@ This Country Club in Boca Raton, July 23
The Electric Slide, still electric after all these years
Forget all your hotshot DJs huffing/puffing whenever <http://www.catchdubs.com/”>their boy makes shorty ride “Cannonball”–what about jockeys in the shit, playing your cousin’s and sister’s and best friend’s weddings, bar mitzvahs, and mid-sized corporate events? These guys are the real heroes. Paid a preme to reconcile age, race, religion, sex, and taste gone whack in three hours and a dirty small tux, the master wedding DJ might not have the latest Bruza white label, but he does have the “New Electric Slide”, and the old one too, and after that he’s gonna play the “Ketchup Song”, and in a second your 40something aunt’s fake butt’s gonna rastafari afrogitano until her 70something mother tells her she looks like an ass.
I caught Miaminfamous DJ Dan‘s set at a friend’s wedding this past weekend–holy living f. Here was a crowd split down the line like an eighth grader’s butt cut: half under 25, half over 40; half Xtians, half not; half bankers, half unemployed; half Mason, half Dixon. And guess the fuck what: DJ Dan killed them all. Somebody I repeat somebody get this guy a peace prize.
After introducing the wedding party with a genre-destroying anthem that fell somewhere between “Are You Gonna Go My Way?” and the theme from Jock Jams, DJ Dan dropped the wedding song and peppered the newlyweds’ moment with promobot catcalls: “Oh yeah! Looks like these two are happy!” then “Oh yeah!” five more times. Now I forget the name of this song too–send complaints here–but I do remember the song was, fittingly and unalienatingly, neither fast nor slow. And that’s saying something.
During dinner DJ Dan kept things cordial and stuck to irrefutable soul: Old guys know the tracks, see, and jeezys wonder why the DJ’s playing the Kanye album so damn slow. But so ivy beleaguered yanks don’t think his cred postmodern, Dan works in the first track from Prefuse 73’s 92 vs. 02 Collection EP when the salads get served. It’s the one that sounds like bottles being tapped though, so I have no idea, and it was probably me tapping glass for a kiss anyway.
The incredible DJ Dan.
Nat King Cole made an appearance, which is to say “Unforgettable” has become the “Happy Birthday” of wedding songs, and for good reason. Think about the lyrics of “Happy Birthday”: “Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you…” Poignant, accurate, incredible. Now think about the lyrics to “Unforgettable: ” That’s why, darling, it’s incredible/ That someone so unforgettable/ Thinks that I am unforgettable too .” Find me a better wedding song, and I’ll find you Louis Armstrong, dead, playing “Wonderful World” on his trumpet, curled up in a wheelbarrel I bought from Home Depot.
The dancey-dance segment of the night kicked off with Amerie’s “1 Thing”, which many young people liked because they thought it was “Crazy In Love”, which old people liked because they thought it was the Chi-Lites. Then Dan indulged the groom’s faves with radio edit cuts off Blackout and kid-safe cuts of “Wait (The Whisper Song)”. Without sauce the former sounds like a piece of Swiss cheese; the latter is four minutes of silence. DJ Dan tried to flex LCD Soundsystem’s pasty “Disco Infiltrator”; a few people blinked. But after long the groom’s grandfather would have nothing of it, lobbying quietly for a dance-off soul train with James Brown on the toots. He got his way, and we ours, when the night came to a close and DJ Dan sent us off with “Last Dance”–a disco song that rocks, a gay song that’s really macho, a slow song that gets fast, a sad song that’s sort of a happy song if you think about it–and a handful of lit sparklers that set off the fire alarm.