Looking for a job in new media? Pick your poison: inexperienced management, offices like Sarajevo on a rough day, rodents. Since its launch this year, Vault.com, a career resource site, has become heavy with first-person accounts, by designers, programmers, and permatemps, of life at the bleeding edge—they’ve got the scars to show for it. New York businesses are particularly hard-hit. Agency.com, a local “internet solutions company” itching to go public, has amassed over a hundred posts, in part arising from gossip that an Excel spreadsheet of every employee’s salary was public and circling the Net.
Here’s a sampling of some of the more amusing, and anonymous, griping going on (spelling and punctuation verbatim). Note: These swipes (which the Voice is not endorsing) are merely personal rants and have not been factually verified; as such they should be treated as unadulterated entertainment. Read at your own risk.
author: ex-AGENCY.COM : New York
subject: Left the place
I left AGENCY a few months ago. Recently, I went to an AGENCY leaving party. It seemed that everyone there had either left or was about to. The most common answer to “how long are you planning on staying” was “until the IPO.”
author: CommonSense (email@example.com)
subject: Ditto on the self esteem deflation at AGENCY!
I was at AGENCY.COM for nearly two years, lest someone try to dismiss me as some disgruntled person who got turned down at a job interview, or somebody who worked there for only a few weeks.
The fact of the matter is that there are a whole lot of people at AGENCY who need to be fellated regularly with hollow praise about what geniuses they are by sycophantic grunt workers who have pie-in-the-sky hopes of one day becoming the very tyrants whose asses they kiss.
author: Kyle Shannon
subject: We’re listening. . . thank you.
As the Chief Creative Officer of AGENCY.COM and one of its co-founders, I can assure you, we take the message boards very seriously. . . . First off, I’d like to apologize to those employees who feel they have had poor experiences. . . . Wealso started the company with (literally) $80.00 which meant that it was a tightly run, bootstrap organization. . . . But that time is past.
While we are still a very young company, we are officially out of startup mode, so a lot of what made those days a challenge doesn’t exist anymore.
author: Your Mother (firstname.lastname@example.org)
subject: Whiny Crybabies
Wow, I’ve never heard so much whining before, not even from my 4 year old niece. . . . You should all grow up and go find a place employment commensurating with your abilities, hey i heard McDonalds is hiring!
author: Grammar Patrol
subject: To: Your Mother
Uhhh . . . that would be “employment COMMENSURATE with your abilities.”
I guess good grammar is not a requirement at the almighty agency.com
subject: a simple formula
Former AGENCY.COM employee. Long time. Short time gone. Seen the idiocy from version .03 through the spanky branded version 4.0—still, after all—the ineptness, poor management, clumsy paternalism, and wannabe ad agency politics—thought it was a great experience. Huh? I can see you scratching your heads . . . a great experience? That’s right—learned a lot from a company that is widely viewed as a pioneer in this space. Got to work with huge clients on ambitious projects with at least one good to great person on every team. . . .
Okay. If you are a marginally literate whiny cube bitch—and it seems like there sure are a lot of you posting to this list—forget it. Your career is peaking right now. . . .
author: zirena (zpsolution)
subject:I’m looking for the. . .
I’m looking for the real scoop on what it’s like to work for this organization?
subject: about’s work environment
i used to work there. if you are a dedicated workaholic, enjoy being strapped to a laptop and have a joy for an undefined position, this is the place for you. the only departments that are structured to a “t” are their technology groups, product development, sales & editorial. all others, if you enjoy being a netslave . . .good luck.
subject: bad things—agreed
i give razorfish about another 6 months of this—unless they make a radical change they will be no different from any of their competitors. one person who i’m still friends with there referred to razorfish as ‘u.s. web’—not a good sign.
author: .com Insider
subject: Something to Complain About
Actually, not just one thing, but many things. I’ll just address the petty things first: a) The bathrooms are too few b) It takes forever to get an elevator. c) There’s one more rodent than I prefer to have milling around the factory that we call an office. . .
subject: Stay away . . .
Stay away—it’s run like a bad teenage movie not a business. . . . Heathers.
author: ex producer
subject: strange management
. . . not only is there a revolving door for producers, the management there is . . . how can i describe it . . . strange. i was hired for a job with certain responsibilities, then when i got the[re] the job desc changed. then i was told i’d have to change my skill set to keep the job. then i was fired for not meeting expectations, though they never told me what expectations were. very strange.
subject: interviewing at iVillage
I recently interviewed at ivillage. It was conducted in a coffee shop. The reason I was given was that there was no space in the office. I suspect there was another reason, and that was that the place looked like a tornado had passed through. It was messy, filthy, and looked like it was run by amateurs.
author: ex prod
as an ex-ivillage producer, it’s interesting to see these posts. i, too, was fired because i “don’t understand the web.” This from someone who doesn’t know how to open an email attachment. . . .
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on December 7, 1999