New Yorkers traditionally hi-tail it out of town on Memorial Day, leaving the streets and the clubs feeling as bare as baby’s ass. Some of you might be happily venturing to Fire Island where you’ll encounter one Fatboy Slim a/k/a Norman Cook doing his point-at-the-record, grin-like-a-monkey-boy act while he spins his big beats. He’ll be accompanied by the more refined tastes of Miss Honey Dijon whose devastating good looks will leave you wondering: “Is she or isn’t she?” Unlike Miss France, Miss Dijon would’ve been sent back home on the first plane, but what a mistake that would’ve been. Her beats are sultry, smooth as silk and just a tad raunchy. Deep house done right. Opening the evening is Seattle’s queen diva, DJ Eva, a jill of all trades who spins dark, dreamy drum’n’bass, but can just as easily switch gears for breaks and deep house. Sunday @8, Ice Palace, Grove Hotel, Fire Island, Main Walk, Cherry Grove, 631-597-6600.

2step’s popularity is slowly taking hold on our clubs, and though we don’t have have a glittering crowd steeped in Cristal and diamonds, we do have a few solid local jocks dedicated to spreading the word. In celebration of V2’s comp, Vital 2-Step, Dinesh, Reid Speed, and Greg Poole host another rendition of Drive By in the Pinky at the ‘Fly. Vital is a good place to start for the 2step Retarded. It features Wookie, Zinc, and Artful Dodger, among others, and represents the more sophisticated side of the genre. Friday @ 10, The Pinky Room, Centro-Fly, 45 W 21st, 627-7770.

French techno wonderboy Laurent Garnier returns just a few months after his last live set to play disc jockey. Though the combination of saxophones and samplers had many folks raising their eyebrows (a little too close to electronic Kenny G, perhaps), nevertheless, the tune in question, “The Man With the Red Face,” is beautiful, bordering on epic, and if Garnier spins anything that sounds like what he makes, we’re in for a good night. (Note to self: Bring stamina, since Garnier-who is known for lengthy sets that put Tenaglia, Sasha and Digweed, and other marathoners to shame-has the stuff in spades.) Don’t forget to wander downstairs, where Jerseyite legend Tony Humphries offers a little house music relief for your techno-crammed ears. Thursday @ 10, Centro-Fly, 45 W 21st, 627-7770.

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