Media

Top 10 Next Career Moves for Judith Miller

by

In the wake of both her release from jail and The New York Times’ Sunday
post-mortem
, everyone’s asking what’s next for reporter Judith Miller. Some
possibilities:

1. Becomes recipient of new Prisoner of Conscience Chair at American
Enterprise Institute (endowed by Conrad Black and Richard Perle, using
money from dubious Hollinger dealings); as a sideline, opens “Iraqi
National Cafe” just outside AEI’s Wohlstetter Auditorium with Laurie
Mylroie

2. Founds First Amendment Center for Reporters Who are Covering for
Government Sources Conspiring to Attack Whistleblowers

3. Incorporates Pedicures for Prisoners, an advocacy groups for the right of
incarcerated elite journalists to get a little pampering while waiting for
grand jury terms to expire

4. Writes series of books, including memoir (Guns, Germs and Steel
Bars
) and how-to book on subverting U.S. newspaper of record (Valerie Plame Has 99
Names
)

5. Eventually, Lou Dobbs and others come to their senses and stop
uncritically venerating her; backlash become so intense that she desires
anonymity and, fondly recalling her run-in in Aspen with Scooter Libby,
drifts out West and quietly finds work as rodeo clown

6. After Karen Hughes fails, becomes next Undersecretary of State for Public Diplomacy

7. Gets job offer to join crack fake-news team at “The Daily Show.” (Memo to
Jon Stewart: Watch your desk)

8. Prevails on Arthur Sulzberger and Bill Keller to change New York Times motto from
“All The News That’s Fit to Print” to “Whatever Miss Run Amok Thinks She
Can Get Away With, We Run It”

9. Keller and Sulzberger decide to go head-to-head with CNN on media
criticism; Discovery Times channel debuts “Reliable Sources with Judith
Miller”

10. Keller and Sulzberger announce new job for Miller at Times:
ombudsman

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