Her career would be over!
WTF would she have to sing about?
"I met the man of my dreams and he loves me right back"?
Blech. Boring. That would go down the charts with a bullet.
And here are some other potential career killers for top music stars:
Did Shakespeare get the inspiration for his plays and sonnets from smoking weed? A South African anthropologist named Francis Thackeray is seeking permission from the Church of England to exhume Shakespeare's body and analyze it, determining whether the Bard liked to chill with a fat joint ev ... More >>
No, I haven't lost my mind.
If I ever go back to Jersey, I'll surely be brave enough to do it sans gel -- and even sans undies.
I'm just quoting one of the beach blanket witticisms in the new Gym, Tanning, Laundry: The Official 'Jersey Shore' Quote Book, which is as chockfull of epigrams a ... More >>
CLICK HERE for my column in which all of those things, plus a Shakespeare play, are dissected with my usual judgmental (with the emphasis on "mental") glee.
Yes, this column is all over the place, so it needs your penetrating gaze to make it focused -- or to make it even exist.
Give it a cl ... More >>
All in one week!
CLICK HERE for my new column in which I go all old school and infiltrate a very intimate concert by Liza Minnelli, a private dinner for Sinatra Family Estate wines, hosted by the delicious Nancy Sinatra, and a Friars Club tribute to Jerry Lewis, whose wacky comedy I'm a big ... More >>