Two and a Half Men

2012: The Year in Review

From a deranged Dirty Harry to the rise of Honey Boo Boo, it was a long, strange, sad, and silly trip

Ashton Kutcher As Steve Jobs: You Like?

The star of Two and a Half Men can add another man to his resume. Cougar bait Ashton Kutcher is playing entrepreneurial genius Steve Jobs in jOBS, which is closing the next Sundance Film Festival.

Everything Went Wrong At The Emmys

That's the thesis of The Wrap's Tim Molloy, who questioned some of the choices made in the envelopes--and in the telecast itself--last night. For example, Molloy thinks it was weird to pick Two And a Half Men's Jon Cryer as Best Actor in a Comedy over candidates like Don Cheadle, Alec Baldwin, and ... More >>

Hello I Must Be Going

New York's Far-Flung Theaters

Outré cinephilia with the bridge-and-tunnel set

TV Sucks! 43 Reasons Why I Can't Watch Anymore!

43 reasons to hide the remote

Free Will Astrology: February 22-28, 2012

Musto Occupies 2011: A Rich Year for Gossip

Q&A: Mannequin Pussy's Marisita Dabeast On Spontaneous Songwriting, Our National Myths, And Being In A Band Called "Mannequin Pussy"

In the time it takes to watch an episode of Two and a Half Men sans commercial interruptions, you can head-bang through the recorded Mannequin Pussy oeuvre twice. But guitarist/singer Marisita Dabeast and drummer Athanasios Paul, both 24, come on like an acid-rain hurricane, packing their EPs meatsl ... More >>

Ashton And Demi Kaput? I Can't Bear It!

​Reports have Demi Moore fed up with Ashton Kutcher's philandering ways and calling it quits between them. This upsets me a great deal because:

Charlie Sheen Catches a Flying Faygo and Says "Whoop-Whoop Winning" at the Gathering of the Juggalos

all photos by Nate "Igor" SmithCharlie Sheen smiles from the wings. More photos from this year's Gathering of the Juggalos here. Charlie Sheen Hogrock Campground, Cave-In-Rock, Illinois The Gathering of the Juggalos Saturday, August 13, 2011 Better than: Two and a Half Men It's probably our faul ... More >>

Exploring the New York Times' Unconventional Family Infographic

​The New York Times has a pretty well-done interactive infographic this weekend, attached to a story about an unconventional Brooklyn family. Our country's demographics skew increasingly toward the non-traditional; the days of 2.4 kids and a dog are no longer. The infographic shows you how man ... More >>

Charlie Sheen Not Submitted For an Emmy. Here's Why

​In light of the rather icky publicity the show has gotten in the past year, along with the ill will accorded its unruly, departed star Charlie Sheen, the bigwigs over at Two and a Half Men will submit the show in a lot of Emmys categories, but not the biggies. In other words, there is no sub ... More >>

Richard Ayoade, IT Boy

Freddy Caldwell Threatens to Blow Up TV Network Over Two and a Half Men Reruns

​There's reasonable, and there's justifiable, and there's stuff you shouldn't do at all except you might understand why a person would, you know, just a little bit. Such is the situation of the man who just couldn't take watching Bristol Palin dancing around on the TV one more minute and, so, ... More >>

Ashton Kutcher Replaces Charlie Sheen, But Not Really

​Yes, Ashton Kutcher has been announced as the guy who'll fill Charlie Sheen's lumpy shoes on Two and a Half Men, but this isn't like when there was suddenly a new Darren on Bewitched.

The 'Violent Torpedo of Truth': Who Pays to See Charlie Sheen? We Investigate.

​By Ryan Weyls Charlie Sheen's "Violent Torpedo of Truth" show became such a violent barrage of heckling at Radio City Music Hall Friday that Sheen fled the stage barely an hour into his promised 90-minute set. That much was expected. But even more than what Sheen would talk about, the questi ... More >>

Alec Baldwin Isn't Scary Anymore!

Success has mellowed him—and he's actually funny

Charlie Sheen Fired, Does Machete Dance

​So Two and a Half Men is now One and a Half Men, star Charlie Sheen canned for his desperately unfunny antics. And how does Sheen respond? With mumbo jumbo statements, a machete dance on a rooftop, shrieks of "breach of contract," and whooping calls of "Free at last!" Well, if Charlie's so ... More >>

Comedian Currently Watching Every Episode of Two and a Half Men

​Today in masochism: there is a comedian named Gil Ozeri who is currently watching every single episode of Two and a Half Men in a row, sans interruptions. The whole thing is streaming online here. Fittingly enough, all of the episodes of Charlie Sheen's famously mediocre sitcom (there are 177 ... More >>

Anti-Semitism Round-Up: Galliano Fired at Dior, Charlie Sheen's Jew Fight and More!

​Natalie Portman, the Oscar-winning, ballet-dancing, pregnant lady has officially spoken out against fashion designer John Galliano for making anti-Semitic remarks. Not long after, Christian Dior officially fired Galliano in response to his Hitler praising comments in a Paris bar, which became ... More >>

U.N. Discusses Libya Sanctions; Charlie Sheen's Meltdown Could Lose CBS $250 Million (Weekend Links)

via CNN ​A U.N. security panel is meeting today to discuss how to go about fixing the situation in Libya. They're discussing whether or not to impose international sanctions on the Libyan government, including travel bans on Muammar Qaddafi and those who are close to him. The U.S. has already clos ... More >>

Charlie Sheen's Meltdown to Be Very Lucrative For Charlie Sheen, Says Charlie Sheen

​This whole Charlie Sheen losing his mind thing hasn't been good for CBS, whose decision to cancel Two and a Half Men may cost $250 million in revenue. But it's going to be very lucrative for Charlie Sheen, what with the new $5 million per episode deal with HBO. And the forthcoming tell-all bo ... More >>

Charlie Sheen, We Hardly Knew Ye ... Until Now

Well kids, Charlie Sheen, the man who brought us so many wonderful cinematic and tabloid memories, appears to have decided to fling himself onto the massed spears of the collective media, in what is being described as a "radio rant," which resulted last evening in the cancellation of his moving, poi ... More >>

Charlie Sheen's Self-Aggrandizing Insanity: Discuss

​I was on CNN this morning with anchor Kyra Phillips, discussing the plight of crazed Charlie Sheen, whose rants against the creator of Two and a Half Men have led to the suspension of this season's remaining episodes. Among my highly illuminating bon mots:

Great World With Zach: On the Road With Galifianakis in Due Date

Daughter-Raping Murderer Is Fan of Charlie Sheen's Show, Which Sheen Actually Can't Help

​In what we assume is a bid to put together two SEO-worthy tales of sex and woe, the Daily News made the decision to publish the info that self-described "world famous" Austrian Josef Fritzl, who raped and fathered children with a daughter he kept in a dungeon for 24 years (and was found guilt ... More >>

Charlie Sheen Still Partying With Cocaine and Hookers to the Delight of His Employer

​Earlier this week Charlie Sheen became the new Mel Gibson after a cocaine-fueled semi-rampage at New York's not-well-suited Plaza Hotel. He allegedly hit hooker/porn star Capri Anderson and screamed the n-word, all while his ex-wife Denise Richardson and their children slept in a nearby room. ... More >>

Republicans Watch Sports, Democrats Watch Talk Shows, According to Political Ad Buys

​Republican political ads run mostly during sports programming and crime dramas, while Democrats prefer talk shows and sitcoms, according to a report in Sunday's New York Times. While the most popular and bipartisan show is Dancing With the Stars, Republican ad buyers dig on Saturday Night Col ... More >>

Morning Links: Charlie Sheen's Racist Tirade; Arrest in Stanton Street Shooting; Carl Paladino Offensive Again

​• Not only was Charlie Sheen coked up, drunk, and really scary went he went nutso at the Plaza -- he was also, apparently, on a racist tirade. "RadarOnline.com reported the Two and a Half Men actor repeatedly screamed the N-word and punched the walls." Which means Mel Gibson can finally hav ... More >>

10 NYC Hotels Better Fitted for Charlie Sheen to Do Blow in Than the Plaza

​Home Alone 2. North by Northwest. Crocodile Dundee. Arthur. Eloise and her motherfucking Pet Turtle!* New York City's landmark The Plaza Hotel has been home to many famous scenes over its 103-year history. Yet Charlie Sheen has managed to sully it, as it is now also home to the famous scene that ... More >>

Emmy Nominations Announced; HBO Maintains Primetime Stranglehold

We will never own one of these. ​Whee, the 62nd Annual (Primetime!) Emmys have been announced. There aren't that many surprises: As usual, HBO rocks, as does Mad Men, True Blood, 30 Rock, Glee, Neil Patrick Harris, and Tina Fey. Losties may get another chance to see the objects of their affect ... More >>

Rush Limbaugh Says He's an Assman; Outrage Ensues

Radio host and Miss America Pageant judge Rush Limbaugh said on the air today, "I love the women's movement -- especially when walking behind it." Jezebel is not amused ("Need a shot of rage to get you going?"); Think Progress' Amanda Terkel notes polling that shows "not that many women really lik ... More >>

More 9/11 Oddities: 9/11 Musical, Charlie Sheen, KSM Photos

​As we prepare for the eighth anniversary of 9/11, the horrible event is being put to strange uses. In Southern California, playwright Faye Hollins-Moore and composer Kent Horner are set to debut a 9/11 musical, Secrets in the Sand. Plot: a young American soldier debates re-enlisting. On the ... More >>

Emmy Nominees Include The Family Guy, Ernest Borgnine; Jon & Kate Snubbed

Emmy-nominated The Family Guy featuring Emmy-nominated Seth MacFarlane. For us the joy of the Emmy Nominations, announced this morning, is in the less-well-known categories. We see that there are only two shows, for instance, up for Outstanding Children's Nonfiction Program: Grandpa, Do You Know ... More >>

Why We Have Not Switched to Digital TV, Besides Laziness

We have rabbit-ear TV, and now that Uncle Sam is about to cease shooting radio waves through the air, in addition to finally removing our tinfoil hat we look forward to enjoying as much of a vacation from the boob tube as we can stand. We're not going to miss broadcast. What are we losing besides ... More >>

Studies in Crap Treats You To "Over Sexteen" And Its NSFW 1951 Cartoon Boob Fake-Out!

10 Questions for Barack and Michelle Obama's 60 Minutes Interview

Quality Distraction From Awkward Holiday Parties

Dream Massive Nightmares of Destruction

A Hyper-Real Football Experience

The Mother of All Zombie Adventures

Not Your Ordinary Button Masher's Delight

When Lamps and Chairs Attack

A Game Trippy Enough for Timothy Leary

An Above and Beyond Shooter Game

Act Like a Drunk Johnny Depp