Roman Catholicism

We Need a Young, Sexy Pope With a Great Brand and Killer Social Media Presence

Pope Benedict XVI shocked the world today when he announced that he will be resigning from his post on February 28th. Speaking in Latin to a group of cardinals, he said, "Before God, I have come to the certainty that my strengths, due to an advanced age, are no longer suited to an adequate exercise. ... More >>

Andrew Cuomo Honors Catholic Abortion Bully. This Week Officially "Timothy Cardinal Dolan Week" In New York

​On the same day Catholic Cardinal Timothy Dolan told reporters that he's "bolstered" by Governor Andrew Cuomo's assurances that he won't support a bill pending in the New York Legislature that would define abortion rights (NOTE: the Governor's Office declined comment when asked if Cuomo opposed t ... More >>

Archbishop Dolan In Rome To Be Made Cardinal

New York Archbishop Timothy Dolan has arrived in Rome, NY1 reported, after leaving from JFK International Airport last night. The flight was the first set in Dolan's journey to be elevated to cardinal. The New York Daily News caught Dolan as he was leaving his St. Patrick's residence yesterday eveni ... More >>

The Pope Talks Facebook: Real Friends Are Better Than Virtual Ones!

via Robot Nine​We've all been waiting with bated breath to see what the pope would say about our little Facebook obsession. And finally, here it is. He approves! Sort of. 83-year-old Pope Benedict has praised the potential of social networking -- but warned that "online friendships are no subs ... More >>

Pope Unwittingly Blessed Gay Event!

​Oh yes, heathens. In 2010, Pope Benedict gave the divine OK to condom use in certain instances, and now it turns out he also granted a heartfelt blessing to a gay pride festival in Canada! He's clearly putting the Sodom back in Gomorrah.

Vatican Insists Condoms Still Suck, Pope Still Prude

​Despite the news yesterday that Pope Benedict XVI admits in a new book that condoms can be helpful in certain cases -- like for male prostitutes, so they don't get AIDS -- the Vatican wants everyone to know that sex is still bad. A Vatican spokesman said on Sunday (God's day) that the Pope's ... More >>

Pope Says Condoms Are Cool "In Certain Cases"

Jimmy Hat​Pope Benedict XVI writes in his new book, out Tuesday, that condoms can be used "in certain cases" like "to reduce the risk of [HIV] infection," according to the Sydney Morning Herald. Last year in Africa, the Pope told reporters that AIDS "cannot be overcome through the distributio ... More >>

Twenty Bucks Says the Pope Can't Even Type

​ The picture is via BuzzFeed (courtesy of Blogger Chen) because Pope Benedict XVI had a Vatican conference on culture, telling believers that new forms of communication "risk increasing a sense of solitude and disorientation." So don't have sex and definitely don't use condoms! This seems lik ... More >>

Empire State Building Won't Light Up for Mother Teresa, then Lies, Which Mother Teresa Really Would Have Hated (But Forgiven)

​The Empire State Building is privately owned, and as such, they can do whatever the hell they want -- lighting themselves in pink and red for Valentine's Day, or honoring the Simpsons, or whatever. So, when they said no to lights honoring Mother Teresa's upcoming 100th birthday on August 26, ... More >>

New York Times' Renewed Sense of Competition with New Funding Strategy: Satan

​Genius. Is there a better investment opportunity out there for a media outlet? The New York Times has apparently uncovered the answer to all of their fiscal issues of recent: Satan.

Anticipating the Pope's Sexual Abuse Memo to Catholics

​In light of the hundreds of new sexual abuse allegations against the Catholic church, Pope Benedict XVI has a really, really good plan: He's going to write a letter. A letter intended to "help 'repentance, healing and renewal.' " He's going to sign it on Friday and send it out "soon afterward ... More >>

Pope Makes It Official: Dolan Consecrated as Archbishop

When we saw the headline at Catholic New York, "New Yorkers Can Watch Archbishop Dolan Receive Pallium on EWTN," we thought the poor man was sick and receiving some sort of chemotherapy. Happily, it actually meant that in a ceremony in Rome Pope Benedict XVI put a circular woolen band around the nec ... More >>

Angels & Demons Has a Need for Speed

New New York Archbishop Gets Right to Work

We tend to forget that, despite our godless liberal reputation, the Catholic Church plays a huge role in the life of New York. It holds spiritual sway over millions of our citizens and owns some prime real estate, which always buys a seat at the power table. Historically its archbishop has been a pr ... More >>

Dreaming About the Pope: Reflections on Benedict XVI's Visit to New York

The Pope's Final Day in NYC

Here Comes the Pope!

Benny and the Jet: Greeting the Pope at Andrews Air Force Base

Preparing for the Pope

No Wafer for Rudy

Giuliani campaigns as a Catholic, but he's on the outs with God

St. Brigid's Gets 2nd Reprieve

Another Village Demo Targets Church

Outing Cardinal Egan

A priest's lawsuit alleges the Catholic Church is hiding pedophile clergy—and offers a stunning reason why

Pope's No Dope

Think the music industry invented copyrights? Behold the Vatican's old score.

The Omen

What's in a name? A hell of a lot, if you're the new pope.

Morning Report 4/20/05
Crust Almighty! Rome Delivers a Pope to Domino's

Popewatch: Here Comes the 'Enforcer'!

TV Blesses the New Pope

Beatification begins for Benedict as soon as the cameras start to roll

Help From Above

America's Christian right is rewarded a hard-line pope for its crusades

Cardinals Sing a Tough Tune

Ratzinger—now Pope Benedict XVI—a true hardliner

Letters

Bush Places U.S. Under Cardinal Law

Pope Springs Eternal—But Why?

Why one sinner can't cry for John Paul

The Pope's CIA File

New released papers show link between church, spooks against Soviet Union

Pope and Circumstance

When the pontiff dies, the rituals commence. How many in favor of "pope Kevin"?

The Pope and the CIA

The Pope Is Dead: Why You Should Care

John Paul II made the whole world listen, on matters from birth control to the Iraq war.

Bombs Away

The truth about pilots, the pope, pot, and the Nazis' favorite dwarfs

Kerry's Catholic Question

Cardinal Edward Egan faces a defining moment in the 2004 race for the White House

Gay Catholics Act Up

Confronting the Bishops From Within the Church

More Sins of the Fathers

Catholic Women Blast Sex Abuse and Sexism

The Pope Says 'Dope'

Mass Hysteria

Two New Inflammatory Films Get the Catholic Church Hot and Bothered

Rocking the Bishops

The Spirit Moves at the Catholic Conference

Is Nothing Sacred?

The Church vs. the Irreverent Media

Burning Issues:

Gay Catholics Try to Face Down the Church's Demons

Cardinal Knowledge

Church Leaders Can't Run From the Scandal, but They Can Hide

Who Did Kill Christ?

A ‘Blood Libel’ Igniting Pogroms

Father Frank's Crusade

A Staten Island Priest Leads a Costly and Well-Organized Campaign Against Abortion

The Archbishop's Tale

Egan’s Bridgeport Record Offers Little Hope to Catholic Progressives