Fresh off his Miami Winter Music Conference gigs, the bearded one returns to the city. You might notice something different about Armand Van Helden, but don’t fret: He’s just changed his beard style. The boy who would be a hip-hop prince has yet to cross over with the headz, but he should count his lucky chickens. Between that last album (which sorta bombed big-time) and Brit comedian Ali G. doing a damn near perfect imitation of him, he should be happy house fanatics still line up around the block to cough up $25 to see him appropriate mixing. With the harder-working, but not as beautiful, Paul Johnson. Friday @ 9, the Roxy, 518 W 18th, 802-9268.

Long hailed as the Man Who Spins on Three Decks, Chicago house legend Derrick Carter returns for another Technic workout at Subliminal Sessions. Doing house aerobics to Carter’s jacked-up, jump-around, freaky filter house music might be the perfect way to shed a few pounds-and look good while listening to good music at the same time. Double your pleasure, double your fun: Don’t forget, downstairs in the Pinky room there are more surprises awaiting unsuspecting clubbers. If Carter bores you (possible?), Dimtri From Paris might alleviate that problem. Though he’s not as technically skilled as Mr. Carter, the Parisian DJ might offer a less hard-hitting, more frivolous sound. Thursday @ 10, Centro-fly, 45 W 21st, 627-7770.

The hole left by the tech house party Sleaze Factor is still felt, but the folks at Mondaze fill the gap-or at the very least, make your Tuesday mornings more difficult thanks to the skills and thrills of jocks Joeski, Melvin Moore, Kevin McCray, and Brian (from Sleaze Factor), who rotate at this deep house party every week. Mondays @ 7 , Sapphire Lounge, 249 Eldridge, 539-3715.

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