Dance This Mess Around


All this whining about a lack of dance dens may soon come to a halt, and I’m not just talking about the arrival of Crobar. Let’s go blind: What owner of a fancy-schmancy New York boîte has his eyes on the empty Chinese hotel on Ninth Avenue between 15th and 16th streets (you know, the weird-looking building with circular windows all over) and plans to turn it into an upscale, boutique hotel? Particularly enticing is the verrrrry large basement. (New club, anyone?) . . . What West Side lounge czar and restaurateur is said to be unveiling a real-deal disco? . . . As for the clubs we already have, some have been more naughty than nice: What successful club boss allegedly used his inside juice with a city official to help get another party palace shut down? . . . What other hip downtown spot supposedly has mob ties? . . . And, no, I’m not telling.

Paul Sevigny, Mark Ronson, and all other aspiring celebrity DJs take note: There is a mixer with those two turntables for a reason. Erol Alkan—the Londoner who runs the popular party Trash—played Flyer mag’s four-year anniversary shindig at Spa Wednesday, demonstrating how much better a cross-genre set sounds if you square up the beats. Alkan took to using, not abusing, the EQs, even striking the fist-in-the-air rock-star pose every now and again. In the crowd,”electro-clash” auteurs Larry Tee and Conrad Ventur did a jig to Alkan’s extended New Order medley, which included bits of Corey Hart’s “Sunglasses at Night” (itself a remix by Tiga) and his own re-lick of Kylie Minogue’s “Can’t Get You Out of My Head.” Which is more annoying: the Kylie song or “It’s a Small World After All”? Discuss.

Kimyon, the Detroit techno pusher, has a dirty little secret. He plays a mix of ’80s hits and house every other Wednesday for Rock Hard, a luscious lesbo weekly in Lotus‘s basement V.I.P. room. (K-money calls them “fashion lesbians.”) For the past four months, foxy lady Voula Duval has been promoting the party, which has become a fave with celebs: The week before I visited, Gwen Stefani and her No Doubt posse tore it up—literally—rearranging furniture and very nearly dancing on the ceiling. While Matt Dillon and Stephen Dorff were no-shows the night I was there, Voula’s had plenty of party people dropping in, including Courtney Love, Jaid Barrymore, Rosie Perez, and Christina Aguilera. The door policy’s tight; Voula doesn’t let just anyone through the velvet ropes for her celesbian party. And as always—ladies first.

DT Watch: My fanatical Danny Tenaglia friends visited Vinyl recently and were stunned by the news that dear Danny T. totaled his Lexus the night before in a bad car accident. But the super-DJ’s a trooper; he played his usual umpteen-hour set and said midway, “I don’t wanna be famous! I just want to be like you guys!” Aw. Big hugs! Danny, as he is known by every one of his No. 1 fans, was also spotted hangin’ out in the DJ booth for the Deep Dish show at Shelter a few weeks ago. DT’s so dedicated, he came after his Jersey gig at Abyss, which ended at 2 a.m.! More big hugs!

Danny’s home base, Vinyl, appears to be getting its very own Phazon sound system (they seem to be giving the things away these days), and rumor has it that the dry club is reapplying for a liquor license. (Old-schoolers may remember that the space got its drinking privileges yanked five years ago after two shootings.) At press time, club reps hadn’t returned calls.

I told you so: Seems that the American branch of Ministry of Sound has indeed done some serious “restructuring.” Since last week’s column, I heard that three more of the seven U.S. employees were sent packing.

Last blind bit to take to bed with you: What PR/marketing agency honcho recently got into a shoving match with an abruptly fired staffer who was trying to grab personal belongings from the office? The PR head sent only one box of stuff back to the axed employee when there should have been more. Says my source, “They went through it and said, ‘Nope, business, business, business—fuck you.’ ”

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