Dousing a blaze


Natasha was on the prowl, anticipating that she’d flirt up a storm at NAPPER TANDY’S last Friday in Northport. The place, she bragged, was a happy-hour haven of guys who don’t pile on hair gel. With a $270 pin-straight bob-styled wig on, she figured she was sporting a good-girl image that they’d go for. Not that she was starving for attention: She’s dating one New York City fireman, and another one’s sniffing around. “I’m into fires,” she said. But neither was putting out her blaze this particular night.

The odds were good: The number of guys was about double the women. Natasha had gotten a seat at the bar for holding a fool’s court. The nonsense began with a guy on the other side of the bar sending her over a drink. Usually, such generosity means someone wants to hang out and talk. But not this guy. He just sent the drink over. Period. Another guy dissed her hair, mumbled an apology, explained that he had six sisters and then slinked away.

With most of the males loitering quietly down at the other end of the bar, Natasha stayed in her chair, drinking beer out of a straw and watching Shocking Behavior: Caught on Tape 2 on TV. A bit about a fat woman screwing a skinny guy was entertaining, but the men who were live at this place weren’t. Even Fred, who recognized her from the past, didn’t perform well. Despite his joking about her nerdy ex, he bailed soon after she announced, “I want a manly man. I want a man who wants to go out and kill an animal.”

And here he came, the only man’s man wearing a stained thermal shirt in the place. He’d staggered away from a female whose ass he had been keeping warm with his hand. En route to Natasha, he lost his balance and nearly spilled his drink on her. As she scoffed at him, his other woman pulled him away. By now, her ass was probably getting cold.

NAPPER TANDY’S229 Laurel Ave, Northport 516-757-4141.