24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

Wait! Isn't espresso supposed to be the opposite of instant coffee?

24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

Hey, hippies, if I "Get the Munchies," I want the entire bag filled with M&M's.

24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

Unless you count salt as a spice, hummus has no spices at all, just garlic and lemon juice. Forty spices? Yuck! I can't even name 40 spices.

24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

The conflicting iconography of the label (Jewish, Japanese, Surfer) is giving me a headache, but I'm pretty sure I don't want my teriyaki sauce "Made With 100% Pure Pineapple Juice."

24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

No, I'm not trusting this company to come up with anything Sichuan, especially when they still spell it "Szechuan." Note that the adjacent jar says "Tuscan."

24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

I'm not feeding my baby anything that looks like tiny processed penises.

24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

Now that I've seen this product, I'm keeping my eyes open for suspiciously small-bore pepperoni at my local pizzzeria. And the dog seems to be crying for help.

24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

"Salmon" and "Tuscany" and "cat food" should never be uttered in the same sentence. And who wants their cat to be a "gourmet"?

 

24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

No kid is going to mistake a cracker topped with cold cheese and ketchup for a pizza.

24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

At last someone found something to do with sun-dried tomatoes.

24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

I think I'd rather have some "difficult cheese."

24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

"Chicken Bacon Ranch Stuffed Melt" -- I'm hurling! And since when did "melt" become a noun? I won't even mention the absurdity of "baked potato soup."

24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

No self-respecting vegetarian would touch something that looks just like the dodgy meat loaf special from a grease-pit diner. If it looks and tastes like meat -- it's probably meat.

24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

I'm not sprinkling that on anything!

24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

This is the box that dares not speak its real name -- Instant Margarine!

24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

Smooth Move wants to manipulate your bowel movements.

 

24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

Fondue is basically just melted cheese and wine -- so what's in the box?

24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

These expensive and pretentious products only contain 3 percent actual truffle scrapings, sucker! But the amazing thing is that these products are sold in a supermarket.

24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

I'm down with an Italian-American corporation making Japanese panko crumbs -- used principally to make tempura -- but I stamp my foot with displeasure when they flavor those pristine crumbs with dried Italian seasonings.

24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

(Click on this one to enlarge.) Give me back my calories and soy fat! And what, exactly, is the "eighth continent" -- Atlantis?

24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

Nowadays, any brand can be attached to anything, but Bailey's is going out on a limb making non-alcoholic and non-dairy coffee creamer loaded with artificial flavors. Wouldn't you rather just pour some Bailey's into your coffee?

24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

We used to call them "pretzels."

24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

That Rasta Elf on this brand of icebox cookie dough is really freaking me out!

24 Really Ridiculous Supermarket Products

Brought to you by the City of Buffalo, the shrimp-farming capital of the world. These look really awful, don't they?


Sponsor Content

Newsletters

All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories
    Send:

Newsletters

All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >