At last month’s Knit performance, the duo known as Double Dong teased the audience as much as they did each other. Their mating ritual took the form of a dance contest, with Ghostkrabb busting out the “worm” and impressing the crowd with a prolonged handspin, while the Eel lived up to his name with slithery, Travolta-esque moves and seductive hair tosses. “We’re sort of like Donny and Marie,” explains the Eel. “He’s a little bit country, and I’m a little bit rock ‘n’ roll.” And as with the ’70s brother-sister act, one suspects that they long to share more than just the stage.
A Double Dong and Wyld Lixx show isn’t merely a concert, but a full-blown theatrical extravaganza led by two maestros of the absurd. They’re an amalgamation of every odd character transmitted through the cathode-ray tube: raving evangelist, hollow phone-sex companion, shit-peddling salesman, sexually confused teen. Not content to sit back with glazed eyes and simply serve as pop-culture sponges, they’ve peeled themselves off the couch and twisted these mind-numbing sound bites into their own playfully subversive message: “Young people in jeeps, letting their tassels fly free, clusters of peeps, engaged in coitus so deep.” It’s an experience that revolves around their warped interpretations of the worst—that is, the best—slow-jam, glam-metal, punk-rock, and hip-hop channel-surfing sounds.
When not beatboxin’ on songs like “White Knight vs. Black Knight” and “Space Reefer,” Ghostkrabb sings in a high-pitched, nasal, never-quite-changed-all-the-way voice (possibly the result of his liking to wear his slacks extra-snug). He could be Jerry Falwell’s estranged son: faking sick on Sundays so he can stay home from church, watch infomercials, and spend hours in front of the mirror mocking his dad and imitating Elvis’s pelvic gyrations. The Eel has a looser style—sleek and sexy and with a little breathing room in his shorts. After all, he boasts a size 16 shoe. He just might be Crispin Glover’s overgrown kid brother who dabbled in disco, then goth, before finally discovering the Beastie Boys.
Devoted disciples Wyld Lixx provide the background music for this softcore porn show. If you move your head back and forth real quick, they sort of resemble Pat Benatar’s band, and they sound like a group of guys who all agree that “Eye of the Tiger” was the best song ever written. They also have a place in their hearts for slow jams and smooth r&b, kicking them out with as much enthusiasm as their heavy-metal screams and guitar solos.
Well into the set, Ghostkrabb took the hand of an attractive young lady and crooned, “What your man don’t know, ain’t gonna do us no harm. I can’t fight your irresistible charm. I wanna bubble on you, baby.” While she blushed, the Eel paced the stage anxiously. Pointing his trembling finger at Ghostkrabb, he screamed, “I CHALLENGE YOU!” To which Ghostkrabb replied, “Oh yeah? Well, why don’t you just squirt that challenge right here across my rosy cheek!” The members of Wyld Lixx rolled their eyes—as if this were nothing new—and effortlessly got a disco groove going.
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