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Spicy Chicken Sandwich at McDonald's: Ugh! Double Ugh!

Spicy Chicken Sandwich at McDonald's: Ugh! Double Ugh!

The spicy chicken sandwich laid bare -- but there really should be more stuff inside the bun, like onions and tomatoes or something.

I was kinda excited when the McDonald's hype machine cranked up to tout the new spicy chicken sandwich, and more so when the TV commercial told me it was part of the Dollar Menu, even though that means the thing will cost you $1.89 in Manhattan.

Spicy Chicken Sandwich at McDonald's: Ugh! Double Ugh!

The cutlet looks like a diseased tongue.

But with my nose stuck in Wikipedia, I soon learned that the thing was actually introduced in 1980 as the McChicken, withdrawn, then reintroduced in 1988, and later replaced. There are now three variations of the sandwich used in various market -- and Manhattan got the "spicy" version. Thanks, Kroc retinue!

The thing actually is a little bit spicy -- but McDonald's spicy, which is as spicy as a single shake of black pepper on an egg. There's more dehydrated onion flavor than chili spiciness, and you'd have to take a scrape with a scalpel of the cutlet's stiff pellicle, and then subject it to spectroscopic analysis, to find what's really in the adamantine brownish-red covering.

But the biggest problem is the cutlet itself, or rather what's inside it. Though the advertising material boasts 100 percent white meat chicken, the texture is like dried Elmer's Glue. You'll get no chicken pleasure, or at least none of the kind that comes from chewing something that has fibers in it.

Spicy Chicken Sandwich at McDonald's: Ugh! Double Ugh!

Don't bother opening the package -- and what the hell does "Cheated Just for You" mean?

Examine the other Fast-Food Report Cards.


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