Tiger Woods

Celebs Who Are Only Children: Here's The List

I always assumed I was the only Italian-American only child in creation -- those people tend to procreate a lot -- but it turns out Al Pacino is one, too! I'm not alone! And I did a little research (and glanced at Us magazine) and found some other famous folk who have gone through life without sib ... More >>

Tiger Woods Crashed His Car, Derailed His Life One Year Ago Today

This time last year, Tiger Woods was on his way down. On November 27, 2009, the once-golden golf star was injured in a car accident outside of his home in Orlando, Florida. According to preliminary local reports and the initial statement Woods posted to his website, "the car crash that sent him to ... More >>

The Biggest Douche of 2010

​Let's get a jump on all the year-end pieces that will surely be heading this way (from myself, for example) and crown the biggest douche of the year so far. Was it mouthy Mel Gibson for spewing even more hatred than critics leveled at Air America?

Tiger Woods Cigar Guy Revealed as the Humble Rupesh Shingadia

​It's lightning striking twice, in one photograph: Daily Mail photographer Mark Pain snapped a shot of a Tiger Woods chip an instant before it smashed into the camera lens. (See the full photo after the jump.) But in the background, along with a grimacing Woods, is the man who would come to be ... More >>

Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren Officially Divorced, "Sad"

​Divorce is in the air, people. Maybe it's August. Can a slow news month kill a marriage? Well, certainly not in the case of Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren, where the "killing" got started long before August -- cumulating nine months ago, in fact, with that glorious tragedy of a car crash/golf ... More >>

Is Divorce Contagious? Is the Pope Catholic? And Other Very Important Questions...

​What with Tiger Woods and Al Gore and even all those humdrum average people who live in your neighborhood calling it quits, Time magazine wants to know, "Is Divorce Contagious?" And while they don't really come out and say it's at swine-flu levels, yet, they do quote a study that estimates th ... More >>

Another Day, Another Tiger Woods Mistress (This Time With Child)

​Some days we almost feel a little bit sorry for Tiger Woods. Almost. Like when we hear that yet another mistress (a dime a dozen, these) has come forward and blah, blah, blah. But this time the story has a twist! "Adult film actress" Devon James has announced that he is the father of her 9-ye ... More >>

The Runnin' Scared PhotoProbe: Tiger Woods and The Moment of ManBoob Enlightenment

Sometimes, we see things. Things that can't be unseen. Things that pique our curiosity. Things that speak more than their respective thousand words, that provoke the possibility of extrapolating further truths from an in-depth investigation. Which Jen and I will faithfully execute, because we're bas ... More >>

Tiger Woods' Sexting Texts: Free Verse Poetry

​Tiger Woods' sexxxy text messages have made their way to the Internet this morning en masse, courtesy of Joslyn James, one of the various women the golfer's had flings with over the last few years. Her website, sextingjoslynjames.com, is currently overloaded with people who want to see what k ... More >>

Tiger Woods is Returning To Golf? And Why Not?

​Why on earth shouldn't Tiger Woods go back to filling holes with a metal club? After all, that's what he does! He's an athlete, remember? And though Tiger has apparently nailed every female that moves, since when is that illegal?

Tiger Woods May Get Back in the Game in Two Weeks: Post

​It took years -- including 18 months in prison -- before disgraced Olympic runner Marion Jones returned to sports as a member of the WNBA's Tulsa Shock. But Tiger Woods may be on a faster track: He's hired former Bush press secretary Ari Fleischer -- who also worked with semi-disgraced ballpl ... More >>

Tiger Woods Inspires Messy Ejaculations from the Press

​Maybe I'm the wrong person to comment on Tiger Woods. As a writer I have zero interest in the private lives of athletes and celebrities. They are either boring or tawdry. As a fan, I do have a little interest in scandal for entertainment value. I think Tiger should apologize to his wife, but ... More >>

Tiger Woods Show Trial, Live-Blogged: "For All I Have Done, I Am So Sorry" (Update: Could Be Back to Golf This Year!)

10:55 a.m. CNN is prefacing its Tiger Woods coverage with nerve-wracking percussion music and tweets from and interviews with Concerned Citizens ("That makes you laugh. Why does it make you laugh?"). 11:00 a.m. Now, the back of heads. Blue curtain. No sound. All the trappings of high drama!

Was Tiger Woods' Apology Good Enough?

​If Tiger Woods was single, he'd be widely acclaimed as the most sizzling stud on the planet. But because he's married, he's a loser and a sex addict. And that's why I'm single!

Barack Obama is Golden, Rush Limbaugh is Screwed -- Predictions for the Year of the Tiger!

By Fatimah Surjani Ortega Yes, Tiger, this could be your year​Sunday ushers in the Year of Metal Tiger, which sounds like a golf club. That's actually appropriate, because things look auspicious for Tiger Woods -- as long as he can keep his dick in his pants. Just in time for Chinese New Yea ... More >>

Tiger Woods Sex Rehab Story Revives Celebrity Scandal Once Thought Lost

The Tiger Woods scandal gave us lots and lots and lots of pleasure in 2009, but in recent weeks the sexed-up sports star has been keeping a low profile and hence not nearly as much easy to make fun of. So it is with relief we report that the National Enquirer allegedly has photographs allegedly of W ... More >>

EA Will Go Ahead with Tiger Woods Videogame, Hopefully with Some Modifications

​Tiger Woods had a terrible holiday season, and has been dropped in recent weeks by AT&T, Accenture, and Gillette. But Electronic Arts isn't giving up on him, and say they'll release the "Tiger Woods PGA Tour Online" game in beta this month. Woods is "still one of the greatest athletes in hi ... More >>

Brit Hume Tells Tiger Woods To Accept Christ

​I hate to even link to the Fox News Channel, so please don't play the attached video! Let me just tell you what happens on it, OK? Brit Hume, formerly a serious newsman, gives advice to Tiger Woods, saying that the fallen athlete's Buddhism doesn't really have the power of forgiveness and r ... More >>

Post Debunks Post on Tiger Woods

​In a curious item today, "Tiger Hunt Spurs Tall Tales," the New York Post's Page Six scoffs at the "many rumors of [Woods'] whereabouts." "The least credible story," they assert, "is that he's shacked up with his No. 1 girlfriend, Rachel Uchitel, in Palm Beach, where they've been supposedly p ... More >>

SUCK IT!

Not trying to be a downer, but 2009 kind of sucked ass

Rudy Giuliani Tells Tiger Woods "Hang In There"

Everyone's beating up on Athlete of the Decade Tiger Woods -- his wife's allegedly divorcing him, Accenture dropped him, his dad and Jessica Simpson are getting dragged into it, etc. But some celebrities are offering Tiger solace and friendly counsel, our former mayor Rudolph Giuliani among them. ... More >>

Jockbeat: Does Golf, With Its Rotten History, Have Any Business Investigating Tiger Woods?

Since when did golfers need to be nice guys?​We can sum up all the nuttiness and overreaction to the Tiger Woods scandal with Hank Gola's column in Friday's New York Daily News. "We've heard condemnations from [Swedish golfer] Jesper Parnevik and Herm Edwards, support from Charles Barkley ... More >>

Gatorade Discontinues Its Tiger Woods Energy Drink

​Gatorade has turned off the tap on Tiger Focus, its Tiger Woods energy drink. The brand says that the decision has nothing to do with the golfer's myriad dalliances, and that it made the decision before news of his Thanksgiving car accident broke.

Our 5-Point Plan to Save Tiger Woods from Ambulances, Porn Stars, Etc.

​Inc. magazine has a few PR pros advise (in absentia) Tiger Woods on how to "fix his image." Their advice is either too general ("Go through the short-term trauma and be done with it") or, given the world in which we live, out of the question ("I would recommend that he be real and authentic b ... More >>

Another Casualty in the Tiger Woods Scandal

​As the women around him negotiate to get more moolah out of his philandering, Tiger Woods could easily start spiraling into an abyss of his own making. By the time the ninth "party hostess" came forward to say she'd played with his golf balls, I guess the stress levels rose, possibly some en ... More >>

Crime Beat: Tiger Woods' Other Problem Is Dubai's Meltdown -- and Its Adultery Laws

HarkavySerenity now: Tiger's first designed golf course, in Dubai, features a "30-foot depression" on the 12th hole, a pit much smaller than what he's trapped in right now. Tiger Woods may be lucky that his adulterous behavior surfaced now instead of next year. The first golf course he has designed ... More >>

Was Ambien Tiger Woods' Sex Drug, or His Alibi?

​Well, you've heard it all about Tiger Woods by now: the growing number of alleged romantic conquests, the Ambien sex -- Wait what? "Uchitel told friends that she and Tiger liked to have sex while taking the drug Ambien. Uchitel told one pal, 'You know you have crazier sex on Ambien, you get ... More >>

Our Front Pages: Granny Mugger, Tiger Woods Slammed; War on Christmas Update

The guy who mugged a 101-year-old and other elderly victims has been sentenced to 75 years in prison. As he is 47, on even the most forgiving terms of parole, he can only get out when he is of an age to be thus victimized himself. The humiliation of Tiger Woods proceeds with withering scorn from ... More >>

Questions About Tiger Woods

Did the wife really shatter the car window to free her husband or was she more likely aiming for his head? If he really is the victim of spousal abuse, will people finally take seriously the fact that some men can be Rihanna-like? (Though in her case, it was the abuser who cheated.)

New PETA Celebrity Nude Spurs Outrage, Masturbation (Plus: Tiger Woods!)

​Bless PETA. Their latest celebrity nude ad has both nudity and blasphemy. Joanna Krupa (Something, Something Else) is an "Angel for Animals" with a crucifix concealing her nipples. Bill Donahue of the Catholic League rises to the bait -- and he's mad on behalf of animals and Jesus Christ! " I ... More >>

Jockbeat: Will Tiger Woods Bounce Back After This Car Crash and Affair Nonsense? Are You Kidding?

​Surfing the web for the best post-Tiger Woods car crash humor, we have to go with Craig Ferguson in his Monday monologue: "Economists are saying that so far holiday sales are down, but that doesn't figure in the diamond ring that Tiger Woods is going to have to buy his wife. "Anyway, it do ... More >>

Crime Beat: The Girl Next Door -- Too Beautiful to Live, She's Killed, and Cops Seek Neighbor

Rachel Uchitel: Working on her gripCops were searching last night for a neighbor of beautiful Rockland County gym teacher Jami Erlich, who was stabbed and bludgeoned to death Sunday night. No sign yet of the neighbor, a temp described as a "quiet loner" who may have taken it on the lam. As opposed ... More >>

Rachel Uchitel Story Loses Sex, Gains 9/11, Outrage

​Our esteemed colleague Ward Harkavy is correct that there are no authoritative accounts of sex between Rachel Uchitel and Tiger Woods at this writing, under the Post headline or anywhere else. Happily for journalists, there is a 9/11 angle. Uchitel lost her fiance, banker Andy O'Grady, in the ... More >>

Tiger Woods Will Receive Traffic Ticket, Thousands of Stories About New Alleged Affair

​The Florida Highway Patrol has announced its intention to cite Tiger Woods for reckless driving in the incident last week that damaged a tree, a fire hydrant, Wood's car, and Woods. The fine is expected to be $164. FHP will not press criminal charges. One Jaimee Grubbs has found this an opp ... More >>

Non-Tiger-Woods Sports Offense News: Serena Fined, BYU QB Clarifies Abuse Targets

​Tiger Woods is not the only athlete whose unfortunate behavior is in the news today. Serena Williams has received her penalty from the Grand Slam administration for threatening to shove her balls down a line judge's throat at her September U.S. Open debacle: an $82,000 fine, and probation t ... More >>

Oh, All Right, We Give: Tiger Woods Affair Mistress Celebrity Nude Scandal

​"Tiger Woods having an alleged affair?" asks the Examiner. OK, we'll be the first to say it. Tiger Woods is having an alleged affair! But is he having an actual affair? Questions remain. The Orange County Register has "Tiger Woods Mistress Pictures & Joe Namath's Dog," presumably not in the s ... More >>

Is Tiger Woods Finally Interesting?

​"Tiger Woods was in a minor car accident" said the official statement on the golfer's website the other day. But as speculation, gossip, and innuendo grew like wildfire once word of this mishap got out, the accident became less and less minor and more and more image threatening.

Tiger Woods Hurt, Perhaps Badly, in Car Accident (Update: Woods Released in "Good Condition")

​The initial report is that while Tiger Woods was pulling out of his driveway around 2 a.m. in Florida he hit a fire hydrant on the street and a tree on his neighbor's property. Sounds unexciting -- his airbag didn't activate, so he is presumed to have been going less than 33 mph -- but app ... More >>

This is the Kind of Morning It's Been: Tiger Woods Farts

A video of Tiger Woods allegedly farting on the 18th hole of the Buick Open -- or, as breaking news site Uploaded Channel puts it, "Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods farts, Tiger Woods fart video, Tiger fart, Tiger Farts, Buick open fart, Buick open" -- has been burning up the internet. But now the video ... More >>

The Legend of Tiger Woods Grows

Tiger Woods' Big Victory at the U.S. Open and Willie Randolph's Sudden Exit

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