The Real Food Porn: Hot Dog Archive (NSFW)

The Real Food Porn: Hot Dog Archive (NSFW)

In July, in response to a complaint from our editor ("C'mon, that expression is so tired and overused!"), Fork in the Road decided to do away with the expression "food porn"--but only as it applied to glowing descriptions of actual food. Digging deep into our vast picture archives, we discovered that there really is such a thing as actual food porn--soft- and hard-core pornography that uses food literally, or as a metaphor for sex. (See our first effort, here.)

One whole body of photographic material concerns hot dogs, and we found hundreds of examples. Some of it is funny and some of it is just sick--we leave it to you to make value judgements. For our part, we hate the stuff, but offer what's on the following pages as a sort of warning: Never confuse food and sex! (That means, don't watch The Naughty Chef!)

Click on "continue reading" to acknowledge that you are at least 18.

One body of material features women and weenies. Here are a couple of examples.

The Real Food Porn: Hot Dog Archive (NSFW)

It makes you wonder: Where can I get that natty lettuce bikini?

The Real Food Porn: Hot Dog Archive (NSFW)

How many weenies have been lost in that expansive cleavage?

From this point on, things get really gamy. We beg you not to turn the page!

 

The Real Food Porn: Hot Dog Archive (NSFW)

The Fork in the Road archivist says she thinks the guy in the hot dog suit must be the woman's husband!

The Real Food Porn: Hot Dog Archive (NSFW)

If the cook's not careful, the sausages are not going to be the only thing that gets grilled!

At this point, we must sheepishly explain that we're not allowed to show actual genitals in Fork in the Road (even though we've seen full frontal nudity in the Village Voice on several occasions). Come to think of it, though, the censored picture below is much more obscene. Believe me, the uncensored original is capable only of provoking a pitying laugh--the guy can't even fill the bun.

The Real Food Porn: Hot Dog Archive (NSFW)

"This guy needs to be Bobbitted," says the blonde model.

The Real Food Porn: Hot Dog Archive (NSFW)

Thirsty after all those salty dogs? Have a drink of beer. (Note that we can show this penis because--it's only a beer tap, folks, not real!)


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