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Seven Depressing Things About Scary Movie V That Have Almost Nothing to Do with the Movie Itself

The Top Eight Celebrity Tax Evaders

After clutching at the spotlight, a lot of stars learn how to evade things--like parapazzi, fans, and especially the IRS. Here's a very timely summation I was just sent which details the top celebrity tax evaders of all time. It's free, so don't even think of writing it off! Top Celebrity Tax Evad ... More >>

Super Bowl Commercial Week: Brad Pitt Ditches the Paparazzi (and Jennifer Aniston) on a Beer Run

Despite opposing claims from TMZ, celebrities are actually nothing like us. Take, for example, this 2005 Heineken commercial starring a beer-thirsty Brad Pitt. In it, the star uses some stealth techniques to avoid the legions of photographers who capture his every move. The ad ran on the heels of ... More >>

Barrymore

Review: Kanye's Sex Tape G.O.O.D. Music, Cruel Summer

By David Thorpe [Note: I thought I had a pretty hot scoop when I snagged a copy of Kanye West's notorious sex tape, which remains unseen by most of the public. Unfortunately, my editor didn't think a review of an ill-gotten celebrity porn clip was appropriate for a reputable family blog like Sound ... More >>

Tom Cruise is 50: It's Time To Grow Up

You're going to hear a lot about the troubles that Tom Cruise finds himself in as he turns 50 years old today. We thought we'd take a different tack. We've often thought that Rona Barrett's 1984 interview of a pre-Scientology Tom Cruise is one of the most revealing. We see a young man with half a d ... More >>

'The Avengers' Makes Shawarma Sales Skyrocket

When my friend from Los Angeles was visiting the city last week, he made a point to take a picture of the shawarma shop next to my apartment and text the photograph to his buddies back at home. Before The Avengers, he'd never heard of the stuff -- and neither did his group of friends back in L.A. ... More >>

Brian McKnight Would Like To Teach You A Thing Or Two (About Getting The Internet Hot & Bothered)

Brian McKnight, the R&B singer known for sultry songs like "Back At One," will perform with the Duke Ellington Orchestra at the Blue Note next month, with two shows each night from May 16 to 18. For some reason, though, the press release heralding this engagement doesn't mention the song he released ... More >>

Live: Fiona Apple Can't Help It At The Bowery Ballroom

Fiona Apple Bowery Ballroom Monday, March 26 Better than: Holding it all in. Before Fiona Apple took the stage at the Bowery Ballroom last night, Little Richard's "The Girl Can't Help It" pumped out of the speakers, its flirtatiously skipping beat booming throughout the packed room. The tale of a ... More >>

Toddlers & Tiaras Mom Sues Over Writeups Of 5-Year-Old's "I'm Sexy..." Performance

Susanna Barrett is steaming mad. Yes, she lets her daughter enter pageants and go on a reality show. Sure, she didn't stop her from singing along with "I'm Sexy and I Know It" for a charity event crowd at a nightclub. (That's the song by by LMFAO -- you know, Laughing My Fucking Ass Off.)

David Lee Roth and Kanye West Get Creative in 2012

Toxic Shock

Britney Spears and the artlessness of the chase

Cocktail Consultant Teaches 'How to Behave in a Bar' Class; Dan Aykroyd Has 21,000 Bottles of Crystal Head Vodka Stolen

​Bars are serving up flowers in cocktails around the city, including elderflower and violet in a Howard Hughes at The Lion, lavender in a No. 6 at Imperial No. 9, and hibiscus in the Hibiscus Punch at Koi. [NY Post] At Provocateur, a nightclub in the Meatpacking district, a new menu of season ... More >>

Bin Laden Audio Recording "Puzzling"; New York Ranger Found Dead

​An unreleased audio message from Osama Bin Laden recorded just before his death has been described as "puzzling" and "a head scratcher" by an official. In the recording, Bin Laden talks about the revolutions in Egypt and Tunisia, but not Libya, Yemen, or Syria. It's confusing that Bin Laden would ... More >>

Porn Producer Offers Pippa Middleton $5 Million To Star In Film

​Pippa Middleton has an opportunity to make a quick buck or two with relatively little effort! Porn producer Steven Hirsch, the head of Vivid Entertainment, is offering Kate's little sister $5 million to appear in just one scene in one of his movies. And if Pippa wants to bring along brother James ... More >>

Nicolas Cage Bailed Out of Jail By Dog the Bounty Hunter

​Here's a thing that makes sense: Dog the Bounty Hunter, of the eponymous TV show, bailed Nic Cage out of jail following his arrest in New Orleans this weekend. Dog posted the $11,000 bail on Saturday morning. He told E!, "I am a truly dedicated fan of Mr. Cage and will not be granting any intervi ... More >>

Mafia Disorganized; 17 Killed in Tornados; Radioactivity Rises Off Japan Coast

​The Mafia is out of commission. Rather, the Mafia Commission, the caucus of leaders of the five main crime families, apparently hasn't met in 25 years. Cue "disorganized crime" joke. [NYDN] A tornado warning has been issued for parts of Georgia as the death toll from recent twisters rises to 17. ... More >>

Congratulations, America: We Have Made Charlie Sheen More Famous Than Ever

​You know who we love, as a nation, more than a role model, a hero, or even a person who fucks up and then repents and goes on to better and more responsible things? We love an unmitigated fuck-up who fucks up again and again, hurting himself and others, each time becoming more and more mired ... More >>

Charlie Sheen Parties Hard With Porn Star Kacey Jordan: Her 10 Best Films

​Charlie Sheen was hospitalized last night after partying with 22-year-old porn star Kacey Jordan (and 4 other women). We all know how he picks up the ladies, so we weren't surprised to hear about his methods of scoring with Jordan. TMZ reports that "Jordan was contacted by a 3rd party on beha ... More >>

Jared Loughner Posed in a G-String With His Gun

​Today's most viscerally upsetting Arizona news comes thankfully without visual accompaniment as of yet, as the New York Times reports that gunman Jared Loughner was having photos developed at a local Walgreens, which depict him posing in a g-sting and holding his Glock 9mm. Rest assured this ... More >>

Hollywood Rehab: Henry Jaglom's Self-Aware Queen of the Lot

Winter Guide: Iron & Wine Hop on Pop

Your fake name is good enough for him--Sam Beam chats about his new album

The Ballad of Kim Kardashian and The-Dream: A Speculative Musical

​Yesterday, TMZ brought word that the reality television star Kim Kardashian was in the studio with superproducer and SOTC hero The-Dream, working on a record. "If The-Dream ends up writing a whole album for/about Kim Kardashian, the Internet is liable to just blow the fuck up," a colleague wr ... More >>

Charlie Sheen's Hotel-Trashing Not All That Impressive, Actually

Horrors, an unmade bed! (via TMZ)​As everyone gasps in shock, clucks "how could he?", and professes their most earnest hopes that he gets help while secretly loving the big, drunken, drugged, (allegedly) woman-beating/hooker-seeking/room-trashing mess that is Charlie Sheen, we're going to go o ... More >>

New York Post Shills For MTV's Jersey Shore With Full Snooki Arrest Cover

​Yesterday, upon the arrest of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, we got a lesson on Twitter reporting, as TMZ scoured feeds for beachfront witnesses of "America's beloved pint-sized troublemaker." Wait, who called her "beloved," you might be wondering. That's the New York Post in today's cover story, a ... More >>

Vampire Weekend Cover Model Ann Kirsten Kennis Sees Herself Everywhere

​Frankly, this lawsuit is getting a little depressing. The internet crowed when TMZ first broke the news that the mysterious woman on the cover of Vampire Weekend's Contra was suing both the band and the man who claimed to have taken the photograph. Then she turned out to be a pretty nice lady ... More >>

Another Day, Another Tiger Woods Mistress (This Time With Child)

​Some days we almost feel a little bit sorry for Tiger Woods. Almost. Like when we hear that yet another mistress (a dime a dozen, these) has come forward and blah, blah, blah. But this time the story has a twist! "Adult film actress" Devon James has announced that he is the father of her 9-ye ... More >>

Reality Star Gets Paid Peanuts!

Shooting from the hips about Allen Ginsberg, Ron Galella, and other provocateurs

Getting Child-Murdered In An M.I.A. Video May Not Be the Best Career Decision, It Turns Out

This image brought to you by Hipster Runoff--who else?​And the award for best coverage of red-headed actors who are executed at close range in M.I.A. videos goes to TMZ, who not only tracked down and interviewed the burgeoning Ian Hamrick last week ("he sounds like a 50-year-old philosopher as ... More >>

More On Drake/The-Dream's "Shut It Down": "Lonely Bloggers All Over The Internet Are Aroused"

​This young blogger gentlemen has an intriguing take on my new favorite song of all time: its status as a world-class "FTL" anthem, the charms of Dream shouting out TMZ, why certain "lonely blogger" types (ahem) have instantly gone nuts over it, and, most notably, whether this is a song for th ... More >>

You Will Have to Wait Until Lil Wayne Gets Out of Jail to Get His Autograph

​Though it may have been a decent way to for Wayne to while away the days in prison, and though the mind boggles at the prison economy that could've sprung up around Lil Wayne signatures (that's worth like a box of cigarettes at least, right?), alas, it is not to be. TMZ reports that Wayne has ... More >>

Axl Rose Also Has Some Thoughts On Those Guns N' Roses Fashion Week Shows

If you weren't there, have a Red Stripe and fuck off. Unfortunately he took to Twitter several hours before our own Zach Baron unleashed his own visceral rant re: GNR's two "secret" shows here last week, but Axl's own thoughts are always worth perusing, if only because rumors/jibes/accusations sw ... More >>

Michael Jackson Autopsy Reveals Thin Hair, Closed Bottle of Urine

​The Michael Jackson autopsy report is out, and reveals only a few heretofore unknown details. For instance, scene investigators found "near the foot of the bed... a closed bottle of urine atop a chair." TMZ contacts Dr. Arnold Klein, a former member of Jackson's medical team, who explains, "T ... More >>

Bailout to Bailout: Chesley Sullenberger's Junk Plane Will Be Auctioned for Scrap by Junk Company AIG

Good riddance to an ill-fated plane. The Airbus A320 jetliner that lost a battle with birds and then a life-or-death battle with hero pilot Chesley Sullenberger in last year's "Miracle on the Hudson" is finally headed for the auction block and then the scrap heap. Shortly after the one-year anniv ... More >>

Jay Leno Takes Over Tonight Show: TMZ

TMZ stakes it, and the world reverberates: Jay Leno is moving to 11:35 on weeknights on NBC. That makes Leno, by the ancient rules of television, the host of the Tonight Show, which has heretofore been Conan O'Brien's job. As O'Brien has refused to change his time slot, barring a coup of angry Cocoh ... More >>

Tila Tequila Canceled By Larry King's Show!

​The unexpected has happened and late heiress Casey Johnson's lady love Tila Tequila was booted from tonight's Larry King Live in favor of more illustrious guests--namely the authors of the political book Game Change and the third White House party crasher. Yesterday, TMZ claimed Tila was all ... More >>

Jayson Williams Said to Have Fractured Neck in Maybe-Drunk Driving Crash

The Times said former Nets star Jayson Williams was "slightly hurt" in his early-morning alleged-DUI crash, but TMZ says that he fractured his neck. The Post assures readers Williams has not been paralyzed. Williams ran his Mercedes into a tree as he was coming off the FDR Drive at 20th Street a ... More >>

Michael Musto's Year (and Decade) in Review!

Gaga for Google and every twittle thing that made the Aughts fraught with fakery and fun

Brittany Murphy dead at 32

​Actress Brittany Murphy, 32, was pronounced dead at 10:04 this morning at Cedars Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles. TMZ is reporting that Murphy's mother found her unconscious in the shower in her husband's home and called 911. Paramedics determined she was in cardiac arrest and performed CPR, bu ... More >>

Today's Battle of Political Outrages: Sarah Palin's Hat vs. Chuck Schumer's Bitch

​Which of the today's internet political shrieks wins the battle of Depressing Indicator of Our Discourse of the Day -- Sarah Palin's un-McCain hat, or the continuing uproar over Chuck Schumer saying "bitch" on a plane? The answer may surprise you!

Sympathy for Lady Vengeance: Rihanna's Rated R

Her new album is as angry and profoundly uncomfortable as you might have suspected

Obama/Kanye "Jackass" Audio Leaks, Proving Our President Is...An Entirely Reasonable Man

​It's no surprise that the inevitably leaked (and even more predictably TMZ-obtained) audio of President Obama calling Kanye West a "jackass"--off the record, to CNBC, which didn't keep ABC's Terry Moran from hearing about it and tweeting it, then deleting it and apologizing, much much too lat ... More >>

News Roundup: The Pixies, Bruce Springsteen, Ticketmaster/Live Nation, Michael Jackson

​--The Pixies have announced the dates for their Doolittle 20th anniversary tour, where the alt-rock legends will play the album in its entirety. The band will play nine cities, including three New York gigs: November 23, 24, and 25 at the 3,000-capacity Hammerstein Ballroom. We recently talke ... More >>

Jackson Memorial Scheduled for 1PM EST

Michael Jackson's bonkers Staples Center memorial is scheduled for 10AM PST, and is set to feature a random assortment of basketball players, reality TV show contestants, and John Mayer. This Rolling Stone item cites TMZ and contains the allegation that "Michael Jackson's casket will take center sta ... More >>

Food Cart Turf Wars & Fancy Food Favorites

Artisanal honey, blood orange, and caviar were among the hot products at the Fancy Foods Show this year. Smaller packaging was another trend, sparked by this, our poor economy. [NY Times] Has calling 911 because you got your food order wrong become a trend? The woman TMZ branded McNut called 911 wh ... More >>

Breaking: Michael Jackson Suffers Cardiac Arrest, Is Rushed to Hospital. Update: Jackson, Dead at 50

The L.A. Times is reporting that Michael Jackson was rushed to UCLA Medical Center this afternoon after paramedics responded to call at Jackson's home. When they arrived, Jackson "was not breathing." Joe Jackson, Michael's father, has apparently since told TMZ "he is not doing well." Update: TMZ i ... More >>

News Roundup: Perez Hilton Gets Punched in the Face, Rihanna/Chris Brown, Flaming Lips, Kate Moss

--A member of Will.i.am's posse allegedly clocked Perez Hilton in the face last night. The blogger tweeted from a Toronto hotel around 3 a.m. last night: "I was assaulted by Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards. I am bleeding. Please, I need to file a police report. No joke." Hil ... More >>

TMZ: Hugh Grant Kicked Our Guy in the Nuts

TMZ claims Hugh Grant kicked their photographer in the balls last night outside the Waverly Inn. Did we say "claims"? We're just exhibiting our usual caution; TMZ has video. To be fair, it looks like it might have been a kick in the shins; it's hard to tell from the low-quality vid. Also, you might ... More >>

Sporadically Vibrant Reports From the R&B Salt Mines with Ciara and Chrisette Michele

New jams for low-riders and supper clubs, respectively

Owen Wilson Heals in Public

Advice from grannies and trannies; other topics are glossed over