Harkening back to the studio’s glory days of gaudy, third-tier romantic piffle, the MGM-distributed Fascination could have been masterminded by the company’s senile leonine mascot. Neophyte auteur Klaus Menzel’s poky, amateurish “thriller”—best summed up as Romeo Hamlet & Juliet Macbeth Do South Beach—stars Adam Garcia as Scott, an angsty young composer whose father (James Naughton) dies under mysterious circumstances. When Mom (Jacqueline Bisset) returns from a grief-relief cruise with a fiancé (Stuart Wilson) in tow, Scott and his new stepsister/squeeze (Alice Evans, who gnaws her lines like a cross between Diana Rigg and a rottweiler) smell something rotten in San Juan. (Puerto Rico stands in gamely for Miami here.) Avoiding this lump of low-camp lion poo couldn’t be easier, what with MGM dumping it into a lone Manhattan venue, but if you’re in the mood for some unscripted belly laughs or a catnap, Fascination should do the trick.