Royalty

Come And Get Your Topless Kate Middleton Photos

Here they are, loveys! Don't they look like marvelous little crumpets in the sun? Or maybe like some bangers waiting for some mash? And lord knows what kind of Shepherd's pie the woman has!

A British Tabloid Finally Runs The Naked Prince Harry Pix

The British dailies are generally scum-sucking, low-level, trash-scouring rags that wouldn't be fit to stuff up a Prince's mistress as a tampon. And that's what I love about them. But they were suddenly oh so tasteful when those bare-bum photos of Prince Harry emerged from a Vegas game of "strip b ... More >>

British Royals Usher In Bold New Era: Women Rule!

​The British monarchy has finally changed an antiquated set of rules that everyone had forgotten about. Up until now, the rules for British royal succession were that sons trumped daughters no matter what, even if the daughters were older. There also was, until today, a rule barring would-be m ... More >>

New York Has Lost Its Spot as the World Fashion Capital Because of Kate Middleton

​A number of confusing metrics have been recalculated and re-algorithmed (sp?) and numbers have been crunched and lo and behold, New York has lost its spot as the number one fashion city in the world -- to London. London! And it's all because of Kate Middleton's unprecedented popularity. The G ... More >>

Prince Harry Gets A Comic Book And Graphic Novel, We Go Slightly Insane

​Big news: Prince Harry is getting his own comic book and graphic novel come August. Both are called "The Royals: Prince Harry" and both feature creepy cover art. In one version Harry has brown hair and kind of looks like George W. Bush (anyone else see it?) while a framed picture of Diana in ... More >>

Prince Harry Not Attending This Year's Governors Island Polo Match

​Polo is once again coming to Governors Island this weekend for the fourth annual Veuve Clicquot Polo Classic, but this year it is without what has become its main attraction: Prince Harry. The city tittered with excitement last year when Harry landed on our shores for a summer jaunt. Back the ... More >>

Royal Wedding Junk Is Up for Sale -- Get It Before the Rapture!

​The Royal Wedding happened way back in a world in which Osama Bin Laden was still alive. Remember, Prince William married commoner Kate Middleton, which made them the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge? The wedding was attended by crying children, both Beckhams, and even silly hats (more on that i ... More >>

Kate and Wills, Together at Last! The Royal Wedding Liveblog

​Good morning! It's your royal wedding bloggers, Rosie Gray, Francesca Stabile, and Jen Doll, here in these wee hours munching pretend scones and mainlining coffee so we can tell you exactly what's happening on this glorious day of April 29, 2011, the much-anticipated day of nuptials between P ... More >>

Kate Middleton's Wedding Dress Revealed!

​Perhaps we're in the small percentile that cares about the Royal Wedding enough to wake up at this ungodly hour. Though in our defense, we were in diapers during Princess Diana's Royal Wedding, so this is our first go at a sovereign shebang. And really, who gives a rat's ass that our curiosit ... More >>

Royal Wedding Commandeers Empire State Building, Too

​On this Friday, April 29, 2011, the Empire State Building will be lit up blue, white and red in honor of "the British Consulate General in New York, in celebration of the royal wedding of His Highness Prince William and Miss Catherine Middleton," according to the official lighting schedule. G ... More >>

Prince William and Kate Are Murderers!

​A friend of mine who stayed awake during history class way back then just had this startling observation: "Why are we paying so much attention to royals like Prince William and his new wife Kate Middleton?

Today in El Diario: Colombians Know How to Throw a Royal Wedding Party

​Latinos to celebrate royal wedding Colombians always find a reason to throw a party, according to the Spanish-language daily. In England, there are said to be 5,500 neighborhood parties planned to celebrate Friday's royal wedding -- and some of these will be hosted by Colombians. At these e ... More >>

And Here Is the Royal Wedding Route in 3D

This is not quite as good as a cat video, but here it is, anyway: The royal wedding route in 3D, thanks to Google Earth, makers of other things in 3D that you can share with your friends on the Internet, because 3D is either really retro or really modern or just another way to see the route of the r ... More >>

Royal Wedding Betting Odds, Because Degenerate Gamblers Need Romance Too

​British bookmakers William Hill have released odds for a series of events on and around the royal wedding. They are also changing their name for the day to "William & Kate" because what are gambling addicts going to do, not gamble due to a stupid name? The list of odds includes standard offer ... More >>

Royal Wedding Forecast: RAIN!

But your hair, your beautiful hair!​Bad, horrible, awful, terrible news: The Telegraph reports (in almost 600 words, no less) that heavy showers are forecasted for Friday's royal wedding ceremonies in London. Stay calm, everyone; if we can just have all the commoners climb on each others' shou ... More >>

Who Is Most Likely To Embarrass Kate Middleton On Her Wedding Day?

via Kate Middleton For The Win ​Kate Middleton, lest we even begin to forget, is a commoner. Naturally, she has some embarrassing family members, as the British tabloids have been sure to uncover thoroughly. For example, there's Katrina Darling, a burlesque dancer and second cousin of Kate. Then t ... More >>

Royal Wedding Roundup: Guest List Confirmed, Beer Banned, Roses Planned

via Kate Middleton For The Win ​The Most Important Wedding Of Our Time is less than a week away, and the official guest list and seating plan have been confirmed. Not a lot of surprises among the 1,900 lucky invitees: Elton John, David Beckham and Posh Spice, Guy Ritchie, other royals from aro ... More >>

The 20 Craziest Names on the Royal Wedding Invite List

​As we mentioned yesterday, the Daily Mail thinks they've gotten a hold of the Royal Wedding guest list. The 350 invitees run the gamut from yoga teachers to barons and Beckhams; and notably, both Kate and Prince William were able to sneak a few exes onto the list, as was Prince Charles, who w ... More >>

The Royal Wedding PEZ Dispenser Is Our Ultimate Royal Wedding Gift

​The royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton is on Friday, April 29, and we've finally found the one piece of royal wedding merchandise that our heart truly desires. We've already bought the royal wedding garden gnomes and William and Kate teabags. And we've had five royal wedding c ... More >>

The Royal Wedding Cocktail

​Yes, there's a cocktail to commemorate the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. Of course there is; there's a royal wedding everything. It's a punch made with gin, that most British of liquors. The recipe, according to People (keep in mind this was created by "mixologist Dan Warner" who ... More >>

What Happens at Prince William's Bachelor Party Stays at Prince William's Bachelor Party

​While the House of Windsor knows full well how to make a media splash (just look at the Royal Wedding website) they are being curiously reticent about the matter of Prince William's bachelor party. All we know is that the party involved 22 of William's "closest friends," that they went to a f ... More >>

The 7 Most Ridiculous Royal Wedding Products

​You simply can't have a royal wedding without a classy assortment of royal wedding branded products! Of course, we've all seen the mugs and buttons and teddy bears. But if you really want to celebrate the most important royal wedding of our time, THE ROYAL WEDDING TO END ALL ROYAL WEDDINGS, t ... More >>

The Royal Wedding Website Is Here! The Royal Wedding Website Is Here!

Shiny, happy royals.​Almost as thrilling as those two glorious brunettes with the funny accents whom we don't even know (personally) getting hitched in some famous abbey far across that large body of water that separates us Americans from a whole shit-ton of tea is today's news that THE ROYAL ... More >>

Prince William and Kate Middleton: I Don't Bloody Care!

I didn't give a royal shit about Prince Charles marrying Princes Diana way back when that wedding was crammed down our throats, but at least that one had some glamour and promise to it. But now that we know the horrors--from adultery and divorce to lethal stalking by paparazzi--that can ensue from ... More >>

Analyzing Prince William and Kate Middleton's Wedding Invitation

​Prince William and Kate Middleton's wedding invite has arrived! Are you one of the lucky 1,900 to receive one? Are you this girl? If so, time to give up sweetie, it's all over. Forthwith, an analysis of the Most Important Royal Wedding Invitation of Our Time.

Teenager on Hunger Strike for Royal Wedding Invite Is Hungry

Not the First Time the British Empire Is Responsible for a Hunger Strike​19-year-old Estibalis Chavez has been camped outside of the British Embassy in Mexico City for over a week, refusing to eat. Her cause? She wants to be invited to Prince William and Kate Middleton's wedding. Will somebody ... More >>

Snoop Dogg Has Written A Song For Prince William's Bachelor Party

​Yes, in an attempt to set U.S./U.K. diplomatic relations back to a pre-Revolutionary War level, Snoop Dogg has announced that he's written a song to commemorate Prince William's last night as a free man. The song is called "Wet." It will premiere later today on Snoop's site. Try and guess the ... More >>

10 Facts About Prince William and Kate Middleton to Impress and Amaze at the Thanksgiving Table

​The other sites may tell you how they met (at the University of St. Andrews), how long they dated (8 years), or how much her ring costs (£300,000)...But here at Runnin' Scared, we'll tell you the esoteric stuff you REALLY want to know about the prince and future princess of England. Herewith ... More >>

Prince William Gives Kate Middleton the Ring His Cheating Dad Once Gave His Deceased Mum

via People​Tradition is very important to royals! As such, Prince William has given his betrothed, the lovely (albeit middle-class -- which actually makes us like her more) Kate Middleton, a big honking sapphire surrounded by diamonds that, actually, was the very engagement ring Prince Charles ... More >>

Queen Joins Facebook, the "Final Frontier" of Digital Technology

​At long last, the Queen of England has a Facebook page. Well, actually, it's the entire "official British Monarchy" page, which went live this morning and allows you to receive thrilling updates from the British family if you "like" it. Similar to England itself, the page represents dueling f ... More >>

In Light of the Princess Diana Lottery Bust: This Is What a Scam Looks Like, People

​Four men have been busted and charged in New York with the oldest, possibly worst trick in the post-modern book: Email-spamming people that they'd won the "$5 Million Princess Diana Lottery." Apparently some people were enticed, on the promise of Diana's supposed millions, to give up their ba ... More >>

Queen Elizabeth Visits NYC, Is Impervious to the Elements

​Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth dropped by New York yesterday for her third official visit to the city as queen (after visiting Canada for nine days -- and we only got five hours -- what's up with that?). She spoke at the U.N., went to Ground Zero, and did a memorial service for British citizens ... More >>

Eligible Bachelor Alert: Prince Harry Hits NYC

​Ladies, ladies, ladies. It's time to dig deep for that Chelsy Davy impersonation and maybe freshen up your roots, because a real, live prince is in town this weekend. And even though he's only third in line for the throne and has, to be fair, exhibited some behavior perhaps ill suiting the cr ... More >>

Sarah, Duchess of York, Busted on Camera Selling Out Ex-Husband for $720K

​In the U.K. they do Punk'd with way higher stakes. Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, was caught on tape selling access to her ex-husband, Prince Andrew, Duke of York (and Queen Elizabeth II's son) for £500,000. The thing is, it was all a stunt by British tabloid News of the World, who wer ... More >>

2010 Tonys: Nominations Announced, Big on Idiot Material

​The 2010 Tony nominations are out, and the yearly ceremony that becomes more and more designed to persuade people from anywhere but New York City to spend money on theater is soon to follow. The idea behind the Tonys is simply to get Broadway to appeal to the rest of America in a big, fancy ... More >>

The Royal Family Diverts, Oleanna Provokes, Ain Gordon's Disaster Mirrors Ours

Doug Hughes's Labor of Love and Reprisal, Royal Family

The director wrangles one of the biggest, most stellar casts of the season

Barrett Talks Rudy's Terror Sheikh Ties on MSNBC

Royal Pains

How the British monarchy survived the death of the people's princess

Congress Sinks Port Deal

Dubai firm swamped by public opinion

Saudi Prince Spends $40 Million for American Minds

How about a little free transparency instead?

The Royal Business

In this slick little Bush family saga, Bandar is the prince, and we're the paupers

How Are the Corgis?

Forget Tolkien: When it comes to figuring out the British royals, turn to Peake

Why the War Works

The Pentagon's Path From Osama to Saddam

The Emir and His Lieutenant

Al Qaeda’s Bosses Exploit Arab Desperation Using Islam as Their Calling Card

Saudi Intelligence: Bin Laden Has No Nukes

Prince Tries to Calm World Fears

Why the U.S. Can't Lean on Saudi Arabia

Royals Keep One Eye on Fortune, Other on Palace Keys

Osama bin Laden: Our Man in Afghanistan

The Turncoat

Paranoia Runs Deep

Conspiracy theories have seeped into the heart of the American public