I never turn down the chance to ogle babes twirling their titty tassels, but even if you are a straitlaced type, there’s something fabulously mesmerizing about watching a good, old-fashioned striptease—especially when it includes feathers, glitter, and multilayered costumes. Good news for us gawkers, then: The first annual New York Burlesque Festival is this weekend (one word for those of you heading out to your “grown-up” summer shares—suckers!). The three-day festival features the best of the breasts—including NYers Dirty Martini, *BOB*, the World Famous Pontani Sisters, as well as chickadees from outta town—Ginger Goldmine from L.A., Torchy Taboo & Dames Aflame from Atlanta, and Kitty Diggins from Oregon (plus MANY more!). Friday @ 9, Slipper Room, 167 Orchard, 212-253-7246; Saturday @ 9, Knitting Factory, 74 Leonard, 212-219-3006; Sunday @ 1 p.m., the Marquee, 356 Bowery, 212-475-7621.

Two parties celebrate their anniversaries this week. Motherfucker turns three, celebrating their old age with the likes of Interpol’s Carlos D, plus Dave P (of Philly’s Making Times) and hostess Chi Chi Valenti. The Mofo parties are so huge (off tha hizzook, too) that they routinely have to turn people away, so thankfully, this go-round will be at the spacious Roxy. No rollerskating, though. Sigh. Sunday @ 10, Roxy, 515 W 18th, 212-645-5156.

DJ Rekha’s newest extravaganza, Bollywood Disco, has survived a whole year of this wretched economy. For their one-year, Rekha and her partner-in-crime Darshan Jesrani (moonlighting from his Metro Area gig) celebrate the release of the book Bollywood Dreams, while offering the usual razzle-dazzle disco tunes, Indian imagery, and the requisite pre-show Bollywood flick. DJ Eddie Stats—fresh from digging crates at the bazaars of Mumbai—brings his finds. Wednesday @ 9, Opaline, 85 Avenue A, 212-995-8684.

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