If you’re looking for recommendations on glitzy bottle-service parties to attend on New Year’s Eve, put down this paper, run across the street without looking, and bang your head into a wall. This is the no-bullshit guide to New Year’s. Techno lovers can fork over $25 (less if you’re a pre-planner type) to hear the “secret” hot producer Rex the Dog—who has a healthy affection for acid house—spin alongside local Marcos Cabral (who made it big in Europe thanks to Europeans’ better taste in music) and the Shadetek boys Zach and Matt, plus regular beat junkies Cowboy Mark, Bangers and Mash,
and Mode Raw. Held at a venue that’s not really a proper venue, so you’ll feel all illegal
and stuff. Sat @ 10, 69 W 14th,

Those of you not dumb enough to be hungover on the first day of the year can get down at Danny Krivit’s totally laid-back 718 Sessions party, with the best in groovy deep house, disco, and classics. The master mixer is joined by house diva Joi Cardwell, who performs live. It starts early and is still cheaper than anything else all weekend. $5 for the first 100 people, $12 after. Sun @ 6, Deep, 16 W 22nd, 212-978-8869

Since New Year’s Eve is for amateurs, the professional party people at Motherfucker are hosting their NYE bash on the eve of the eve itself. (Which means that since you’ll be hungover on Saturday, you’ll start the first of the year fresh as a spring chicken.) DFA’s the Juan Maclean play live, and as always, dangerous duo Michael T and Justine D. spin their patented mix of new wave, new hits, indie rock, Britpop, and post-punk. With DJs Dave P and Adam Sparkles (of Philly’s Making Time) and JDH. Fri @10, Avalon, 662 Sixth Ave, 212- 807-7780, $20