Recently, I had what might possibly be the weirdest clubbing experience of my life, when I went to Lotus for the first time for the Jane’s Addiction afterparty. (Celebrity joints=ick!) Lo and behold, down in the VIP room was Ivana Trump, her perfectly coiffed hair, and two other old, frighteningly rich folks, dancing to Perry Farrell’s (a/k/a DJ Peretz) minimal house. That alone was worth the half-hour wait. Perry’s DJ skills are coming along nicely (he can beatmatch!). Soon, he might actually become a better DJ than a singer.

Electroclash festival organizer Larry Tee was also playing his crunchy brand of early-’80s-inspired electropop at Lotus. In an amusing side note, a few folks couldn’t get into the ‘clash Adult/Chicks on Speed show. Security at Webster Hall?a club already so lucky to be blessed with an iota of coolness for a mere three hours?actually enforced their “dress code” on the city’s sneaker-clad techno fanatics. Said one dissed partygoer: “The door person looked like she was 22 and lived in an NYU dorm, and shopped at the Gap. Except for the mustache. I walked to the woman with the list, and the NYU door girl came stomping over like a fevered burro and started braying ‘We uphold a dress code here,’ which I suppose is to only let in disgusting people.” he added, “I have never seen a nerd get so upset before!

“I would also like to mention that my sneakers were the limited edition gray and silver Nike retro-Jordan 1’s that are the coolest sneakers in New York. I have been so traumatized, I can never listen to my Webster Hall trance compilation CD’s or wear my clear plastic backpack without crying now.”

To avoid a similar hassle, see Larry Tee and his cohort Spencer Product at their new night Berliniamsburg, which Larry promises me is already packed shoulder to shoulder. It’s held at the ultra-tacky new club Luxx (which reminds one of a strip joint with all the poles and red, silver, and black walls). Saturday at 9, Luxx, 256 Grand Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn, 718-599-1000.