Valentine’s Day, my least favorite holiday of the year, is upon us. I would normally be eating chocolates and hanging out with my obese cat during this time, but instead I think I’ll go to Rock Candy to see the performance of Love Bites: A Romantic Evening of Power Ballads hosted by Cathy Cervenka (of Loser’s Lounge fame). A perfect warm-up for the embittered and jilted among us, the party is a celebration of hair metal’s greatest sappy hits. (The press release teases with mentions of Journey’s “Open Arms” and Def Leppard’s “Bringing On the Heartbreak.” Ah, memories.) A slew of performers will do renditions of the best ballads with the help of the Love Bites Band. The best part: Lighters will be provided. Wednesday @ 10:30, Don Hill’s, 511 Greenwich, 212-334-1390,

If there’s one DJ on the planet who makes you just wanna hug him to pieces, it’s the super-cuddly Danny Tenaglia. Of course, he’s named his V-day night the I Feel Loved Ball. Mr. Positivity will be spinning uplifting house for all his “children”—a moniker he lovingly uses when referring to his fans. Reduced admission for anyone demonstrating the holiday spirit-wear red or don a heart and you’ll get a break. Hugz! Friday @ midnight, Arc, 6 Hubert, 212-981-8703.

For the ladies (and only the ladies) there’s the always dependable and sexy Meow Mix chix. For Valentine’s week the girls are putting on a theme party—a Brat Pack Valentine’s Day! Clubbers are encouraged to “come dressed to impress as Miss Demi Moore” (a prize may even be in order). Also a naughty whipped-cream show in the lounge as well as k-I-s-s-I-n-g contest. Saturday @ 10, Meow Mix, 269 E Houston, 212-254-0688.

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