We all know milk does the body good, but who knew it was so popular in clubland? Not one, but two parties are called Milk. Both are on Wednesdays and are within spitting distance from each other, but that’s where the similarities stop. The first Milk is a new techno and tech house party held in a cozy downstairs East Village bar. This week features two formidable talents, Detroit’s Magda and Chile’s Dinky, going head-to-head with their slippery, deep, sparse beats. Two of the best DJs in the city, and you can catch them for free! Wednesday @ 10, Café Deville, 103 3rd Ave, 477-4500.

The other Milk party is a totally different gig: Actually called Milk East, it’s a girly-girl affair that’s a spin-off of an L.A. sister event. I’d probably fall over if I heard minimal techno at a lesbian theme party, and with Kathleen Hanna hosting Milk this week, there’s no chance that techno will be blasting from the speakers. Hanna hosts the Aquarius birthday party and leads the foolish through a Rock ‘n’ Roll karaoke night. Wednesday @ 9, Otto’s Shrunken Head, 538 E 14th, 212-228-2240.

Why go all the way to Brooklyn to dress up in your old ’80s outfits and rock out? With the advent of AREA 10009, there’s no need to ride the L train when you can hop down to the East Village to hear nostalgic hits from DJ Adam. The party also has a few things Williamsburg doesn’t, including hosts Misstress Formika, Sophia Lamar, Ethan Carter, and Dee Finley and a booty strip-off with a $100 cash prize—and let’s not rule out the nude photo room where “anything goes.” This week also features performances by Jayne County and Lisa Jackson. Friday @ 10, Opaline, 85 Avenue A, 995-8684.

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