Pope Benedict XVI

Pope Benedict Will Still Have The Services Of His Handsome Male Companon

Get this, Mary. Departing Pope Benedict gets to retain his hot male sidekick, Georg Ganswein, who as Andrew Sullivan says, "will be living with Benedict at the monastery inside the Vatican and keeping his day job as prefect of the new pope's household." Talk about One Man, Two Guvnors! (Or "two se ... More >>

Disgraced Cardinal Won't Be Part Of The Search To Replace Disgraced Pope

Cardinal Keith O'Brien, the most senior cleric in the UK, has announced that he won't be part of the big old jamboree that will help choose a new Pope. O'Brien tendered his resignation last year in the wake of allegations of "inappropirate behavior" with junior clergy back in the 1980s, when Jerry ... More >>

Best Sick Joke About The Pope's Retirement

Pope Benedict XVI is taking off his pretty dress and stepping down, which has led to all sorts of speculations, laments, and mostly, jokes. Like this one from @frankieboyle:

We Need a Young, Sexy Pope With a Great Brand and Killer Social Media Presence

Pope Benedict XVI shocked the world today when he announced that he will be resigning from his post on February 28th. Speaking in Latin to a group of cardinals, he said, "Before God, I have come to the certainty that my strengths, due to an advanced age, are no longer suited to an adequate exercise. ... More >>

Those Who Prey: Mea Maxima Culpa: Silence in the House of God

Alex Gibney rages against the church's cover-up of abuse

Hellbound?

Did You Just See The Virgin Mary?

The Virgin Mary might live in a tree in West New York, New Jersey, some now claim. Today's New York Times has a report that religious pilgrims have been flocking to the site, "making the sign of the cross and weeping at the base of a Ginkgo biloba tree with a strange knot that they believe resembl ... More >>

What is Going on in the Vatican? A Look at the VatiLeaks Scandal

What happens when you mix together the crazy plot twists of Dan Brown, the conspicuous nature of Julian Assange and a right-hand serviceman as powerful as Alfred was to Bruce Wayne? You have what the Times has called "perhaps the greatest breach in centuries in the wall of secrec ... More >>

Foreign Diplomats Owe New York City $17 Million in Parking Tickets

​As we freak out over possible $16 muffins purchased by the Justice Department -- how could they? Muffins? Muffins aren't even good -- and the overall implosion of the U.S. economy, let us freak out more, about something with some pretty egregious dollar signs. Back in May, Representatives Mic ... More >>

Papal Toilet Paper has Infallible Softness, Divine Durability

shop.renovaonline.net​Renova, a Portuguese paper company, is celebrating Pope Benedict XVI's upcoming trip to Madrid by releasing special edition Papal toilet paper. The yellow and white rolls--representing the colors of the Papal flag--are being released for World Youth Day. The product's des ... More >>

The Pope Talks Facebook: Real Friends Are Better Than Virtual Ones!

via Robot Nine​We've all been waiting with bated breath to see what the pope would say about our little Facebook obsession. And finally, here it is. He approves! Sort of. 83-year-old Pope Benedict has praised the potential of social networking -- but warned that "online friendships are no subs ... More >>

Pope Unwittingly Blessed Gay Event!

​Oh yes, heathens. In 2010, Pope Benedict gave the divine OK to condom use in certain instances, and now it turns out he also granted a heartfelt blessing to a gay pride festival in Canada! He's clearly putting the Sodom back in Gomorrah.

Pope Wants Worldwide Vigil For Defenseless Embryos

​Just in case you thought Pope Benedict XVI was starting to make too much sense with his support for condom use in certain cases (mostly for prostitutes so as not to spread AIDS), he came through on Saturday with an icy cold blast of conservatism. World leaders, he said in an address, should s ... More >>

Male Prostitutes Rejoice!

​For years, every hustler I know has been frantically wondering, "What does the Pope feel about condom use? I think he's, like, against it, right? I will only do what he says. He's the one I turn to for sexual wisdom, after all." As they've fucked, sucked, fisted, rimmed, and felched, many an ... More >>

Vatican Insists Condoms Still Suck, Pope Still Prude

​Despite the news yesterday that Pope Benedict XVI admits in a new book that condoms can be helpful in certain cases -- like for male prostitutes, so they don't get AIDS -- the Vatican wants everyone to know that sex is still bad. A Vatican spokesman said on Sunday (God's day) that the Pope's ... More >>

Pope Says Condoms Are Cool "In Certain Cases"

Jimmy Hat​Pope Benedict XVI writes in his new book, out Tuesday, that condoms can be used "in certain cases" like "to reduce the risk of [HIV] infection," according to the Sydney Morning Herald. Last year in Africa, the Pope told reporters that AIDS "cannot be overcome through the distributio ... More >>

Twenty Bucks Says the Pope Can't Even Type

​ The picture is via BuzzFeed (courtesy of Blogger Chen) because Pope Benedict XVI had a Vatican conference on culture, telling believers that new forms of communication "risk increasing a sense of solitude and disorientation." So don't have sex and definitely don't use condoms! This seems lik ... More >>

Gay Pride's Here! And I'm So Ashamed!

We're asking, so tell us: What about our civil rights?

Portugal Legalizes Same-Sex Marriage

​Today Portuguese President Anibal Cavaco Silva said that he would ratify a law making Portugal the sixth European country to legalize same-sex marriage. They join other nice places like Norway, Sweden, the Netherlands, Belgium, and Spain.

New York Times' Renewed Sense of Competition with New Funding Strategy: Satan

​Genius. Is there a better investment opportunity out there for a media outlet? The New York Times has apparently uncovered the answer to all of their fiscal issues of recent: Satan.

Amid Priest/Pope Fuss, Pedophiles Mount New P.R. Campaign: Call Us 'Minor-Attracted Adults'

Gee, bad timing by America's pedophiles: Just as a new fracas has broken out about Pope Benedict XVI's possible role in covering for priest molesters, pedophiles are creeping out of their closet to try to change their image with a new euphemism for themselves: "minor-attracted adults." While major ... More >>

Anticipating the Pope's Sexual Abuse Memo to Catholics

​In light of the hundreds of new sexual abuse allegations against the Catholic church, Pope Benedict XVI has a really, really good plan: He's going to write a letter. A letter intended to "help 'repentance, healing and renewal.' " He's going to sign it on Friday and send it out "soon afterward ... More >>

But He Still Got a First Down!

Can you believe this shit is still news? The last pope got shot, and the next day even the Catholics were all talking about the Boston Celtics. Anyway, people who were upset that Susanna Maiolo knocked over Benedict XVI at Midnight Mass will be happy to learn she has been "taken to a mental inst ... More >>

Atheists, Religious Abuse Support Group Team Up to Sue Church

​It's been a busy year for atheists, and they're not, as you might expect, slowing down for the holidays. NYC Atheists has been charging forward on many fronts in 2009, from letting people know you can be good without God on busses, to taking its message to the streets en Espanol. And now, th ... More >>

Pope Makes It Official: Dolan Consecrated as Archbishop

When we saw the headline at Catholic New York, "New Yorkers Can Watch Archbishop Dolan Receive Pallium on EWTN," we thought the poor man was sick and receiving some sort of chemotherapy. Happily, it actually meant that in a ceremony in Rome Pope Benedict XVI put a circular woolen band around the nec ... More >>

Angels & Demons Has a Need for Speed

New New York Archbishop Gets Right to Work

We tend to forget that, despite our godless liberal reputation, the Catholic Church plays a huge role in the life of New York. It holds spiritual sway over millions of our citizens and owns some prime real estate, which always buys a seat at the power table. Historically its archbishop has been a pr ... More >>

Pius XII Up for Pre-Sainthood; Jews Say, No So Fast

Daily Flog 8/4/08: Dumping patients, probing Mary-Kate, shooting nose-biting suspect, ratting out cops

Dreaming About the Pope: Reflections on Benedict XVI's Visit to New York

The Pope's Final Day in NYC

Here Comes the Pope!

Benny and the Jet: Greeting the Pope at Andrews Air Force Base

Preparing for the Pope

Horoscope

The Icon's Icon

80+ Artists Do Up the Dalai Lama in a Double Group Show

No Wafer for Rudy

Giuliani campaigns as a Catholic, but he's on the outs with God

Toronto Confidential

Mob scenes and murders: An action-packed installment of an all-encompassing festival

Pope's No Dope

Think the music industry invented copyrights? Behold the Vatican's old score.

Letters

The Omen

What's in a name? A hell of a lot, if you're the new pope.

Democracy Now

Annual collaborative fest puts the 'O' back in countronica

Morning Report 4/20/05
Crust Almighty! Rome Delivers a Pope to Domino's

Popewatch: Here Comes the 'Enforcer'!

TV Blesses the New Pope

Beatification begins for Benedict as soon as the cameras start to roll

Help From Above

America's Christian right is rewarded a hard-line pope for its crusades

NY Mirror

Cardinals Sing a Tough Tune

Ratzinger—now Pope Benedict XVI—a true hardliner

Gay Catholics Act Up

Confronting the Bishops From Within the Church

Sacrament of the Sick