News & Politics

Take Them Out With Sex


Over the years Howard Stern’s free-flowing vulgarity has cost radio broadcasting networks over a million dollars in fines from the Federal Communications Commission. Here are a few of Stern’s priciest slip ups:

BLUMPKIN. July 26, 2001. “A blumpkin… I can explain it cleanly… A blumpkin is receiving oral sex while you’re sitting on a toilet bowl if you are a man. You’re sitting on a toilet bowl, and uh, while you’re evacuating you receive your oral.” $27,500

AUNT JEMIMA. October 31, 1991. “The closest I came to making love to a black woman was I, uh, masturbated to a picture of Aunt Jemima on a pancake box. I did it right on her kerchief.” $600,000

INCEST. March 7, 1996. Stern: “What’s the worst part of having sex with your brother?” Caller: “You got to fix the crib after it breaks and then you got to clean the blood off the diaper.” Threat of forfeiture

COLUMBINE SHOOTINGS. April 21, 1999. Stern criticizes the two teenagers responsible for the massacre: “There were some really good-looking girls running out with their hands over their heads. Did those kids try to have sex with any of the good-looking girls? They didn’t even do that? At least if you’re going to kill yourself and kill all the kids, why wouldn’t you have some sex? If I was going to kill some people, I’d take them out with sex.” Threat of forfeiture

SPHINCTERINE. April 9, 2003. Stern interviews the designer of Sphincterine, a genital hygiene product: “You say you invented Sphincterine because a chick was giving you oral and you had a swamp ass?” $495,000 total

CUNNILINGUS. April 9, 2003. Stern reads aloud a letter from a fan disturbed about a previous show: “Jesus H. Christ, just the thought of that [flatulence] obese slob Artie on the bed all sweaty, hairy, and naked giving his girlfriend [flatulence] a, what do you call that, using his mouth in a really dirty place makes we want to friggin’ shoot myself. Imagining the scene with Bobbabooey was no better. [flatulence] $495,000 total

JENNA JAMESON’S VAGINA. June 3, 1996. Howard Stern invites to his show the father of Jenna Jameson, a famous adult film star, and challenges him to pick out Jenna’s vagina from a series of spreads. Father: “I’ll say this one.” Stern: “Which one? That’s her… That’s Jenna. That’s her vagina.” Father: “I picked it out. [Trumpet sounds] Threat of forfeiture

“THE MOST HORRENDOUS THING EVER.” January 19, 1994. A male caller explains how a woman engaging him in oral intercourse began to vomit mid-act. Stern: “So you look, you look down and there was vomit all over you.” Caller: “The big chunks.” $200,000

Compiled by Nick Sylvester. Information courtesy of and

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