Something about the holidays seems to bring all the queens out. Of particular note is “The Bitches Are Back!” featuring the three golden girls of New York’s more illustrious and seedy past. Joey Arias and Raven O take a break from hookin’ in Vegas and rejoin forces with their longtime sister in sass Sherry Vine. The Bar d’O reunion will make you believe in Santy Claus. Three sets. Sun @ 11pm, midnight, and 1am, Indochine, 430 Lafayette, 212-505-5111
Across town, have a three-night stand with former Cock girl Jackie Beat, who’s stopped blowing Hollywood producers long enough to come out to do her filthy, naughty, totally politically incorrect holiday show (and unless your parents are exceptionally open-minded, you really shouldn’t take them). Ms. Beat can’t be beat at rewriting popular songs (new and old) to fit her twisted ways, and she’s got pretty wicked singing chops too. Bring a box of Kleenex or three. You’ll laugh so hard you’ll cry. Thu–Sun, the Cutting Room, 19 W 24th, 212-691-1900
Before the Citizens Band, Adam Dugas was best known for “Chaos & Candy,” the most demented, yet somehow wholesome, holiday show around. He’s graduated from the L train to the A/C train, with his beefed-up version of C & C, “Kabuki Christmas.” A C & C Christmas makes you feel like you got dropped off in the middle of the board game Candy Land, except there are more boobies and it’s Xmastime. In addition to favorites from years past, like the Human Petting Zoo, Dugas’s coterie of crazy downtown performers are back onstage, including Jeremiah Clancy, Viva Ruiz, Amber Ray, Casey Spooner, and Lizzy Yoder.
Sat @ 9:30, Hiro Ballroom, 363 W 16th, 212-242-4300