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Blogs
January 27, 2013
Hillary, Roe v. Wade's 40th, and the Great Conservative Revival Not Working Out for Rightbloggers
Since the 2012 Presidential election, conservatives have been trying to think up ways to revive their movement. Last week a number of them approached the subject, including George F. Will (basically you're doing great don't change anything), Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal (basically you're doing g ... More >>
Blogs
December 16, 2012
After Newtown, Rightbloggers Agree: Guns Don't Kill People, Everything Except Guns Kills People
After the gruesome murders of children and teachers by Adam Lanza in Newtown, Connecticut, apparently mostly performed with a Bushmaster AR-15 ("the civilian version of the military's M-16 and M-4," says the New York Times, "a logical choice for anyone whose goal is to kill a lot of people in a shor ... More >>
Blogs
November 4, 2012
Rightbloggers Anticipate Romney Landslide, Denounce Nate Silver, Katy Perry
The election's Tuesday, and the whole political blogosphere is one endless screaming rah-rah for one candidate or another. We advise against all direct contact with it from now till next weekend. The preemptive victory dances of the left blogosphere are, as we never tire of paraphrasing Jed Leland, ... More >>
Blogs
October 21, 2012
Rightbloggers Say Romney Won 2nd Debate, And If He Didn't No Fair Because Liberal Media Bias
Don't look now, but the Presidential race seems to be neck-in-neck with just 16 days to go. Nervous? Think how they feel. Both Romney's and Obama's campaigns undoubtedly spent last week gearing up for the final push with phone banks, GOTV, last-minute ad blitzes, election fraud monitor training, etc ... More >>
Blogs
August 12, 2012
Rightbloggers Rejoice as Ryan Revives Romney, Reaganesquely
The ideologically fluid Mitt Romney surprised a lot of people this weekend by choosing as his Vice-Presidential running mate Wisconsin Rep. Paul Ryan, a hardcore conservative best known for frightening off independent voters. Democrats portrayed the choice as a gift. So did rightbloggers, often for ... More >>
Blogs
July 16, 2012
Rightbloggers Love Mitt Romney Since He Pissed Off Black People
Mitt Romney gave a speech at the NAACP promising to overturn "Obamacare," and got booed. Then he went to Montana and said the black people booed him because they wanted "free stuff." Rightbloggers hadn't been too enthusiastic about Romney before, suspecting that the father of Romneycare was not a t ... More >>
Blogs
May 13, 2012
Rightbloggers: Obama's Gay Marriage Move Means He's Trying to Win, Or Lose, Or Destroy America, Or Something
As everyone has heard by now, Pride Week came a little early to the White House as President Obama said, "I think same sex couples should be able to get married." He didn't push any legislation, and he said legalization should be left up to the states. But he is a U.S. President who has endorsed gay ... More >>
Blogs
May 6, 2012
Rightbloggers Continue Slow Progress Through Dreams from My Father, Are Up to Part about "Composites"
Dreams from My Father by Barack Obama came out in 1995 and has sold over a million copies, but to rightbloggers it is a constantly fresh source of discovery. For years, some of them have insisted that Obama didn't really write it. A few weeks back, they made much of the fact that a passage from it ... More >>
Blogs
April 9, 2012
Racist with an Explanation: Rightbloggers Defend John Derbyshire
Last week John Derbyshire, a now-former writer for National Review, published elsewhere an article that was plainly racist -- by which we mean, its racism was not veiled or masked in the manner that has become common among rightbloggers, but overt; it asserted that black people were less intelligent ... More >>
Blogs
March 19, 2012
Rightbloggers Denounce Rick Santorum's War on Porn -- As a Liberal Conspiracy
Obama's coming up for reelection, and gas prices and unemployment are high. So why do rightbloggers concentrate instead on cultural issues like abortion, contraception and Rush Limbaugh's opinion of Sandra Fluke? Some think it's because they're bunch of misogynists*. We think it's because they h ... More >>
Blogs
January 9, 2012
Rightbloggers Prepare to Swallow Their Santorum and Root for Romney
Since the recent Iowa one-two finish by Romney and Santorum, there've been a couple more debates and a lot of palaver about the GOP Presidential race. But let us level with you: Despite all our jokes about The Next President of the United States of The Week/Month, it's become painfully obvious tha ... More >>
Blogs
January 2, 2012
Surgin' Santorum! Rightbloggers Not So Frothy for This Week's Next President of the United States
The wheel of fortune has spun once again, and the GOP Next President of the United States of the Week is now Rick Santorum. Mind you, no one thinks Santorum will actually be the nominee. He's just running third in some optimistic polls -- of the Iowa caucuses, which is no bellwether. Yet all the wo ... More >>
Blogs
November 13, 2011
Rightbloggers Get Behind Newt Gingrich, This Month's Next President of the United States
The GOP Presidential race has had its share of joke candidates -- all of whom rightbloggers have taken seriously. There was Donald Trump; then the black Trump, Herman Cain; then Paul Ryan, Michelle Bachmann, Rick Perry, Chris Christie, and Herman Cain again. As erstwhile frontrunner Cain's campaig ... More >>
Blogs
October 30, 2011
Rightbloggers Double Down on the Second Coming of Herman Cain
Months ago, rightbloggers were celebrating the rise of Herman Cain. Then they grew restless, and moved on to Michele Bachman, Rick Perry, and Chris Christie, each of whom disappointed. Now Cain is back, hilariously leading in some GOP Presidential polls and winning some straw polls, too. Cain is pr ... More >>
Blogs
July 11, 2011
Ooga Booga: Rightbloggers Warn America of a Non-Existent Black Crime Wave
You probably know that, over the past few decades, crime rates in America's major cities have dropped sharply. New York, which was once a symbol of urban menace, is particularly safe, and tourists freely roam Bed-Stuy and Central Park at night. Even historically troubled Oakland has recently seen it ... More >>
Blogs
June 20, 2011
Rightbloggers Herald the Rise of Our Next President, Michele Bachmann. (Or Some Guy Who Isn't Running.)
In the future, everyone will be a serious Republican Presidential candidate for 15 minutes. We're close to that now. Last Monday several GOP contenders for the big job debated in New Hampshire, and Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann's relatively lulu-free performance appears to have pushed he ... More >>
Blogs
June 13, 2011
Weinergaterdämmerung: Rightbloggers Shoot Their Load on Weiner, Wife, Women, and New Yorkers
We see Anthony Weiner's penis, in this "if it seeds, it leads" media era, remains big news. The New York Representative's lewd but (so far as has been revealed) legal tweets have many pols calling for his resignation, and rightbloggers enjoying scandalicious multiple orgasms. The ever-developing st ... More >>
Blogs
June 5, 2011
Rightbloggers Ejaculate Over the Women of Weinergate
Here is what everyone knows about Weinergate: A picture of bulging underwear, which Democratic Congressman Anthony Weiner won't deny is his, exists, and a link to it appeared in his Twitter stream. Weiner says he didn't send it out himself, but was "hacked" or "pranked," depending, and he has been ... More >>
Blogs
May 23, 2011
Mitch Daniels Out of 2012 Race; Herman Cain is the Next President of the United States
Despite the speculation of Fox News ("he has a proven record of managing the kinds of fiscal problems that beset our nation"), the Washington Post ("a Daniels candidacy probably would be taken as a sign that the games are over for the Republican Party, that it is time to buckle down and organize to ... More >>
Blogs
May 16, 2011
Huckabee Out, Gingrich, Paul In, Which Rightbloggers Declare Good News for Herman Cain
There was some action in the GOP 2012 Presidential race last week, with Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul declaring themselves in and Mike Huckabee declaring himself out. Rightbloggers sifted the results, and found them good -- because there was at least one true conservative left whom they could support ... More >>
Blogs
February 21, 2011
Rightbloggers Denounce the Wealthy, Treasonous Schoolteachers of Wisconsin
The effort by Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker and the Republican-led state legislature to deprive the state's teachers of collective bargaining rights was catnip to rightbloggers last week. This is because it involves two of their traditional objects of hatred: Unions and public education. You kno ... More >>
Blogs
September 20, 2010
Rightbloggers Beat Off Charges of Lunacy in Christine O'Donnell's Masturbation, Satanism Remarks
When Christine O'Donnell beat Mike Castle last week to become the GOP nominee in the Delaware Senatorial race, a clown car pulled up and several bizarre O'Donnell quotes came piling out. The most famous of these, so far, are probably her remarks on the sure-fire comedy topics of masturbation and Sat ... More >>
Blogs
August 9, 2010
Prop 8, Michelle Obama, Ground Zero Mosque: Are Conservatives Basically The Honky Party?
Last week Judge Vaughn Walker's decision setting aside Prop 8 in California unleashed plenty of grumbling from rightbloggers. As it involves gay people, this was to be expected. There was also rightblogger outrage, also expected, that Michelle Obama and her daughters had a swell, privately-funded v ... More >>
Blogs
June 7, 2010
Rightbloggers Get Their God On by Defending Israel's Flotilla-Killas (Also: You Anti-Semite!)
A week ago, Israeli paratroopers took over a ship on the high seas that was part of a flotilla trying to flout Israel's embargo against Gaza. Those aboard the boat, which carried wheelchairs and such like, fought back against the invading Israelis, who retaliated by killing nine of them. Even some ... More >>
Blogs
June 7, 2010
Debrahlee Lorenzana Story Goes Global, Viral, Crazy
CBSEx Citibanker Debrahlee Lorenzana has been all over the national and local news, starting with last week's issue of the Voice and, most recently, hitting the TV morning show circuit, including appearances on Today and Good Morning America this morning -- despite her current employer JPMorg ... More >>
Blogs
May 24, 2010
Rand Paul: He May Be a Fool, Say Rightbloggers, But He's Our Fool
"Last night I saw Lester Maddox on a TV show With some smart-ass New York Jew And the Jew laughed at Lester Maddox And the audience laughed at Lester Maddox too Well, he may be a fool but he's our fool..." -- Randy Newman, "Rednecks" Last week, fresh from winning the GOP nomination for Senator Jim ... More >>
Blogs
February 18, 2010
CPAC Conservative "Woodstock" Kicks Off With Jokes About Ugly Liberal Women, Etc.
"Tea Partiers could crash CPAC's party," said UPI this morning (sourcing RedState's Eric Erickson, who demanded "a purging of the movement" -- he's big on purges), but there doesn't seem much at the Conservative Political Action Conference, which kicked off today in D.C., that TP people would ... More >>
Blogs
December 28, 2009
Crotch-Bomber Fails to Blow Up Plane, in Yet Another Disaster for Obama
There are a few ways to look at the case of the thwarted holiday crotch-bomber. On the one hand, we have a deluded fellow who, allegedly assured of eternal glory by jihadists who bade him sew explosive chemicals into his underwear, set his lap on fire during a Delta flight and, instead of the coo ... More >>
Blogs
November 4, 2009
Tea Party Over? Hoffman Concedes in NY-23, Democrat Owens Takes Seat Held by GOP Since '93 (Update: Rightbloggers React!)
Last week conservatives were telling us that the revolution was beginning in New York's 23rd Congressional District, where Conservative Party insurgent Doug Hoffman had knocked not-rightwing-enough Republican Dede Scozzafava off the ballot and was going to purify the GOP with a big victory. This m ... More >>
Blogs
November 3, 2009
Hoffman-Owens Race in Full Swing, Police Called
While we slog through our local races here in sleepy Gotham, the NY-23 Congressional election remains hilarious. Last weekend Republican candidate Dede Scozzafava "suspended" her campaign, in which she had come under merciless assault by supporters of Conservative Party nominee Doug Hoffman and was ... More >>
Blogs
October 15, 2009
Meghan McCain Titpic Uproar Continues Unabated
Meghan McCain posted this Twitpic, and you know what that means: Outrage! National coverage! "Meghan McCain Twitter Photo Sparks Controversy," says the Wall Street Journal. "The concept of simply not posting pictures of her breasts is not one she is familiar with," sniffs Alarming News. "Meg ... More >>
Blogs
August 26, 2009
Rightbloggers Observe Kennedy's Passing Pretty Much the Way You Would Expect
Rightbloggers observed the death of Ted Kennedy with their customary grace. "By my reckoning, he left the country worse off than he found it, and to the moment of his death supported legislation that, if enacted, will make it a lot harder for the generation of my children to succeed, thrive ... More >>
Blogs
June 12, 2009
New Trend: "Hottest Guys" in Social Media and Such Like
Everyone loves lists, especially on the internet. So it may have seemed reasonable to try and combine the two in Hottest Guys lists connected with the internet. We finished well out of the running, but bear no bitterness those desk jockeys who have been so laureled. Here is an example from the Hotte ... More >>
Blogs
May 5, 2009
What Happens When You Entrust Your Anti-Gay Movement to a Beauty Queen
When last we left failed Miss USA candidate Carrie Prejean, she was revving up the conservative base with her anti-gay marriage ministry. She even agreed to appear in an ad supporting "traditional marriage" (i.e., no homosexuals allowed). Then Prejean's topless model shot was revealed -- extremely ... More >>
Blogs
May 4, 2009
Rightbloggers on Defector Specter: Fewer But Better Republicans!
"The last mass trials were a great success. There are going to be fewer but better Russians." -- Ninotchka. Once upon a time -- as we pointed out elsewhere -- rightbloggers disapproved of purist liberal Democrats who were trying to drive moderates like Joe Lieberman out of their Party. This hun ... More >>
Blogs
April 3, 2009
Rightbloggers Angry Iowa is Making Them Get Gay-Married
Gay people are supposed to know about show tunes, so they'll understand when we say: There's nothing halfway about the Iowa way to treat you. The Iowa Supreme Court has unanimously said a ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional. New York and California have not done so much for the cause of mar ... More >>
Blogs
March 16, 2009
Rightbloggers Culture-War For John Galt, Against Jon Stewart and Meghan McCain
In Sunday's New York Times, Frank Rich wrote that culture warriors -- that is, those "intrusive and divisive moral scolds who thrived in the bubbles of the Clinton and Bush years" -- are being "laid off" in the Obama era, because people are too concerned with the genuine crisis of the economy to ... More >>
Blogs
January 26, 2009
Ready on Day One: Rightbloggers at the Inauguration
This week rightblogger Robert Stacy McCain said: "So far as I can tell, conservatives aren't going through anything like the grief/angst/outrage that Democrats went through after the 2000 and 2004 elections. There may be activists who would like to generate that kind of reaction, but most conserv ... More >>
Music
January 21, 2009
Way More Important Things to Worry About
How politics changed how we thought about music, if we thought about music at all
Blogs
December 30, 2008
Bristol Palin Has Her Baby; Wedding Suggested
Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol had a 7 lb., 7 oz., baby boy on Sunday, whom she and her boyfriend have named Tripp. To celebrate, some rightbloggers are pushing the happy couple to get married pronto. "What's up with this 'baby first, marriage later' thing?" asks Robert Stacy McCain. "What's wrong w ... More >>

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