Donnell's Show

    ​During last week's blizzard, I was kooky-crazy enough to take my life in my hands and ride my freakin' bike! And I found it a kind of wet and wild adventure, almost like surfboarding (but with rats instead of sharks around me). But the next day, when I took my bike out, all the snow had set ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 30, 2010

    Ousted from Times Square, Local Hero Returns to Jersey Shore to Execute "Snooki-in-a-Ball"

    ​Rest easy, friends, because our dear, displaced Snooki has found a home for New Years Eve! After being ousted from the Times Square ceremony in which she'd been "supposed to" drop in the ball "like a friggin' hampster," her homeland has taken her in again. Via the New York Times Arts Beat, sh ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 29, 2010

    Snooki-in-a-Ball Won't Be Dropped in Times Square After All

    via MTV​Sad (or happy?) news...well, let's just say it's conflicting: Apparently, that whole putting Snooki in a ball just like a little hampster and then dropping her into Times Square for the big midnight hurrah on New Year's Eve is not going to happen after all. Because it would be...crazy? ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 28, 2010

    Times Square Gets More Wi-Fi for Your Drunken New Year's Eve Messages

    See how they did that?​New Year's Eve 2011 in Times Square will be more than just Snooki-in-a-ball (Snooki actually in the ball, an image that has captivated us for longer than we'd like to admit, though in fairness, she herself has said she's going to be like "a freakin' hampster"). For all t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 9, 2010

    Snooki-in-a-Ball to Drop on Times Square on New Year's Eve

    Here is a ball, sans Snooki.​Today in things making our brains hurt a/k/a WHY GOD, WHY? We have this: Everybody's favorite shortest Jersey Shore star/novelist/beer-bong aficionado, our dear sweet eensy Snooki, will be put in a ball and "lowered into New York's Times Square to help ring in 2011 ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 15, 2010

    Condom Brand to Honor the Fortuitous Birth of Snooki

    ​It's Snooki's 23rd birthday next week (my, they grow up fast on beer bongs and UV rays), and to celebrate, she'll be having an elegant "VIP" fete at Pasha on Saturday night, reports the New York Post. It will be sponsored by LifeStyles condoms because, well, why wouldn't it be sponsored by Li ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 12, 2010

    Press Clips: Parker Spitzer Goes For Ratings Glory, Doggy Style

    ​It is no longer hailing, but it's supposed to be freezing outside. Inside, I have a fan blowing on my face. It's Tuesday. Press Clips, Day 12, Late Edition, right here:

  • Blogs

    September 30, 2010

    Snooki's Great American Novel Is Happening. But Who Will She Write Like?

    ​As we wait with bated, beer-bong-scented breath for Snooki's debut into the literati, we are plagued with questions. What will her book's title be? (A Shore Thing.) What will it be about? ("a girl looking for love on the boardwalk -- one full of big hair, dark tans, and fights galore," accord ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 29, 2010

    The Snooki Book, A Shore Thing, is Actually Happening

    Click to Enlarge.An idea for the cover.​Dear Struggling Authors of America, please read the following around friends, family, or other people who can protect you from harming yourself. And Jonathan Franzen, look out. You think you wrote The Great American Novel? Think again. Star Jersey Shore ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 8, 2010

    Jersey Shore's Snooki Found Guilty of "Annoying Others"

    ​Sometimes the headlines just write themselves. Spoiler: The Jersey Shore's embattled Snooki was found guilty of "annoying others on the beach with her antics," which included, apparently, using a beer bong, falling off a bike, and being entirely too tan (that's just our opinion).

  • Blogs

    September 1, 2010

    Jersey Shore's Trashiness Reaches Epic New Level: The Game Theory Approach

    ​Everyone knows Jersey Shore is trashy, but is that trashiness quantifiable in any realistic way? Apparently so, as the guidos of Jersey Shore are being used -- in such an explicit dirty manner -- as pawns in luxury goods consumerism warfare. How?

  • Blogs

    August 30, 2010

    Snooki's Boyfriend, Who Is Definitely Not Using Her for Fame, Proposes Via Magazine Cover

    ​Every post-modern girl of a certain age dreams of being proposed to on the cover of a high-class glossy magazine. And yet, only a few of us ever actually get to see that fantasy come true. A beer-bong toast, then, to the Jersey Shore's Snooki, whose ex-Iraq vet boyfriend of two weeks has seen ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 18, 2010

    Snooki Basically Charged as Existential Demon by N.J. Prosecutors

    ​And you thought Rod Blagojevich got off easy: Snooki has now been booked by Seaside Heights for that time she got arrested on the beach a few weeks ago. The charge?

  • Blogs

    August 1, 2010

    "Guido is Good": New York Post Aimlessly Plugs Jersey Shore Again

    ​Saturday's New York Post dedicated its entire cover to Snooki's arrest on the Jersey Shore, turning a few line gossip item into an overlong feature that read more like press release than even a puff piece. On Sunday, the cover was unfortunately occupied by huge news, leaving Jersey Shore only ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 31, 2010

    New York Post Shills For MTV's Jersey Shore With Full Snooki Arrest Cover

    ​Yesterday, upon the arrest of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, we got a lesson on Twitter reporting, as TMZ scoured feeds for beachfront witnesses of "America's beloved pint-sized troublemaker." Wait, who called her "beloved," you might be wondering. That's the New York Post in today's cover story, a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 30, 2010

    Journalism 101, How TMZ Got The Exclusive on Snooki's Arrest: via Twitter

    ​Watch carefully, Journalism majors. This is how you do it.

  • Blogs

    July 28, 2010

    Jersey Shore to Get Cast Member Who is Actually from New Jersey

    ​It seems that the fountain of Jersey Shore happenings will never run dry. The Post reports that a new cast member has joined the crew. Deena Nicole Cortese, of New Egypt, New Jersey, will be replacing villainous Angelina for Season 3.

  • Blogs

    July 27, 2010

    The Top Ten Lines from The NYT Profile of Snooki: A How-To Guide

    ​While we wait for our expert analyst to weight in on today's Jersey Shore-opened New York Stock Exchange (thus presenting us with the riveting conclusion to today's economic mystery: The Guido Effect on The American Economy), it might be worth revisiting some of the most incredible tidbits fr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 21, 2010

    Jersey Shore Cast Played Hardball, Will be Back for Season 3

    ​We were getting nervous for a minute there. The cast of the Jersey Shore was, up till today, on strike (everyone except Snooki and The Situation, that is). The status of Season 3 was unclear. Things were scary. Good news! Our favorite guidos, who had been holding out for more than their allot ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 12, 2010

    Snooki 2012: The Guidette's Political Platform via Meghan McCain Interview

    ​Meghan McCain took a break from having an opinion this week and sat down to interview Jersey Shore starlette, Snooki Polizzi. The interview was embedded with political insights that make us think Snooki could really give Sarah Palin a run for her money. Below, a comprehensive guide to the Sno ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 9, 2010

    The Faces of the Tan Tax's So-Called Reverse Racism: A Photo Gallery

    ​Don't you just get all riled up when politicians impose on the rights of our population's most discriminated demographic, Pale People? The Washington Post reports that, in fact, some people actually do. Cries of "reverse racism" are ringing in response to Obama's tax on cancer boxes because, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 10, 2010

    Jersey Shore's Snooki and Senator John McCain Confront Tanning Tax and Other Things That Are Totally Ruining America

    ​Okay, so this reality television personage known as "Snooki" (a/k/a Nicole Polizzi, you probably know her as "the girl who got punched in the face on the Jersey Shore") said some things about President Obama's proposed, totally bogus tanning tax during the second season's first episode. Well, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 9, 2010

    Manhattan Swingers' Club Wants Snooki To Host Their Upcoming Sex Party, Ewwwww Exclusive Manhattan swingers club Behind Closed Doors is looking to have Jersey Shore's Snooki host one of its monthly sex parties. The notoriously orange poof monster wouldn't be required to take off her clothes, however, or participate in any of the sexual activities at the ... More >>

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