Morning Report 10/19/05The Emperor’s New Court


Golly, that robe fits Miers perfectly!

Harkavy; White House

Cut the bullshit: Harriet Miers has no business being on the Supreme Court.

Somebody. Anybody. See the cane? Are you able? Yank her off the national stage.

I keep thinking that any moment now, Miers’s time will be up and she’ll withdraw. It will be sold to the public as her decision.

That may happen, and if it does, I don’t care whose decision it is. Let everyone save face. Fine. But don’t let this mediocrity on the Supreme Court.

It’s laughable that some religious conservatives are attacking Miers for not passing their litmus test. Get this: She passes already.

Her unrequited love, Nathan Hecht, gave her a pod. She took it home. She fell asleep. The next morning she was changed. She’s one of you now. Why are you still bitching about her?

Maybe the religious-right wingnuts and other blindly loyal Bush allies are complaining about this nominee because even they know she’s not qualified to be on the Supreme Court. They just won’t admit that simple truth. Her faulty judgment probably scared the shit out of them — she has actually told people, as I’ve previously noted, that she thinks Bush is smart. In their heart of cold hearts, Bush’s big-cigar buddies don’t believe that.

This POTUS is smart? Excuse me? Recuse you, Harriet.

I hate to think what the pusillanimous Democrats will do if she ever faces them during a confirmation hearing. As members of the Capitol Hill club, they’re likely to tiptoe around the plain and simple fact that SHE IS NOT QUALIFIED. SHE IS BUSH’S PERSONAL ATTORNEY.

I’d like to emulate poets, especially those who eschew capital letters. Instead, here I am writing in all caps, like any other psycho. But this hemming and hawing about Miers is driving me nuts. She’s Bush’s personal attorney. How many times do we have to say this?

She was a corporate lawyer who rose in the bureaucracy of lawyers. Wow. She ran a big law firm. Wow. She ran a big law firm poorly enough that it had to shell out $30 million to people who got bamboozled by scamsters — on her watch.

So she’s not only just a corporate lawyer, but also not a remarkable one. She’s shown no particular interest in constitutional law, nor has she worked as a judge.

We’ve put the lie to so much of the Bush regime’s fakery. Yet Miers would be the biggest faker of all if she dons the robe of a Supreme Court justice.

If this continues to the point at which Miers is actually sitting across from the senators, I hope they’ve read at least the last part of Hans Christian Andersen‘s tips from 1837 on how to dress for success:

The chamberlains, who were to carry the [emperor’s] train, stretched their hands to the ground as if they lifted up a train, and pretended to hold something in their hands; they did not like people to know that they could not see anything.

The emperor marched in the procession under the beautiful canopy, and all who saw him in the street and out of the windows exclaimed: “Indeed, the emperor’s new suit is incomparable! What a long train he has! How well it fits him!”

Nobody wished to let others know he saw nothing, for then he would have been unfit for his office or too stupid. Never emperor’s clothes were more admired.

“But he has nothing on at all,” said a little child at last.

“Good heavens! Listen to the voice of an innocent child,” said the father, and one whispered to the other what the child had said.

“But he has nothing on at all,” cried at last the whole people.

That made a deep impression upon the emperor, for it seemed to him that they were right; but he thought to himself, “Now I must bear up to the end.”

And the chamberlains walked with still greater dignity, as if they carried the train which did not exist.

I wish I could say there’s a happier ending. But that’s it.

What’s really grim, brother, is that the emperor continued to pretend.

Just like a modern-day moronic leader who shared with us his reverie that “wings take dream.” And his subjects continued to applaud him. And elect him. And elect him again.

My question: When do people stop going along with the charade?