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Inside a snake’s face

Knitting Factory
December 21

The destination at least. I didn’t make it in the end, so good thing Status has a blow-by-blow here.

For the uninitiated, Sunn0))) describe their mission as such:

To create trance-like soundscapes with the ultimate low end/bottom frequencies intended to massage the listeners intestines into an act of defecation. SUNN 0))) have gathered 2x for live performances, at which they have successfully made audience members instantly nauseous, or better yet run for the toilet in terror.

In other words, a good Sunn0))) show has tangible results. Seems weird since most people think of music in purely aesthetic terms, i.e. never in terms of music physically compelling them (except to dance, or play air guitar). But that’s what bands want you to think. The truth is that each and every musical act out there has a barometer for live success–some visible outcome that signals triumph. Today we take a look into how some musicians know whether they’ve “brought down the house”:

  • Bjork. Famous for emitting high frequencies from her singing mouth, the Icelandic pop star says she’s not totally satisfied with her performance unless ear drums pop and her fans’ ear canals start bleeding. (Bjork is a vampire.)
  • U2. “Vertigo”–with Bono’s memorable opening line “Uno, dos, tres, catorce!”–was a mega-hit upon debut. But Bono wanted more than a mega-hit–he wanted to change the world. This week, he found out he did: Reports show world Spanish literacy has increased by over 15%, and more importantly, Spanish counting skills have decreased by 45%.
  • Tony Yayo. The Talk of New York has rapped well, he says, when he’s so sweaty that he can take off his bucket hat, look inside, and see all the roaches are gone.
  • Nelly. With a song called “Hot in Herre” and a hook that goes “Take off all your clothes!” Nelly knows whether his show’s succeeded all too easily. This past year he’s made things slightly more difficult for himself: After people have taken off their clothes, Nelly jumps right into last year’s dud “Flap Your Wings,” while select members of his street team go into the crowd and remove all the clothes from the venue. Nelly knows he’s succeeded if at least five people are still flapping their wings, or if the clothes he’s stolen get him good in-store credit at Beacon’s.
  • Creed. Sources report lead singer Scott Stapp has infamously bad breath, and originally insisted that a Creed show wasn’t over until he had hotboxed the entire venue with his odor. Outdoor shows posed a problem for Stapp, however, who quickly downgraded his “hotbox the entire venue” ambition to the much more reasonable “hotbox my entire mouth.”

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