Press 1 to Subpoena Your Enron Boss


While puzzled members of Congress hem and haw over who’s telling the truth about Enron, who should get immunity, and who should go to jail, an anonymous prankster has set up a faux hotline skewering the bankrupt energy trader.

“Thank you for calling Enron,'” says the recorded message, sounding for all the world like a standard corporate greeting. Then comes the warning to listen carefully, since the menu has changed. Press one for information on serving subpoenas to current or former bosses, the voice says. Press three for tips on surviving retirement eating nothing but macaroni and cheese. Or, if “you are an Enron executive and would like to find out which prison inmate will be making you his bitch, press four.'”

It’s not clear yet who is behind the gimmick, found at (213) 213-6070. The message appears to be the handiwork of the Rejection Line, a for-hire insult company whose own menu of options—ranging from a professional consoler to a comforting poem—take over once the Enron message is finished.