Riff Raff Classified Documents Series, #5
01 Freedy Johnston: “Trying To Tell You I Don’t Know”
I didn’t! But now I do know: I never, ever should have bet my Supreme Court nomination on the goddamn Astros. Seriously, what the fuck was I thinking.
02 Death From Above 1979: “Pull Out”
Of course I’m bummed out about having to. Harriet Miers–Supreme Court Justice. What a ring. Now I’m just Harriet Miers–Woman with Crazy Tattoos on her Butt.
03 Miss Tammy Faye Starlite: “God Has Lodged A Tenant In My Uterus”
And it’s not paying rent! Ha ha. Sorry, in a really punchy mood these days. Wow.
04 Rolling Stones: “Look What the Cat Dragged In”
For the longest time this song on the Stones’ new record perplexed me. Look what the cat dragged in, Harri. What? Tell me, where is the cat? Then I realized, what the cat dragged in was me.
05 Three 6 Mafia: “Let’s Plan A Robbery”
I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not that. This is just a reminder to myself that Blockbuster needs me to return Cops and Robbersons. Chevy Chase’s acting–criminal! The other guys were fine.
06 Munich Machine: “Get On The Funk Train”
Well how do you expect me to get to Blockbuster? It’s not like I’m going to ride my bike!
07 Ludacris: “Pimpin All Over the World”
A lot of people have suggested I pimp all over the world, you know, just to let off some steam. Well, I think pimping all over Texas will be enough for me thank you!
08 Killing Joke: “Wardance”
Now that this Supreme Court gig is finito, I’m thinking maybe a gig in choreography? You wouldn’t believe the moves I got for this one: left foots in, sliding in, left foots in again, then this thing with my head, then this other thing with my bum (!), then everything in. It’s like the Macarena doing the Macarena.
09 Slim Thug: “Like A Boss”
The bottom line is that, maybe I’m not a boss, but I’m like a boss, and for some people, like me and Mr. Thug, that’s enough. For this song, I have a move where I act like I’m pretending to put things in a “shopping cart” and (oh dear)–pumping a keg!
10 Franz Ferdinand: “Do You Want To?”
11 Ex Models: “That’s Funny, I Don’t Feel Like A Shithead”
I really don’t!
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on October 27, 2005